Missing you on your birthday dad.

Today would have been such a special day 
But now it brings sadness and sorrow,
If we could just share one more day
If there could be one more tomorrow.

But birthdays are a time of reflection
To look over a year that has passed,
And I can't believe another years gone by
The time, it goes so fast.

But memories of more happier times
Are in my heart to stay,
I'll treasure each and every one
Till we meet again some day.

So I'll say goodbye for now
And blow a kiss to heaven above,
To wish you a happy birthday dad
And send you my all love.

Thinking of you today and always.

You are forever in my heart.
                                    

Today would be dad's 84th birthday.  I can hear him say  "well, I only got another 16 years left!"  Sure do wish that was true!

I really miss him, his wisdom, his humour and his love.

Always in my thoughts and heart.

In loving memory of our dear husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather.

Sad and sudden was the call
So dearly loved by one and all
His memory is as sweet today
As in the hour he passed away
  
Loved beyond words
Missed beyond measure


Viviane and families      

When I think of the love that I saw in your eyes,
A fatherly love, given without compromise.
I recall many times that you stood by my side,
And encouraged me with great advice and pride.

Your voice was confident, firm and yet fair,
Always speaking with truth, tenderness and care.
The power and might of your hands was so sure,
I knew there was nothing you couldn't endure.

It's true, a few others provided insight,
But, you laid the foundation that kept me upright.
To me you were the greatest of men on this earth,
Even though you were not Royal, by stature or birth.

You were a man of great dignity, honor and strength.
Your merits were noble, and of admirable length.
You  were far greater than all other men that I know,
You were my Dad, my mentor, my friend and my hero.

I miss you dad and in my heart you will always be!

I have felt guilt at not responding sooner to my friend's website memorial. It is a privilege to share one of my experiences, thoughts and what he has meant to me. After collecting testimonials from numerous family members, I wrote the eulogy for my mother's funeral service. It was, without a doubt the most difficult thing I have had to do.This testimonial to my friend is also difficult.

By marriage, Laurie became my bother in law. Had we met outside the family, I know we would still have been great friends. He treated people with respect. A man with a warm heart and a remarkable sense of humor. It was fun being around him. You never knew what was coming. To the point where you even questioned or mistrusted him. Always trying to "pull your leg."

During the work stages of our lives we may have met once or twice a year, usually during the summer months or at a family reunion. The visits no matter how short were special. I know we enjoyed each other's company. The ladies in the kitchen and the men in the living room. He with his glass of rye and water, usually the Blue Jays on TV (no sound) or the TV stock market ticker tape and we'd discuss work, golf, politics and the stock market. He is the reason for my brief stock market adventure.

We both loved golfing. Every year, he returned from Arizona with assortment of clubs and putters that he would try to sell. Always bartering! He even tried to sell me that white '63 Cadillac! In Phoenix, he would invite me to golf on his team for their resort tournament. They'd all tease him about bringing in a "ringer." He laugh and say, "I didn't even know he golfed." He loved to be one up on you!

The best prank was at the Red Deer Golf & Country Club. I was introduced to his his two regular golf buddies as "Father Joly from the Pincher Creek" diocese. He winks, I catch on and away we go! We proceed to the tee box. All is quite formal. Of course Laurie is pushing it, "Father, you're third up. "I hope the Good Lord has a good round for you." Cec and Don are looking at each other and Laurie has that dumb look. During the next four hours, a lot of the conversation has to do with my "calling," the parishioners and my diocese. In  the meantime Laurie is the only one cursing then asking for forgiveness, "sorry Father."

It all came to an end on the 17th hole. After my second putt, I let out the "F" bomb. Dumbfounded, dead silence and looking at each other! Then Laurie let out a burst of laughter. Explains that I am really Viv's brother from Vernon. They called him every name in the book and could have killed him.We all had a good laugh at the watering hole. Laurie gloating, he a had pulled off another one!

I still have unfinished business with my friend. I look forward to the Pinnacle Peak and Cave Creek Golf Course walk.

He will always be in my life. Always in my heart and I am left with fond memories.

The song "Far Banks of Jordan" by June Carter and Johnny Cash is a tribute  to my sister Vivian and her husband Laurie. 

Today would mark my dad's 83rd birthday. I have been walking around with a lump in my throat all day. I miss him so much!  I miss that I couldn't call him up today and wish him a Happy Birthday and... to just hear his voice again. 

I thought of his hilarious money clip, which was a recycled elastic band that came from a bundle of mail or fresh vegetables! I can visualize how he would get a chuckle each and every time he pulled it out of his pocket. It didn't matter how many times I teased him that I was going to buy him a real money clip, I would get the same answer, "why, what's wrong with this one? I like it!"

