To my dearest big brother Joey, I miss you so much its physically hurts my heart and soul :'( all I have now is the beautiful memories we shared, I can't even put it into words of how much u mean to me, you were one of my greatest blessings ever, I cherished you more then you ever knew, you never ever let me down, always there even when we were miles apart, you always made sure that I knew how much you loved me, weather it was a hug, phone call, a letter or card when we lived far apart or just a simple I love you before we would hang up the phone after talking for hours on the phone talking about life or just to shoot the shit, God gave me you for a brother for a reason and I always have thanked him for that! We didnt fight very often cuz its not how we were, there was always gut crushing laughter when we were together and thats what I miss the most :-) the day I lost u was very hard but knowing that you are never coming back is something that I cant even wrap my head around :-( Joey im asking u to plz help me walk threw this hell called grief, I never new what hell was till u left, im so sad all the time, my heart feels forever broken and I need u to let me know that its ok to take the next of many steps of this grief cuz I feel like if I take the next step in trying to heal means im taking a step further away from you and that scares the hell out of me, if that makes any sense? idk? Thats just the only was I can explain it I guess. I know I will never stop missing or loving you EVER!! I Love you to heaven and back and untill my time here on earth is done ill be missing you and ill see you when the gates of heaven open up for me :-)
