June 25, 2021
James Meredith was born in Iqaluit, Nunavut in January 2000, just a few weeks after his family moved there from the province of Quebec.
James joined his sister and brother, Emilie and Scott, who were 6 and 5 years of age. This sibling trio have a very unique feature in common. Emilie and Scott had very close birthdays, January 20 and 18. James found a way to squeeze in there in the middle. He was born January 19 2000!
James and his family lived in Iqaluit, Nunavut for over five years. Living in Nunavut, far away from extended family, led to tight bonds between James and his siblings. Emilie and Scott were very caring towards James as a baby and toddler.
Nunavut was a very unique and special place to live. The children were happy and made some good friends during our time there.
During our time there we had the privilege of having visits from James mom’s parents. Their visit was much appreciated and offered James mom a bit of a reprieve as they helped a lot with baby James.
James aunt Lyne and her family also came for a visit. His god parents, uncle Guy and Stephanie also visited us there. Those were great family moments that happened mainly because they wanted to see our addition to the family.
Being away from extended family was a challenge at times. We missed them a lot. For that reason every summer we rented a cottage in the Laurentians and greeted extended family and friends on numerous occasions.
Being so young James got used to life in the North, which meant having to dress up warm almost all the time. Hence he got used to wearing long sleeve t-shirts. Funny anecdote was the fact he got so used to it that up until he was 4 years of age, every time we travelled south, although we were in very hot weather, James got so frustrated at having to wear short sleeves. He would pull downward on the sleeves to try stretch them to make them long. He would make us laugh so much with his insistence. Thankfully, over time he got used to wearing the right attire when we went to warm weather places.
James was always excited by these trips as he would get to see his aunts, uncles and cousins during family gatherings at our cottage.
In 2005 we headed to Whitehorse, Yukon. This is where James started school. He struggled somewhat in school. At first he was in French school but shortly thereafter he went to an English elementary school, where he did better in school.
During those early years (and for his entire life for that matter) friendships meant the world to James. Even as a young boy, he was very loyal to his friends and developed a few tight friendships that endured through the years even after he left the Yukon.
James was a very active boy. Like most kids he loved to be in the company of friends and playing. He loved to go swimming at the Canada Games Centre, which was something he did almost on a weekly basis.
James loved camping and fishing with his family the most. We made several trips to Alaska during our time in the Yukon and enjoyed several amazing camping excursions. Haines, Alaska was by far our favourite place. James loved salmon fishing there with his brother and especially loved seeing the many grizzlies and bald eagles we encountered from a distance during those trips. For a little fellow, he also caught his fair share of nice sized salmon.
James also enjoyed hiking. The Yukon is an incredible place for hiking and early on James loved getting out there with family. Memorable hikes include those with his family and and on one occasion with his aunt Lyne and her family at Kings Throne near Haines Junction, when they came for a visit in 2005. We also appreciated the visit of his uncle Guy and aunt Stephanie, who came to spend a few days with us in 2006.
During the various camping trips with his dad, James loved canoeing. He loved being out on the water paddling and exploring. If there was an island nearby, James would want to paddle there just to explore.
He also loved sitting around the camp fire. We could always count on James to get the ax and do his best to gather the wood needed to keep the camp fire going.
James just seemed very much at peace and happy as a young lad when he could do all these things with his family. It did not matter so much where he was, just as long as he was with family or friends, doing these kinds of activities made him happy.
What stands out with James as a young child was his eagerness to feel part of whatever was going on with friends and family. He just wanted to feel and be included. James was exceptionally loyal to his friends and family. He wanted to feel accepted for who he was and he in turn accepted those close to him as they were.
James moved to Ottawa at age 10. When he arrived in Ottawa, being new to the area it meant having to adapt to a new neighbourhood, a new school, etc in a different part of the country.
He found adapting to his new environment difficult in spite of significant efforts on his part. As adolescence came along, this was a more challenging time for James. He experienced much anxiety as he tried to adjust to this new life and in his efforts to make new friends. He made a few very close friendships during those years that endured throughout his time in Ottawa and beyond.
His return to Ottawa also allowed him to spend more time with his aunts, uncles and cousins and his grandmother in Ottawa and St Jerome. He enjoyed getting together with them on special occasions.