Happy Birthday pops! And every time I take an elastic band off my onions, I think of you, and I too get a chuckle!

   As-Salamu Alaykum! Since I was a toddler, Grandpa would make jokes like "well, I reckon I'll be kicking the bucket any time now," with a little grin on his face. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a year since he actually kicked it...and boy, did he ever give it a whack. He drop-kicked that bucket right into a field goal; it totally caught us all off guard. It feels like only last week we were trying to help him work that universal remote. In retrospect, I suppose it was for the best that he left quick...he never would have wanted to be a frail, bedridden old man on his deathbed for days. He would have hated to put us through long, drawn-out suffering, and so he did it quick, hole-in-one.

   I never truly realized how important he was as a role model for me until he was gone. He truly was the last of a dying breed of men who value Honour, Integrity and Discipline. I can only strive to have the same great qualities that he did. To be honest, the first thing that came to my mind when he passed away was "damn, I don’t work hard enough."  Let me elaborate…the kind of labour I find difficult pales in comparison to sweating my butt off in some desert overseas on a giant piece of metal hot enough to fry an egg. (Keep in mind Grandpa actually did get fried pretty bad at one point, I might add. Apparently, skin-grafts suck.) Or freezing my butt off in the arctic where the sun literally don’t shine, and it’s “colder than a well-digger’s ass.” So cold, your pee would freeze before it hit the ground! But at least then he was able to pee himself an escape pole when the rig caught fire. Well, at least that’s what he had me believe. He might have been pulling my leg, but I like to believe it was true. Like the time he was fighting off Indians and an arrow narrowly missed his side, leaving a scar. But I digress. Yeah, I figured I needed to work harder; on my days off I would visit him and Grandma and all he would say is “day off? What in the hell is that?!” When a man like him could support a family of seven I should at least be able to support myself.

   Whenever people have asked me if I believe in God, I often told them that if God did exist, he would be a lot like my Grandpa. Not to sound self-righteous of course, but he always demonstrated to me the things I would expect from a superior being: humility regardless of power, love for all of his children, dedication to his resolve, trustworthiness and his ever striving to secure a comfortable future. Not anger, jealousy, or vengefulness that is so often portrayed by classic gods. Grandpa didn’t ask much from people. He did things on his own and for his family. And he worked on Sundays.

   The hardest part for me has been watching the rest of my family grieve, Grandma in particular. She is such a strong woman and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t recognize what a blessing it is to have her in my life. Let’s face it…people need each other, and that’s that. So it can be hard when someone leaves us, but hey, at least the rest of us are still here! I am glad that as a family we can stick it out together, some people aren’t fortunate enough to have that. Of course, I think about Grandpa all the time. When I see old men that look like him when I’m out and about I double take, or stare at them until they get freaked out. Whenever I open his old shaving kit I get a whiff of his musky essence and it brings me to tears (so I save money on shaving cream). To me, Grandpa lives on in many simple, common things like coffee, cinnamon gum, dogs and shoehorns. These cherished memories and the legacy he left for us are something we can all live by, to carry on the torch he lit. You taught me well Grandpa, and for that I thank you. So as a tribute to your memory, here’s a Laurieism limerick you made me recite:

            “In the days of old, when the west was young, we barred our doors with a wagon tongue.  ‘Cause the times was hard, and the red-skins mocked, and we said our prayers with a shotgun cocked.”                                 - Laurie Spendiff

See? I remembered it! Also, here is a good song I dedicate to you, Grandpa. I know you didn’t listen to much Hip-Hop, but I do.

                                                 Love you and miss you, Adios
                                                             - Logan

I have been putting this off for to long and thought it was about time to write something. As im sure alot of you know Grandma was nice enough to take me in and let me live at her place (spoiling the crap out of me) and since I am here everyday I cant help but think about Grandpa all the time, and all the memories. I will never forget when he used to take me down to the park to golf, or the day I was granted the privilage of the special hand shake.

Grandpa was the first person close to me that passed away, and my biggest regret in life was not coming to visit him enough, I got caught up in being a kid and the teenage life I forgot about the more important things like family, its just unfortunate I had to learn it the hardest way possible. Now I get to see my grandma everyday and try to see my family as much as possible, and will always remember to not make that same mistake again.

This morning I was running and started to laugh as I thought of some of the stories about dad. How do we not realize the learning opportunities that parents have until we have children of our own?

When I was younger and competing in track and field for the City, I was so excited that mom and dad were coming to watch me run.  Dad took me aside and gave me a positive pep talk; stay focused, stay in your lane and run through the finish line!

