It is with profound sadness that the family of Kathleen Vasconcelos announces her passing at the age of 79. After a brief illness, she died peacefully on August 14, 2023 surrounded by her children.

Kathleen was born on November 2, 1943, to William and Anastasia Ging in Brooklyn, New York. She was an only child who grew up surrounded by a large and loving Irish Catholic family. She would retain her Brooklyn accent, proudly, for the rest of her life.

Kathleen was a gifted student and was always in trouble for talking in class. After graduating from Saint Francis Xavier Academy in 1961, she went on to study Early Childhood Education at St. Joseph’s College in Brooklyn, New York. Her graduation in 1965 kicked off a 55-year career in education. 

In her time as an educator, Kathleen was tenured with the New York City Board of Education and the Lakewood (NJ) Public School District. She earned her Masters in Education from Georgian Court College in Lakewood, NJ, and took great pride in her dissertation, “Reaching and Teaching Teens with Attachment Disorder.” She started her career as a kindergarten teacher in a New York City public school and retired as the vice principal of a high school for pregnant and parenting teens in Monmouth County, New Jersey. In between she did everything from managing a daycare in Trump Village to developing and running a vocational skills program in two different long-term psychiatric facilities. She had a particular love for working with developmentally disabled children and adolescents with emotional and behavioral challenges. Through it all “Mrs. V,” as she was often known, remained steadfast in her belief of the power and importance of education, the gift of learning, and the importance of centering it all on the student. She built a remarkable network of friends and colleagues whom, even in retirement, she talked to daily and met with frequently for extended lunches and dinners.

In 1967, Kathleen met the love of her life, Conrad, when they both worked at the Angel Guardian Home in Brooklyn. He was a social worker and extreme introvert, she was a summer camp counselor who was described to him as “A nice girl but she talks too much” – it was love at first sight. They married on August 3, 1968, and went on to have three children to whom they dedicated their lives. 

In 1972, Kathleen and Conrad built a house in Lakewood, NJ where they stayed for the rest of their married life. Their home was a place where the door was always open (and, frustratingly to their children, usually unlocked!). Truly all were welcome, in addition to their children there was often another family member or friend living in the home for an extended period of time. The linen closet overflowed with towels and bed sheets for anyone who needed a place to stay for the night. Holiday dinners included friends, family, and an open invitation to anyone else who had nowhere to go. Kathleen loved to prepare meals from gourmet magazines, set an immaculate table, and decorated for every single holiday. Each spring she would set out ivy geraniums on the front steps and she always kept cookies in the cabinet for her grandchildren. She remained living in their home for 50 years until she moved in with her daughter and son-in-law in Toms River, NJ.

Kathleen was the living embodiment of the expression “A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.” She made lifelong friends everywhere she went including but not limited to: the labor and delivery floor when she was giving birth to her son, hair salon, doctor’s office, and local deli. So extensive was her network of friends she once ran into someone she knew on the streets of Galway, Ireland. If you came to repair her HVAC she would know your whole life story and then send you off with a drink, straw, and napkin. She loved talking to people and they loved her in kind.

She was remarkable in her ability to see the best in absolutely everyone. She would rarely, if ever, rise to anger, never held a grudge, and believed in always keeping the peace with people in your life. She lived this way with intention and always repeated “life is too short” for anything but love. And it would turn out she was right, despite spanning nearly 80 years her life was too short for those who knew and loved her.

Kathleen had so much more left to give. She loved life, children, reading, going out to eat, peonies, an ocean view, getting her nails done, murder mysteries, unsweetened ice tea, family vacations, the New York Times Book Review, Thanksgiving, and talking on the phone. She never left the house without wearing lipstick, she ordered dessert at every meal, and she always wanted to hear about your day (no matter who you were). She was happiest when she was with her children and, in particular, her grandchildren.

The best way to honor her life is to take time for a cup of tea, have a chat, and go out and love others openly, joyfully, and without prejudice.

Kathleen is reunited in heaven with her beloved parents, husband, and her daughter Patricia (born still).

Left to treasure her memory are her children Joseph (and his wife Jennifer) Vasconcelos, Anne Marie Vasconcelos, and Janine (and her husband Richard) Speiser. Her boundless love will live on in her adored grandchildren Lila (13), William (7), Wyatt (4), Conrad (3), and Harry (due October 2023).

She also leaves behind an extended network of family and friends who were forever changed by the light she brought into their lives.