James was very active during his time in Ottawa. He took karate lessons, guitar lessons, enjoyed skate boarding, mountain biking, cycling and played in a youth ultimate league for a couple of years. He tried his hand at squash and golf a few times. He also learned downhill skiing. As much as he struggled at first with this sport, he was lucky to have met at some point a young downhill ski instructor at Mont Cascade who was remarkably patient and caring.
Her kind approach made him feel comfortable and he was then able to quickly learn the basics of downhill skiing. Once he got hooked on skiing he enjoyed skiing many weekends on the Gatineau slopes for a few winters.
As active as he was, James also enjoyed sitting comfortably to read books. He was an avid reader. He was also a fast reader. He was a huge Stephen King fan and read most of his novels during the latter part of his teens. Once he picked up a book, if he got into it, he could read right through to the end in a short time. He also read other kinds of books, such as self help books and books on how to start a real estate business. His interest in such subjects, which was a bit unusual considering his young age, gave us a glimpse of his motivation to learn new things and his drive to improve himself as a person.
James was also a huge movie fan. During his teens in Ottawa James must have seen hundreds of movies in the theatre. He loved to go to the theatre with his brother and father. He always ordered a large Coke and a larger popcorn than he needed as he knew his dad would be ready to finish it off after he had eaten his fill.
James loved all kinds of movies. He loved movies that made him laugh but he also loved action flics and dramas. The important thing for James was to sense that the movie had a story close to or connected to possible real life experiences. Such films moved him and he would really get into it. That is why he was not a big fan of the wave of Marvel and DC movies.
Again, as long as James was busy and active with fun and healthy pursuits and in the company of people he cared for, he was happy.
As a child James was not very athletic nor was he very strong or fit. Yet, when we was about 12 he became very determined to become fit and strong. He wanted to be an athlete and developed during his early teenage years an attraction for combat sports related training.
At about 13 or 14 James discovered the sport of boxing. This turned out to be the passion of his life.
He told his dad he wanted to try boxing. He had already picked the club… Beaver Boxing Club in Ottawa. On day one, as soon as he walked in there and started training, he was in love with the sport. He loved everything about the club, the intense training, the people, the coaches, the camaraderie.
Jill Perry, the head coach at the club, was a tremendous inspiration to James. They got to know each other quite well. James loved her dearly and her husband Jim. They were so kind to him and he appreciated their generosity very much.
Beaver Boxing and the people there made James feel he belonged. He was so proud when he was assigned his own locker, which was something at the time that only the most active members were lucky to have. Early on he was also able to join their youth boxing program which lead to opportunities to take part in a number of amateur boxing tournaments.
Beaver Boxing and boxing was a god send for James. He found a true passion there and it impacted every aspect of his life. Most importantly he was very healthy and fit, which was important to James and he was
surrounded by really good people, who cared for him and who he cared for.
He also loved to volunteer in the many boxing galas and events organized by the club aimed at fund raising for youth. It gave him a sense of purpose, as he enjoyed helping Jill and being part of events where he would be surrounded by his friends from the club.
His willingness to give manifested itself in other ways. He even volunteered a couple of times at Shepherds of Good Hope in Ottawa, where he joined his dad serving meals for homeless people on Friday nights at the soup kitchen.
He was very giving in general. For example, quite often, when he spotted a homeless person outside a Tim Hortons in Ottawa or when he lived in BC he would buy food for himself but he would also purchase extra food and a coffee and handed it to a homeless person as he stepped out of the restaurant.
He just had this sensitive side to him that was expressed at various times in this manner throughout the latter part of his teens and into adulthood.
At about age 16 James sustained quite a serious shoulder injury (torn labrum), which prevented him from training and competing in boxing.
This was a very difficult time for James. He had become accustomed to being so active and it seems his physical and mental wellness was tied to that. Because of his condition he could not train for quite some time so he did not spend as much time at the club. The anxiety James felt during this time was palpable.
He had surgery on his shoulder which meant he could not train for 6 months and then only could he begin training very slowly.
During this period of inactivity James was not as happy, nor as driven or motivated. Around this time he began spending more time with young people who were focused on less healthy pursuits. This was a period when his family was concerned about where he was heading.
That being said, James was remarkably resilient. He realized that the path he was on was not what he wanted and was only temporary. As he got healthier following his surgery, eventually he was able to start training again. This helped him tremendously as he again found himself regularly in the club’s amazingly healthy atmosphere.
