People say kind, well meaning things like "U have to be brave" & "You'll get over this" but all I really believe is you're not me. You don't understand.

Grieving is not a pace I want t stay nor can I go back for my old life is no longer there. Accepting "It's very hard" & understanding I've got a long way to go" instead of trying to talk me out of it. Listen, be there, accept that's the emotional first aid we can offer eachother when bad times come.

I've often thought that doctors should have written a death certificate for me as well as my son, for when my Isaiah died, a part of me died, too.

  You're still here
At the finest level of being you're still with me
I still look at u at the level beyond sight
I talk & laugh with u in a place beyond words
I still touch u on a level beyond touch
I share time for u in a place where time stands still
We are still together on a level called Love
BUT I CRY ALONE FOR U IN A PLACE CALLED REALITY

When u lose someone you love, your soul moves to another place. This place is the "journey" u are about to travel & know it will have an emptiness feeling. Where your life seems to stand still for a while. You are still physically here, yet  others sense you're just not here right now. They think it might be time for u to "come back" now and for short periods you do. Then something, some place, some song sends you on that "journey" again.

I've Earned My Wings

I'm sorry Mommy I left so soon,
I was there when the angels woke you up at noon,
I know I was gone from the flash from the start,
Mommy Remember!
I'll always be in your heart.
I listen to you dearly, when you visit my grave.
Please don't cry, be sad. Continue to be brave.
I didn't mean to leave you so soon.
I was looking from heaven when everyone released their balloons.
Take care of my big brother and big sister too.
There will always and forever be apart of me living in you.
I'll be waiting for you here, at the golden gate.
Time is ticking mommy, Please don't be late!
I long to embrace you in my arms.
Don't worry Mommy!
I'm at a place where there is no harm.
I've earned my wings. I live in the sky.
I'm watching everyday mommy so please don't cry !
                                                     Love,
                                                   Your son

Isaiah was a blessing to have in life. He was taken away too soon but memories of him will never be forgotten. He is truly missed everyday. He loved SpongeBob, balloons, to eat, play outside, his family, animals. He was a bright little boy that had a whole future ahead for him. Sad to say that it was taken from him but Isaiah is up in heaven looking down at us and he is with the one person I can truely trust " The Lord". Up there 'there is no sorrow, no weeping, no pain" he is with the Lord that loves him and will keep him safe.

I can't hold back