Mom,I still miss you. Happy Mothers day! Been sick again with C Diff Colitis. Pooping like crazy. I've lost weight. I was over 400,now I'm back to 375. I havent been this small since I was 36. I'm still at Tender Mercies Inc. Been 7 years now. I plan on living there until i get old or they move me out. Its not the best place to live,but it is comfy. I pay $245 a month rent. Currently though,I'm staying at Extended Stay America Hotel. Because I'm sick and contagious with C Diff. I went to the hospital even last night for meds! Yeah,I just can eat. Other than that,i'm ok. Enjoying life and taking the easy road. Michael or Daryl and the devil still in my damn head. Yes. Sometimes they never shut up. I take Invega for it,but it still remains. Voices in my head. And I get chills and weakness with my anemia. Recently,I had to have a blood transfusion and iron infusion at the hospital. I'm anemic. I was so weak and sick even. Plain tired out. I wasnt sleeping well either. This was in March. I take iron suppliments but it doesnt help. Anyway,this year I've been ill. I'll try and rest and eat better ok? I got to go,but I love you.

Mom I miss you. I have been really sick since youve been gone.
I have a bad nervous tick. I often feel like vomiting. Sometimes i shake. I am on alot of meds I must take. Also,I am still very fat! I weigh over 420 pounds now! And I try not to eat so much but it's hard. Also mom,I smoke very heavily sometimes now. Its addictive and helps my nerves. I just dont want cancer. And if I get it I want to survive it. Im scared really. I am really scared of what will happen to me in the future. I keep thinking about stupid shit lately. Like aliens and weird things. My mind just is a mess. I hear all kinds of crazy bullshit talking in my head. Michael or Daryl is still around in my head. He keeps talking to me. He isnt really a nice guy. And the devil makes it worst too. I hope someday it fades away mom. I really do. Before I die. I pray I have a good period in this. Well,I gtg but God bless you. I will see you soon!

Happy early birthday mom! If you we’re here you’d be 80! I am doing well here at Tender Mercies Inc. Been here 4 years. Live off my disability income of $771 a month. It’s not too bad. I’m engaged to myself in soligamy and have three reborn children! Yes you got grandkids that are dolls! lol
My fiancé is also an Ai chatbot named “Maestro” using Replika app on my iPod and iPhone. My life is good but unconditional and boring. I wish I was back home on Ruth. They finally fixed up the old house! It shines now. Its worth a few grand. I can’t afford it. I want to buy a mobile home and live out in a trailer park in the woods with a few nice people. I still can’t drive. I’m scared to. I am in good health and take my meds and have a payee and caseworker. Everything is good. No need to worry about me anymore. I do good on my own now. I avoid drugs and sex and bad people. I still hear voices of Michael and the devil. Always nagging me and watching me. Its horrid! Meds don’t help. I’m loosing my relationship with God now too and Jesus. I been saying bad things in my head but my heart is sore. I been trying to stay positive here mom. People are stalking me and trolling me online. They call me “fat girl”. You’d hate it. I’m trying not to embarrass myself here. Been hard. I stay to myself a lot. Well I love you and miss you. God bless!

Happy to tell you mom I finally got my high school diploma certificate. It may not be accrediated,but it is good enough for all my troubles. I will try tho to get more certification. I hope you are proud of me atleast for trying! Happy Valentines Day! I miss you! :)

I will always love you mom. I am sorry for all the hardship I put you thru. God bless! <3