However within a short period he realized his shoulder was not quite the same and, on top of that, his other shoulder began hurting. It made it difficult for him to train with the intensity he enjoyed.
This is when he decided to try kick boxing. Because this sport did not involve as much repetitive use of his arms and shoulders but also involved using his legs significantly, he found it was not as hard on his shoulders.
After a short time this became his new athletic pursuit. He joined the Fight and Fitness mixed martial arts club in Ottawa and dedicated himself to this new athletic pursuit. His heart was still with the Beaver Boxing club and he stayed connected to the club and the people there but he just found it easier to excel at this point in this new sport.
During those years, excluding the period he was injured, James trained with tremendous intensity and became exceptionally fit and strong. Nothing made him feel better than being able to train hard. He felt healthy and this generally impacted other aspects of his life.
From age 15 until he was 18 he also held a part time job at a local Loblaws close to where he lived and he showed good work ethic for such a young man.
Nevertheless it seems that James suffered from a lot internal anxiety during those years. As much as the healthy pursuits he engaged in helped a lot, he was wired in such a way that anxiety led him to go through episodes of personal instability.
High School was not an easy place for James. In hind site the particular schools he attended and some of the people there were not well suited to help James with his personal struggles. He was not particularly studious and suffered from attention deficit and while he did reasonably well academically in the circumstances, it was clear school was not a place James felt at ease.
He finished and graduated from high school and that was it as far as he was concerned regarding the idea of pursuing further studies.
In the year that followed his graduation James continued to train to some degree but with varying levels of commitment. His dedication was more sporadic. At the same time it seems he felt a little lost about life and friends. He tended to gravitate towards the less healthy crow he had gotten to know earlier.
During those episodes it seemed that James found it easier to feel accepted by
some of these other friends. Some of them, as many experience as young adults, were living through their own personal life challenges.
James was loyal to this group of friends as well. As mentioned earlier, what mattered to James was to feel accepted for who he was and being around people he accepted as they were.
Yet James was torn inside about this unhealthy side of his life. He showed some resilience as he always stayed connected and engaged in some level of physical activity, either in boxing or kick boxing.
After a difficult summer in 2018 James decided to make an important change in his life. He wanted to shake things up for himself. He was driven to find the right path and to lead a healthy lifestyle. In August 2018 he decided to move to Vancouver, British Columbia, where his mother and his sister Emilie lived with her life partner Rob.
At first this seemed like the right choice on his part. Upon arrival he worked in landscaping with his brother in law. He was learning a new trade. He worked hard. This was his first full time job.
He found his own place and was learning what it took to pay for rent and live on your own. He also enjoyed seeing his sister and mother on a regular basis. Now that he was earning a living, he especially enjoyed occasionally treating his mom to a nice meal at a restaurant and/ or a movie. These moments were very special to James.
He loved spending time with his family in BC. He spent a lot of time at his sister’s home. He loved having family meals or just hanging out with them.
During visits there from his dad and brother, when his entire family was there together, James would be with us all the time. Those moments were very precious to him.
In October 2018 he experienced the joy of becoming an uncle when his sister gave birth to Orlaith.
Orlaith quickly became the love of his life. He loved her dearly and showed her much attention and affection. He loved holding her in his arms and reading to her. As she became a toddler, he loved to make her laugh.
To Orlaith, James was her rock star. She would just light up as soon as he entered a room. He had an uncanny ability to make her explode in laughter and giggles, especially when he would start vigourously shadow boxing in front of her. Nobody else did that kind of stuff and she just found him so funny.
That was another amazing side of James. His sense of humour, goofiness and ability to laugh at himself was very endearing. He laughed with a child like giggle almost and had an amazing wide grin kind of smile. It was just great to be with him in such moments.
He was very handsome and had an amazing smile. There was an innocence and engaging way about him that made him very loveable. He was also a relentless teaser, especially of his siblings and mom and dad. He would go at it with such persistence that he could drive you crazy and make you laugh at the same time.
He was also very loving. Throughout his life and even as young man, James was never shy to tell his siblings and mom and dad that he loved us. And he never got tired of hearing it from us either.
During his first year in BC James learned his trade and showed strong work ethic. He was up early every morning, eager to join his crew of coworkers. He liked the physical side of the work. His strength and excellent fitness helped him a lot in this kind of work.
