KEN BARRY DYCHES
DECEMBER 12, 1938 – DECEMBER 29, 2010
We knew him as Barry, though he was Ken Barry Dyches. He took the bricks, stones and the politics housed inside two major health care corporations, a state mental health hospital, and a state hospital association and created what no others have been able to accomplish. He exemplified the words “we care about you.” They were not only words, they were deeds done for those who cared for others and doing the business of their organizations. Barry made peoples life better who worked in these organizations. His primary aim was to make sure the staffs were equipped with the knowledge and tools needed to provide the element of their business, “caring for the ill or less fortunate.” He was the “go to man” when something required special attention or troubled hospitals. He took special care to activities such as an often needed promotion, recognition of outstanding employees, a vacation or paycheck given incorrectly, improper justice taken on an employee, legal action taken against the hospitals, or construction issues. He humanized the corporations. Barry had the ability to inspire others to further heights of success. I believe he helped author in practice the organizational phrase, “how can I help you do your job better.”
The eldest of two sons, Barry and Fred Dennis Dyches were born to Kenelm O. Dyches and Sybil Nancy Smith Dyches in Long Beach, California. Barry’s destinations included high school in Williston, South Carolina, undergraduate school at Clemson University, where he was also a member of the Clemson Tiger Marching Band, serving two service terms (9 years) for his country as a naval officer, graduate degree from Georgetown University in health care administration, plus he received his most challenging and rewarding accomplishments for one of the most sought after state and federal insurance certification in Risk Management.
He ended his military service after serving two terms of service during the Vietnam War as a Lt. Commander with numerous awards that included a National Defense Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, Republic of Vietnam Campaign Medal, both a Navy Commendation Medal with Combat and a Gold Star. Always a leader within the organizations he continued to be recognized for his abilities to accomplish corporate goals and for his outstanding performance serving others. Awards were numerous and too many to list, but most notable were hospital administrator of year twice consecutively, a President’s Award from two different corporate organizations. Awards were never far from Barry because he did his work with upmost professionalism and never forgetting to respect and care for others. His work was a major part of his life, but no matter what he tackled in life he finished the work as an academy award winner.
The most memorable trait was his convictions. He stood by them even when they cost him his job. He knew what he was about, and he knew all facets of hospital operations for acute, psychiatric, and nursing. Barry was a guiding light that created an environment for others to enjoy what they were hired to do “caring for others”. He radiated a gift for caring and humanized corporate life. He was seen by his co-workers for honesty, forthrightness, and behaving always with southern charm and manners.
Barry always had time for his family, and he made sure people knew his success was due to the love of his life, and life devoted partner Donald Trisdale who he adored for 38 years. A responsible member of the community, often doing community service, he became a Court Appointed Special Advocate (C.A.S.A.). After several years of seeing children left behind, he and Donald adopted Harlen James Trisdale. His belief was not to leave no child or anyone behind. He always said before it became a national slogan, “These children should not be left to the courts or to social services”. Again, his convictions of being a good, wholesome, and honest person always gave him direction that led to success. His faith and religious teachings were a critical thread of his life. Barry’s beliefs withstood the most difficult and dark periods of his life that included rejection from so call friends, some co-workers, and family because of his lifestyle. Barry stayed the course with sincere and courageous demeanor. He gave many much courage to exercise their rights. He faced each battle with dignity and strength, notwithstanding the last fierce battle facing the unexpected, secretive monster of metastasis melanoma cancer. A struggle endured, battle plans laid, and he fought this battle like a “gentleman and officer.” What bravery showed for so many?
Often seen as serious, Barry knew how to enjoy life away from work. He soaked himself with the more simple smaller things life offered. Being home each night, intimate dinners, or having a business lunch with co-workers, plus making sure the garden is pristine, along with the sidewalk and curb. His passion for setting and watching hummingbirds and his Koi fish along with listening to his favorite music renewed his energy to start a new dawn with vigor and positive thinking. Barry loved his dogs, and were as part of his family as his love ones. He welcomed and accepted all walks of life, and shared life events with people from all parts of the globe. His travels with the family in the motor home and flying with Donald brought him into contact with lifelong friends. He was an individual everyone could trust with their most inner secrets. His love for life beamed brightly through his beautiful hazel blue eyes.
Barry was always grateful for what he achieved, and honored to have the love, and respect of so many. His relationships with co-workers and friends are many and it would be a wonderful wish to list those so dear to him, unfortunately, the list would be never ending. However, a group must be recognized; the staff at Windsor Gardens Hospital Los Angeles, a SnF hospital. Barry was extremely proud of the way they took care of all patients. He got to see it firsthand. “Mr. Barry” often remarked “Miracles do happen at Windsor Garden”. “Mr. Barry”, and my family will always be eternal grateful for your love, and care given to your patients, including Mr. Barry and his partner Donald. We were at HOME. Rest assured, the family believed we were walking among angels of love.
We are grateful today to the guest and those not able to attend for the love shown to Barry over the years, especially the last few weeks. Your support touched us in a way that will never be forgotten. God Bless and may peace be with you.
For those who would like to know more about Barry’s journey with melanoma and/or to offer a donation in his memory, either visit the following two websites:
www.aimatmelanoma.org/aim-for-action/memorial-wall/1596.html
and
www.saintjamesla.org (Please indicate in memory of Barry Dyches)
Survived by:
Husband and Soul Mate: Donald J. Trisdale
Son: Harlen J. Trisdale
Mother: Sibyl Nancy (Smith) Dyches. Deceased, May 2014
Brother: Fred Dennis Dyches and wife Josephine (Smith) Dyches
Nieces: Tanya Marie (Dyches) Singler , Amy Michelle (Dyches) Ryan, her husband Craig, and Christy Carol Dyches
Nephew: Matthew Singler (Deceased 2019)
Aunt: Ann Dyches (Deceased 2012)
Pet: Misty (Deceased January 29, 2016)