Jessie, my JBird , we named you JBird because as a baby I never could keep clothes on you . You would strip naked as a JBird. All I could do was laugh ,dress you ,and in a blink you were naked again ! You were Free spirited. I loved you from the first breath you took, from the first heart beat god created in my body , watching you grow, and learn. I loved you through all the years deeper ; then anyone could of loved you . A mothers love runs deeper then words can explain ; being the first woman in your life for all your life . A love as deep as the blood that flows through your veins , a love that exists with memories ,and scarifies for your child . A mothers love of loving from a distance, tough love ; to try to help you become an independent stronger man (hardest love of all for a mother). I loved you through the colds , flu, runny noses , temper tantrums, potty training, the laughing ,the crying , the skint elbows,the joys; there was nothing you couldn’t learn to do. you came to me when your were heavy hearted , only to have me play in your hair ; while you poured out your heart to me , and ask for advice, and listening ear. You carried your heart on your sleeve, expected acceptance,loved deeper then anyone I have ever known ; even to the point where it was destructive . We had a very close unexplainable love between us ! At times you lived in a whirlwind of many emotions that you had very little control of. at times self medicating to get through the pain of the past , hurt , scars , things you just couldn’t fix . I saw a little baby grow into a handsome man . I taught you family is everything ; be true to all you hold close even if its tough love . My blue eyed baby boy . You tattooed my name on your right arm ,because I was your strength you said ! No mother/ father should have to bury their son . People claim they love you , theres NO love thats more powerful then the love of a mother or father ! Theres NO one that can or could of loved longer or more then from day one of life in my womb ! A piece of me died literally with you !!! A piece of you still breaths from with in me . My memories are flooded of 31 years of youdeep inside me . I have shared more with you besides god ;then anyone ever on this earth ! I am grateful god gave you to me because even now after your death ; you share an experience with me of a love of loss , emptiness, but filled memories of our life together as mother and son ! I will cherish you forever and beyond ! Til we are rejoined again ... butterfly kisses