He joined a mixed martial arts club in Vancouver and began training, sporadically initially in 2018 and early 2019. Then he started training there with more consistency and this made him feel good.
He was doing so well that his mom and dad decided to surprise him in April 2019 and bought as a gift his first car. He was overjoyed and so proud to have his own car. It gave him the added freedom, independence and sense of responsibility which was a real plus in his life at the time.
By this time his sister had moved to Langley while he still lived in Vancouver. Having a car made a big difference to James as he could now drive there whenever he wanted, which was several days a week. He really enjoyed hanging out with his sister and the love of his life, Orlaith. For Emilie having her little brother there so often was priceless.
Around this period, unfortunately, James encountered a few new « friends » who were not positive forces for a young man like him, who struggled so much with anxiety on a consistent basis.
For them illegal drugs are part of their lifestyle. For James it gave him easier access to a misguided way to self medicate as he tried to cope with his severe anxiety. They did not know James well enough, nor care enough, to perhaps realize that this was not what James needed, particularly during the last couple of months of his life when his family was desperately trying to convince him to undergo treatment.
In September 2019 James had a car accident and his vehicle was totalled. This was a big blow to James as he lost, in his mind, a big chunk of his new found freedom and independence. He could no longer come and go as he wished to the gym, to meet friends or see his mom, sister and Orlaith as frequently. Late Fall was a difficult time for James.
By the end of 2019/ early 2020 James was increasingly struggling with anxiety. His family was very engaged to try to find the help he needed over the next few months.
Unfortunately, as beautiful and picturesque as BC is, James and his family discovered just how poor the combination of the medical and policing systems are in Vancouver when it comes to helping people suffering from substance use and mental health issues.
On more than one occasion we sought their help. It is actually scary and shocking to realize the level of individual and institutional incompetence demonstrated by police, James’ doctor and the BC health care system.
At this point James was not working anymore and was not really in a state of mind to work, although he did try to find work. However, the COVID pandemic had just started and this made it even more difficult to find work. The public health restrictions also made James feel more isolated, which did not help his situation.
By this time, in April 2020, James was dealing with severe mental health struggles and he was increasingly leaning on substance use to self medicate as his anxiety was becoming debilitating.
His family was in constant contact with him, speaking to him daily and trying to support him as best we knew how. We pleaded with him to accept treatment. He showed resistance to this but gradually he was becoming increasingly open to this prospect.
Near the end of the month of April he told his brother he would likely be ready to enter treatment at the end of May 2020. James was also thinking of returning to Ottawa in the hopes of working with his brother. We encouraged him to do so but he just wasn’t quite ready to come back as he wanted to try to make it work in BC.
On the last day of April he reconnected with a very close friend of his from his time in high school. We thought thisperson was a special and positive force in James life. This, along with the ongoing encouragement and support from his family, we think, likely would have eventually triggered James return to Ottawa.
Sadly James never got that opportunity. On May 1st 2020, as he no doubt wanted to self medicate in the manner he had been increasingly doing over the previous four months, James passed away from fentanyl poisoning. He was 20 years of age.
James’ passing has devastated his family. The fact he had been struggling so much during the last few months of his life just amplified that devastation.
Although we were worried that something like this could happen, we had taken so many steps to prepare for the moment that James would signal us that he was ready to go to treatment, that this gave us hope.
James had always been remarkably resilient during his life. Although he struggled at times with his own demons, he had an inner hunger to lead a happy and healthy life. He had shown so much resilience his entire life that we had much hope he would bounce back from this difficult period.
James life and his dreams for the future were cut short. Life will never be the same without him. As we struggle daily with the pain of his loss, we can’t help but realize the trail of love he left with us.
James loved his family and his family loved him unconditionally throughout the good and the difficult times. There are several other special people who James felt incredibly close to and who truly cared for him.
It is incredibly painful knowing we will no longer be able to tease him, hang out with him, enjoy meals with him, hug him and experience all those other life's family moments that lay ahead.
However he has left us with a ton of memories that will be with us forever. He was an incredibly caring, passionate and loving person. We miss him everyday and would do anything to have him back with us.
Loving and caring for James was an amazing privilege. He was so vibrant that the
powerful memory of him is such that it feels as though he is still with us at times.
