My dear Joanne, I hope the Banquet Table is set, your loved ones in their chairs, and your God and his heavenly angels are there celebrating your Birthday. Today is our birthday and I have managed these birthdays without you for four years. I cannot see the candles, I cannot hear the singing, and I cannot feel the happiness that usually comes with a birthday celebration. We never spent one birthday without each other until you went home with your Savior. I am happy for you that your struggle is over, your pain is gone, and your new life has given you the peace you so dearly deserved.
Today, I will go to church and then settle in for the dropping of the Times Square symbol of the coming of another year. Life does go on, there is no choice. I am doing the best I can, you know my struggles. I have had a busy year volunteering at church, volunteering at an animal rescue, teaching first graders their religion, contributing to my writing group's new book, and waiting for my Heavenly Father to tell me it's time. For now, I am busy here trying to do what is expected of me as a Christian, a Mother, and as a friend. Today, I will also remember the happy times you and I spent together. The silly, funny, and sometimes inappropriate things we did that caused us to choke laughing. Those are the things that will make my birthday special. My girls will add their love and happiness and birthday specialties to make my birthday truly happy despite your absence. Knowing we will be together again is what helps me patiently wait until my Heavenly Father calls for me.
For now, I wish you a very happy birthday as you see the candles lit, hear the heavenly angels sing their hymns, and laugh as only you can put choking and laughter in one long breath. Too funny. I love you so much, a truly and deeply. Judy