On the very first run I came in second and my spirit was crushed. Dad was there at the finish line, he took me aside and gave me another little pep talk. As I remember, it was all about attitude and the lousy one that I had at that moment!  He wasn't one to spare words and if you needed a kick in the butt, he was the one to give it to you!  I really appreciate his words of advice, although at the time I didn't think he was so supportive!! But, he was right...I did go on to win some,  and to lose some over the next few years but I tried my best to be gracious and humble and make him proud. He didn't care whether I won or not, it was how I acted that he cared most about...."When you lose say little and when you win say less!"  He was a great character builder and an example of staying true to who you are.

We can all use a little character building experiences in our lives!

I had an autograph book when I was 12 years old and asked dad to write something in it for me.  I handed him a pen with my book and he immediately wrote down this little poem and handed it back to me.  After I read it, he smiled   and said, "Now don't ever forget what I said you hear."  And I didn't.  Many times through the ups and downs of my life, true to his word, he was alway there listening, in confidence, and offering whatever advise he could.  He was never judgemental and you could trust him wholeheartedly to keep your deepest of secrets.  

I've heard that a man must be a provider, protector, leader and a teacher to his children.  My dad excemplified all of this and so much more. He has taught me so much good and I'm so thankful that my sons Logan and Conor got to know him, learn from him and see, first hand, the true measure of what a man should be.

To my daughter,

"In your travels far and wide.
When skies are gray and things seem bad."

"Forget your troubles and foolish pride. 
Don't be afraid to talk to dad."

                                                   - Dad  (1968)

 

As I sit in front of my computer trying to put into words what you meant to me Dad....I am having a very hard time to find the right ones.  There are so many memories, when ever I asked how you were, you would always say "Grrreat"  with a little chuckle.  I still hear that chuckle every time I think about you.  I could not have asked for a more wonderful Father in Law.  Always there to lend an ear and give advice.  Always loving, giving and caring.  I miss you every day Dad. 

P.S. I won't tell anyone about the first time I met you .

Love and Miss you

Sharon    

I was with my father a while back, when he looked at me a little funny and said, “you have definitely picked up some of the Alberta sayings”. I must of looked at him a little funny as he repeated back to me, “You betcha!”  “super” and “110%”. I knew exactly where it came from. I smiled and thought to myself I hope more than just a few of Laurie’s sayings had rubbed off on me. Like his hard work ethic and his enormous love for his wife. His quiet joy he radiated when his children and grandchildren were around. His patience to tolerate a loud room, and of course his endless sense of humor. I find myself often asking, what would Laurie do, or how would he handle this.

I’ll always miss the dinners and conversations. The small projects that we would tackle, with that “get r done” attitude, the laughs, the jokes and our front room discussions of what was going on in the world.

So many moments throughout the day you are remembered, with abundant memories and emotions, but everyone ends with a smile on my face and for this, I thank you!

I’m still working on the hand shake and I promise to have it right when we meet again!

In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That no one could ever fill

It broke my heart to lose you
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you
The day God took you home

Things will never be the same
And although it hurts so bad
I will smile whenever I hear your name
And be proud you were my Dad.


Forever in my heart.  

Dad,

We'll always remember
that special smile,
that caring heart,
that warm embrace,
you always gave us.
You being there
for Mom and us
through good and bad times,
no matter what.
We'll always remember
you Dad because there will never be another one to replace you in our hearts, and the love we will always
have for you.

I always looked forward to the Joly reunions as it was there I was able to spend time with Uncle Laurie.  We would chat about a variety of topics including golf and and the numerous "spare" putters he had in the basement because they "just didn't work correctly." 

We often chatted about the stock market and I am certain he was probably onto me that I really had no idea or hot tips, but was simply reiterating his comments from prior in the conversation.  Even though, he made me feel that just perhaps I did know something about the topic.

He always had a witty comment about current events, the oil patch or even others at the reunion, but he was always positive and true treat to visit with. 

One of the funniest times I remember Uncle Laurie was when he took Gale and I golfing with him.  Although I was bad...Gale was worse!  He was patient with both of us and did't offer any tips or "how to" suggestions about the game...UNTIL GALE asked...

Here is how it went after Gale hit her drive less than 20 yards....

GALE: Dad what do you think is wrong?

Uncle Laurie: Well Gale...you are too close to the ball.

GALE: Oh?  You mean during my set up?

Uncle Lauire...NO Gale ... AFTER you hit the ball!!

I will never forget that and have often tired the line on others....Perhaps given my lack of his special delivery, it usually doesn't get the same "hit the ground laughing" response it did when it was born.

I miss his deafness...I miss him asking "what was that" ... before the initial sentence was even completed.  I miss his uniquie mans-man handshake and the way that little finger always lined up oddly perfect in my hand.

You truly were my favorite Uncle and I will cherish your memories for eternity

Darryl Bodnar

I remember trying to beat grandpa at Wheel of Fortune... I still think sometimes he let me win. I even got a handheld game to practice on... when I did lose, he didn't make it seem like it at all, with that big grin of his... I'd just crawl up on his lap (or sit on the floor next to him when I got too big for his lap) and we would commence round two, then three as we shared a bowl of popcorn.