Our young prince James, you are now our King. Watch over us. Your memory will live on through your mom, dad, brother and sister and all those who loved you and who you loved back.
James joined his sister and brother, Emilie and Scott, who were 6 and 5 years of age. This sibling trio have a very unique feature in common. Emilie and Scott had very close birthdays, January 20 and 18. James found a way to squeeze in there in the middle. He was born January 19 2000!
James and his family lived in Iqaluit, Nunavut for over five years. Living in Nunavut, far away from extended family, led to tight bonds between James and his siblings. Emilie and Scott were very caring towards James as a baby and toddler.
Nunavut was a very unique and special place to live. The children were happy and made some good friends during our time there.
During our time there we had the privilege of having visits from James mom’s parents. Their visit was much appreciated and offered James mom a bit of a reprieve as they helped a lot with baby James.
James aunt Lyne and her family also came for a visit. His god parents, uncle Guy and Stephanie also visited us there. Those were great family moments that happened mainly because they wanted to see our addition to the family.
Being away from extended family was a challenge at times. We missed them a lot. For that reason every summer we rented a cottage in the Laurentians and greeted extended family and friends on numerous occasions.
Being so young James got used to life in the North, which meant having to dress up warm almost all the time. Hence he got used to wearing long sleeve t-shirts. Funny anecdote was the fact he got so used to it that up until he was 4 years of age, every time we travelled south, although we were in very hot weather, James got so frustrated at having to wear short sleeves. He would pull downward on the sleeves to try stretch them to make them long. He would make us laugh so much with his insistence. Thankfully, over time he got used to wearing the right attire when we went to warm weather places.
James was always excited by these trips as he would get to see his aunts, uncles and cousins during family gatherings at our cottage.
In 2005 we headed to Whitehorse, Yukon. This is where James started school. He struggled somewhat in school. At first he was in French school but shortly thereafter he went to an English elementary school, where he did better in school.
During those early years (and for his entire life for that matter) friendships meant the world to James. Even as a young boy, he was very loyal to his friends and developed a few tight friendships that endured through the years even after he left the Yukon.
James was a very active boy. Like most kids he loved to be in the company of friends and playing. He loved to go swimming at the Canada Games Centre, which was something he did almost on a weekly basis.
James loved camping and fishing with his family the most. We made several trips to Alaska during our time in the Yukon and enjoyed several amazing camping excursions. Haines, Alaska was by far our favourite place. James loved salmon fishing there with his brother and especially loved seeing the many grizzlies and bald eagles we encountered from a distance during those trips. For a little fellow, he also caught his fair share of nice sized salmon.
James also enjoyed hiking. The Yukon is an incredible place for hiking and early on James loved getting out there with family. Memorable hikes include those with his family and and on one occasion with his aunt Lyne and her family at Kings Throne near Haines Junction, when they came for a visit in 2005. We also appreciated the visit of his uncle Guy and aunt Stephanie, who came to spend a few days with us in 2006.
During the various camping trips with his dad, James loved canoeing. He loved being out on the water paddling and exploring. If there was an island nearby, James would want to paddle there just to explore.
He also loved sitting around the camp fire. We could always count on James to get the ax and do his best to gather the wood needed to keep the camp fire going.
James just seemed very much at peace and happy as a young lad when he could do all these things with his family. It did not matter so much where he was, just as long as he was with family or friends, doing these kinds of activities made him happy.
What stands out with James as a young child was his eagerness to feel part of whatever was going on with friends and family. He just wanted to feel and be included. James was exceptionally loyal to his friends and family. He wanted to feel accepted for who he was and he in turn accepted those close to him as they were.
James moved to Ottawa at age 10. When he arrived in Ottawa, being new to the area it meant having to adapt to a new neighbourhood, a new school, etc in a different part of the country.
He found adapting to his new environment difficult in spite of significant efforts on his part. As adolescence came along, this was a more challenging time for James. He experienced much anxiety as he tried to adjust to this new life and in his efforts to make new friends. He made a few very close friendships during those years that endured throughout his time in Ottawa and beyond.
His return to Ottawa also allowed him to spend more time with his aunts, uncles and cousins and his grandmother in Ottawa and St Jerome. He enjoyed getting together with them on special occasions.
