It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since I last talked to Jake. I can still hear his voice and his crazy laugh, which will always make me smile. We were only friends for a few years, but he was the kind of friend that left a truly lasting impression. My strongest memories of Jake were during the first year he trained for Ironman, and the time he spent preparing for his second time. We talked all the time, comparing training notes and plans, passing time on the phone while on bike trainers, swapping stories about our kids and families and experiences and friends, ironing out frustrations, exchanging triumphs, and sharing an obsession (?) that can be hard for some to understand—and how life changing it can all be. He picked my brain and called me “Coach”….he wanted to earn that medal and make his girls proud, even though they didn’t quite yet understand what it meant. Seeing him at that finish line was a pretty special moment. Jake had such a great Ironman spirit—“anything is possible” is the motto—he didn’t doubt that he could do anything. As it turned out, he was right!
During our very last conversation, the night before he died, we were discussing my daughter’s upcoming high school graduation. He joked about how he would be “soooo old” by the time Carmela graduated from college, and we laughed at the vision. He told me that he thought my kids were great, how he thought of my teens as “his friends, too,” and I remember how proud that made me feel, how much I appreciated that. He talked about all the things he looked forward to doing with Ava, Giana, and Carmela as they got older, how it would only get increasingly fun for him. Obviously, that conversation stuck with me. It seems unfair that these things will never happen. I miss him a ton, and think about him all the time. I miss hearing the stories of him being a silly daddy with his girls, his plans for teaching them new things, or how he looked forward to planning a date night for Jess. When I think about how much he loved his family and loved life, how many people he connected with and the lives he touched, how much he packed into his short time here, and how much was packed into our relatively short friendship, I am so very grateful for his friendship and it reminds me to make all of my own time count. I like to think he’s able to watch over his family and friends, even if he doesn’t answer back…
To Ava, Giana, and Carmela, I hope that you are constantly reminded of how precious you and your mommy were to your daddy.