Less than two weeks ago I attended a beautiful wake in Portland, Oregon for Jerry McGinn, husband of John's sister, Monica. It was a magical event full of tears and laughter. As we celebrated Jerry's life, I couldn't help but reflect on John. 

John's family is a close one, and being with them was very special, but it was also difficult because John wasn't there. He was always such a presence. Interestingly, as I watched brother Charlie chat in an animated way with someone (can't remember who) on Monica's back deck, I saw John in Charlie's mannerisms, humor and style. It drew tears but was lovely. I also see John all the time in our children. They are constant reminders of how caring, loving, and so damn much fun he was.

Tomorrow it will be three years since John left us--physically. His spirit and love--and their reflection in his family--continue to give me strength. Tomorrow raise a glass with me to John. He is missed.

Last weekend, our family (Alice, Cameron, Emmett, and Forrest; Jack and Sophia; Curt, Emily, and Griffin; and I) traveled to Fontana Lake in the far western mountains of North Carolina to spread John's ashes in a spot in the Great Smoky Mountains that we loved. We vacationed in the area, discovering the spot when the kids were young, in 1995. There's a roaring creek and peaceful woods. I still remember John shouting to the kids, "only go in up to your knees!"  Of course, they got thoroughly soaked. We were so happy there. John and I returned alone in 2014. It's a magical spot.

The weekend was one of strong emotions --joy at being together to celebrate John's life and love, and of missing him and his fun-loving nature intensely. But we felt his love. After a rainy Saturday,  Sunday morning arrived sunny and warm.  We decided that John must have had something to do with that. So on April 11, 6 months after he left us, we hiked to the spot, spread his ashes, and cried. 

My sister, Jo, had sent me a poem earlier, the last few lines spoke to us:

Love doesn't die, people do.
So, when all that is left of me is love,
Give me away.

Rest in peace, my love.

John Joseph Wright, age 68, died on October 11 at his home in Morganton, NC.  Born in Silver Spring, MD, he resided in Chesapeake Beach, MD most of his adult life, where he raised his family. During his 32-year career with the Department of Defense, John was consistently recognized for outstanding performance.

            John retired to the mountains of North Carolina in 2007 to fulfill his dream of creating a sustainable mountain farm. With wife Rita he developed extensive gardens, raised hops for local breweries, volunteered with the Marshall Native Gardens and the Madison County Library, and entertained a constant stream of family and friends, to whom he was affectionately known as “The Legend.” John’s greatest joys were watching his children develop into exceptional adults, holding each new grandson, and enjoying the mountain view from his porch at “Shangri-la” as he sipped an evening “medicinal.”

            John was preceded in death by his parents, Jack and Kathleen Wright, and brother Herbie. He is survived by his wife, Rita Pelczar, daughter, Alice Wright (Cameron Gokee), sons Jack Wright (Sophia Reini), and Curtis Wright (Emily); grandsons Emmett and Forrest Gokee, and Griffin Wright; and eight loving siblings George (Pat), Anne (Ken), Charlie (Kathy), Martha (Gary), Mary (Rocky), Katie (Greg), Monica (Jerry) and Maureen (Joe). He will be missed by a large extended family and many wonderful friends.

            In lieu of flowers, gifts of condolence may be sent to Burke County Hospice (www.burkehospice.org.) or Mann Food Bank in Asheville, NC (www.mannafoodbank.org).