James was very active during his time in Ottawa. He took karate lessons, guitar lessons, enjoyed skate boarding, mountain biking, cycling and played in a youth ultimate league for a couple of years. He tried his hand at squash and golf a few times. He also learned downhill skiing. As much as he struggled at first with this sport, he was lucky to have met at some point a young downhill ski instructor at Mont Cascade who was remarkably patient and caring.
Her kind approach made him feel comfortable and he was then able to quickly learn the basics of downhill skiing. Once he got hooked on skiing he enjoyed skiing many weekends on the Gatineau slopes for a few winters.
As active as he was, James also enjoyed sitting comfortably to read books. He was an avid reader. He was also a fast reader. He was a huge Stephen King fan and read most of his novels during the latter part of his teens. Once he picked up a book, if he got into it, he could read right through to the end in a short time. He also read other kinds of books, such as self help books and books on how to start a real estate business. His interest in such subjects, which was a bit unusual considering his young age, gave us a glimpse of his motivation to learn new things and his drive to improve himself as a person.
James was also a huge movie fan. During his teens in Ottawa James must have seen hundreds of movies in the theatre. He loved to go to the theatre with his brother and father. He always ordered a large Coke and a larger popcorn than he needed as he knew his dad would be ready to finish it off after he had eaten his fill.
James loved all kinds of movies. He loved movies that made him laugh but he also loved action flics and dramas. The important thing for James was to sense that the movie had a story close to or connected to possible real life experiences. Such films moved him and he would really get into it. That is why he was not a big fan of the wave of Marvel and DC movies.
Again, as long as James was busy and active with fun and healthy pursuits and in the company of people he cared for, he was happy.
As a child James was not very athletic nor was he very strong or fit. Yet, when we was about 12 he became very determined to become fit and strong. He wanted to be an athlete and developed during his early teenage years an attraction for combat sports related training.
At about 13 or 14 James discovered the sport of boxing. This turned out to be the passion of his life.
He told his dad he wanted to try boxing. He had already picked the club… Beaver Boxing Club in Ottawa. On day one, as soon as he walked in there and started training, he was in love with the sport. He loved everything about the club, the intense training, the people, the coaches, the camaraderie.
Jill Perry, the head coach at the club, was a tremendous inspiration to James. They got to know each other quite well. James loved her dearly and her husband Jim. They were so kind to him and he appreciated their generosity very much.
Beaver Boxing and the people there made James feel he belonged. He was so proud when he was assigned his own locker, which was something at the time that only the most active members were lucky to have. Early on he was also able to join their youth boxing program which lead to opportunities to take part in a number of amateur boxing tournaments.
Beaver Boxing and boxing was a god send for James. He found a true passion there and it impacted every aspect of his life. Most importantly he was very healthy and fit, which was important to James and he was
surrounded by really good people, who cared for him and who he cared for.
He also loved to volunteer in the many boxing galas and events organized by the club aimed at fund raising for youth. It gave him a sense of purpose, as he enjoyed helping Jill and being part of events where he would be surrounded by his friends from the club.
His willingness to give manifested itself in other ways. He even volunteered a couple of times at Shepherds of Good Hope in Ottawa, where he joined his dad serving meals for homeless people on Friday nights at the soup kitchen.
He was very giving in general. For example, quite often, when he spotted a homeless person outside a Tim Hortons in Ottawa or when he lived in BC he would buy food for himself but he would also purchase extra food and a coffee and handed it to a homeless person as he stepped out of the restaurant.
He just had this sensitive side to him that was expressed at various times in this manner throughout the latter part of his teens and into adulthood.
At about age 16 James sustained quite a serious shoulder injury (torn labrum), which prevented him from training and competing in boxing.
This was a very difficult time for James. He had become accustomed to being so active and it seems his physical and mental wellness was tied to that. Because of his condition he could not train for quite some time so he did not spend as much time at the club. The anxiety James felt during this time was palpable.
He had surgery on his shoulder which meant he could not train for 6 months and then only could he begin training very slowly.
During this period of inactivity James was not as happy, nor as driven or motivated. Around this time he began spending more time with young people who were focused on less healthy pursuits. This was a period when his family was concerned about where he was heading.
That being said, James was remarkably resilient. He realized that the path he was on was not what he wanted and was only temporary. As he got healthier following his surgery, eventually he was able to start training again. This helped him tremendously as he again found himself regularly in the club’s amazingly healthy atmosphere.
