hi mom, i just wanted to let you know how my day went. I went to the doctor as you would always get on me about.  My sugar and cholesterol has been really high but im working on getting it back to normal. I promised you i would try and take care of myself. It has been really difficult you not being here with me. Sometimes i think about bringing tory in the room to see you in the mornings like i use too. she misses you. We went grocery shopping today and i thought about all the snacks i use to get you. its hard to leave there all the things you use to love to eat. I finally went back to work, this has been really hard for me too.  I see outfits that i know you would like and now i cant bring them home to show you and see your face light up. Or you tell me to stop buying you all this stuff. I know your favorite thing is to shop. It doesnt feel the same anymore. I want to be able to move on with my life, but i really dont know how im going to do this. I pray everyday that the Lord gives me some sort of peace within myself. I cry to myself wishing i could have just that one more day with you. To hold you and tell you how much i love you. I still want to plan a BIG birthday party for you mom. In y our memory. I know how much you talked about having your party this year. that meant alot to you. i want to honor you mom. well i guess i better stop wrring now. I will be checking in on you to let you know how im doing. I love you forever mom. your baby girl Becky.

I truly miss you mom.  I miss tlkng to you every day or either every other day.  I remember that when we had our differences over little petty things, we wouldn't talk for at least 2 days, then you would cll me and ask me "Are you still mad at me?"  I would say that I forgot all about it.  I miss sharing my deepest thoughts with you and asking for your advice.  There are times that I forget that you are not here, and I want to pick up the phone to talk with you.  When you told me that you were planning your own funeral, I didn't want to hear it and tried to change the subject, but you wouldn't let up.  I just didn't want to accept it, and I'm still trying to cope with it to this day.  Just thought I'd let you know that I have asked Emma to be my mom in your place and she was overjoyed.  I know you are in a better place and happy seeing everybody.  Tell them all hi for me, especially Dad and Kita.  Will see you some day soon.  Don't worry about me, I will be okay.  Love you mom always.