However within a short period he realized his shoulder was not quite the same and, on top of that, his other shoulder began hurting. It made it difficult for him to train with the intensity he enjoyed.
This is when he decided to try kick boxing. Because this sport did not involve as much repetitive use of his arms and shoulders but also involved using his legs significantly, he found it was not as hard on his shoulders.
After a short time this became his new athletic pursuit. He joined the Fight and Fitness mixed martial arts club in Ottawa and dedicated himself to this new athletic pursuit. His heart was still with the Beaver Boxing club and he stayed connected to the club and the people there but he just found it easier to excel at this point in this new sport.
During those years, excluding the period he was injured, James trained with tremendous intensity and became exceptionally fit and strong. Nothing made him feel better than being able to train hard. He felt healthy and this generally impacted other aspects of his life.
From age 15 until he was 18 he also held a part time job at a local Loblaws close to where he lived and he showed good work ethic for such a young man.
Nevertheless it seems that James suffered from a lot internal anxiety during those years. As much as the healthy pursuits he engaged in helped a lot, he was wired in such a way that anxiety led him to go through episodes of personal instability.
High School was not an easy place for James. In hind site the particular schools he attended and some of the people there were not well suited to help James with his personal struggles. He was not particularly studious and suffered from attention deficit and while he did reasonably well academically in the circumstances, it was clear school was not a place James felt at ease.
He finished and graduated from high school and that was it as far as he was concerned regarding the idea of pursuing further studies.
In the year that followed his graduation James continued to train to some degree but with varying levels of commitment. His dedication was more sporadic. At the same time it seems he felt a little lost about life and friends. He tended to gravitate towards the less healthy crow he had gotten to know earlier.
During those episodes it seemed that James found it easier to feel accepted by
some of these other friends. Some of them, as many experience as young adults, were living through their own personal life challenges.
James was loyal to this group of friends as well. As mentioned earlier, what mattered to James was to feel accepted for who he was and being around people he accepted as they were.
Yet James was torn inside about this unhealthy side of his life. He showed some resilience as he always stayed connected and engaged in some level of physical activity, either in boxing or kick boxing.
After a difficult summer in 2018 James decided to make an important change in his life. He wanted to shake things up for himself. He was driven to find the right path and to lead a healthy lifestyle. In August 2018 he decided to move to Vancouver, British Columbia, where his mother and his sister Emilie lived with her life partner Rob.
At first this seemed like the right choice on his part. Upon arrival he worked in landscaping with his brother in law. He was learning a new trade. He worked hard. This was his first full time job.
He found his own place and was learning what it took to pay for rent and live on your own. He also enjoyed seeing his sister and mother on a regular basis. Now that he was earning a living, he especially enjoyed occasionally treating his mom to a nice meal at a restaurant and/ or a movie. These moments were very special to James.
He loved spending time with his family in BC. He spent a lot of time at his sister’s home. He loved having family meals or just hanging out with them.
During visits there from his dad and brother, when his entire family was there together, James would be with us all the time. Those moments were very precious to him.
In October 2018 he experienced the joy of becoming an uncle when his sister gave birth to Orlaith.
Orlaith quickly became the love of his life. He loved her dearly and showed her much attention and affection. He loved holding her in his arms and reading to her. As she became a toddler, he loved to make her laugh.
To Orlaith, James was her rock star. She would just light up as soon as he entered a room. He had an uncanny ability to make her explode in laughter and giggles, especially when he would start vigourously shadow boxing in front of her. Nobody else did that kind of stuff and she just found him so funny.
That was another amazing side of James. His sense of humour, goofiness and ability to laugh at himself was very endearing. He laughed with a child like giggle almost and had an amazing wide grin kind of smile. It was just great to be with him in such moments.
He was very handsome and had an amazing smile. There was an innocence and engaging way about him that made him very loveable. He was also a relentless teaser, especially of his siblings and mom and dad. He would go at it with such persistence that he could drive you crazy and make you laugh at the same time.
He was also very loving. Throughout his life and even as young man, James was never shy to tell his siblings and mom and dad that he loved us. And he never got tired of hearing it from us either.
During his first year in BC James learned his trade and showed strong work ethic. He was up early every morning, eager to join his crew of coworkers. He liked the physical side of the work. His strength and excellent fitness helped him a lot in this kind of work.
He joined a mixed martial arts club in Vancouver and began training, sporadically initially in 2018 and early 2019. Then he started training there with more consistency and this made him feel good.
He was doing so well that his mom and dad decided to surprise him in April 2019 and bought as a gift his first car. He was overjoyed and so proud to have his own car. It gave him the added freedom, independence and sense of responsibility which was a real plus in his life at the time.
By this time his sister had moved to Langley while he still lived in Vancouver. Having a car made a big difference to James as he could now drive there whenever he wanted, which was several days a week. He really enjoyed hanging out with his sister and the love of his life, Orlaith. For Emilie having her little brother there so often was priceless.
Around this period, unfortunately, James encountered a few new « friends » who were not positive forces for a young man like him, who struggled so much with anxiety on a consistent basis.
For them illegal drugs are part of their lifestyle. For James it gave him easier access to a misguided way to self medicate as he tried to cope with his severe anxiety. They did not know James well enough, nor care enough, to perhaps realize that this was not what James needed, particularly during the last couple of months of his life when his family was desperately trying to convince him to undergo treatment.
In September 2019 James had a car accident and his vehicle was totalled. This was a big blow to James as he lost, in his mind, a big chunk of his new found freedom and independence. He could no longer come and go as he wished to the gym, to meet friends or see his mom, sister and Orlaith as frequently. Late Fall was a difficult time for James.
By the end of 2019/ early 2020 James was increasingly struggling with anxiety. His family was very engaged to try to find the help he needed over the next few months.
Unfortunately, as beautiful and picturesque as BC is, James and his family discovered just how poor the combination of the medical and policing systems are in Vancouver when it comes to helping people suffering from substance use and mental health issues.
On more than one occasion we sought their help. It is actually scary and shocking to realize the level of individual and institutional incompetence demonstrated by police, James’ doctor and the BC health care system.
At this point James was not working anymore and was not really in a state of mind to work, although he did try to find work. However, the COVID pandemic had just started and this made it even more difficult to find work. The public health restrictions also made James feel more isolated, which did not help his situation.
By this time, in April 2020, James was dealing with severe mental health struggles and he was increasingly leaning on substance use to self medicate as his anxiety was becoming debilitating.
His family was in constant contact with him, speaking to him daily and trying to support him as best we knew how. We pleaded with him to accept treatment. He showed resistance to this but gradually he was becoming increasingly open to this prospect.
Near the end of the month of April he told his brother he would likely be ready to enter treatment at the end of May 2020. James was also thinking of returning to Ottawa in the hopes of working with his brother. We encouraged him to do so but he just wasn’t quite ready to come back as he wanted to try to make it work in BC.
On the last day of April he reconnected with a very close friend of his from his time in high school. We thought thisperson was a special and positive force in James life. This, along with the ongoing encouragement and support from his family, we think, likely would have eventually triggered James return to Ottawa.
Sadly James never got that opportunity. On May 1st 2020, as he no doubt wanted to self medicate in the manner he had been increasingly doing over the previous four months, James passed away from fentanyl poisoning. He was 20 years of age.
James’ passing has devastated his family. The fact he had been struggling so much during the last few months of his life just amplified that devastation.
Although we were worried that something like this could happen, we had taken so many steps to prepare for the moment that James would signal us that he was ready to go to treatment, that this gave us hope.
James had always been remarkably resilient during his life. Although he struggled at times with his own demons, he had an inner hunger to lead a happy and healthy life. He had shown so much resilience his entire life that we had much hope he would bounce back from this difficult period.
James life and his dreams for the future were cut short. Life will never be the same without him. As we struggle daily with the pain of his loss, we can’t help but realize the trail of love he left with us.
James loved his family and his family loved him unconditionally throughout the good and the difficult times. There are several other special people who James felt incredibly close to and who truly cared for him.
It is incredibly painful knowing we will no longer be able to tease him, hang out with him, enjoy meals with him, hug him and experience all those other life's family moments that lay ahead.
However he has left us with a ton of memories that will be with us forever. He was an incredibly caring, passionate and loving person. We miss him everyday and would do anything to have him back with us.
Loving and caring for James was an amazing privilege. He was so vibrant that the
powerful memory of him is such that it feels as though he is still with us at times.
Our young prince James, you are now our King. Watch over us. Your memory will live on through your mom, dad, brother and sister and all those who loved you and who you loved back.