One of my favorite things about him was how funny he was... poor grandma would say something, he'd give a response that would get her a little riled up, then when she had her back turned, he'd sit there and chuckle to himself... you all know that look I'm remembering... I'll never forget it.

I miss watching him teach people how to give him a handshake... I miss his sense of humor... I miss his smile... I miss listening to him talk about the stock market, even though most of the time I had no clue what he was talking about... I miss trying to count the number of times he shook the pepper shaker over his eggs... I miss hearing "rouse" everytime someone was in his chair... I miss playing Connect 4 with him... and sometimes getting to win... 

We had the best grandpa ever... Love you lots, miss you more... xoxoxo

When I was younger, I thought Grandpa was too quiet. To be honest, he kinda scared me a little bit. I wasn't too sure if he was upset, or if he was watching me like a hawk, or something like that. He'd mostly be in the living room, pretty near immobile, not saying much of anything. I gathered that he thought the kids should do likewise. Sure, he'd respond if you asked him a question (usually with a 1 - 3 word reply), or he'd occasionally crack a smile when one of his kids was ribbing him around the dinner table, but otherwise you weren't getting much. It was like a never ending game of poker.

I suppose I thought that there was not much going on there, since the popular culture I was raised in put a large premium on constant displays of intelligence with speeches and degrees and on and on. The more words you say, and the less concrete meaning they have, you must be some kinda profound genius, right?

I'll never forget sitting in Phoenix in the living room while Grandpa watched tv. He'd queue up his favorite game shows and park it for a serious amount of time. And the guy seemed to know EVERY answer to every question. Silly stuff and serious stuff and history questions and art questions and visual puzzles and whatever. How the heck did this guy know all this stuff? He never talked! There's actually a scene in the movie Diner with the Kevin Bacon character that is a lot like this, and always reminds me of Grandpa.

And after I grew up a bit and went out into the world and found that blowhards are in a lot more abundance than is commensurate with their usefulness, it struck me that Grandpa was one of the last few men I knew personally that embodied the good old strong and silent type. The one who's not so hung up on what every Joe Blow thinks of him, and who lets his actions speak louder than words, and who cultivates knowledge for its own sake, because it is beautiful and true and no human can get very far without it... not because he's looking for an honorary award from the worshippers of every passing fad under the sun. I'm guessing this is why Grandpa liked John Wayne so much.

He gave this gift to all his children and grandchildren, I think, to be an example. The boys for a time-tested method of how to act honorably and seriously, and the girls for a pretty high standard to hold their future suitors to. I never mentioned this to him while he was alive, figuring he'd probably just chuckle and smile that wry smile of his and pity me for feeling the need to state something that was so obvious.

I remember when I was 13 years old and dad taught me how to play golf. He taught me how to hook, draw, fade and slice the ball. I think dad's favorite shot was a slice. He played that shot for the next 38 years,even when he was chipping!

Dad and I always played in tournaments together, it meant so much to me. (As it turned out, dad was a pretty good teacher.)  I remember I was in a play-off in the Central Alberta Juniour Tournament and I asked my dad to caddy for me. I was more nervous than "Mike Tyson in a spelling bee", as my dad would put it. Dad never got excited about anything, he was always the voice of reason and stayed calm. And, with his guidance I won the tournament. It was a proud momemt for both of us. I sure miss playing golf with him.

When we would get together, he would always ask how work was going, if I had a bad a week, I would get rambling probably longer than necessary. I will never forget the one time he asked me,I complained for about 20 minutes. Dad waited and listened and when I was finished, he looked at me and said, "well, this is was the only time that I am glad to be deaf!".... I still laugh about that.

I recently found out that as a baby, I used to sleep in a drawer (apparently there was a shortage of beds in our trailer). This explains a lot to me now. I am convinced that they must have shut the drawer and cut off the oxygen supply, that would explain why I had such a hard time reading and spelling in school!

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you dad. I am very grateful for the times we had together and so thankful that we still have your wonderful wife, and our mom.

Love and miss you,

Nels

In a land, and time, far far away (Estevan 1962ish), I knew of him….but was always more interested in his daughter. However it was through my dad, who worked alongside Laurie even as they became good and respectful friends, that I often heard stories. While I understand that Laurie enjoyed a good hunt, my dad’s favorite sport was talking. So once when on a shoot together, and probably after a lot of blah blah blah from my dad, Laurie finally said “it’s time to get some lead in the air.” My dad would always laugh telling that story, and also when repeating his favorite Laurieism “I buy them books and I buy them books ,but all they ever do is eat the covers off 'em.”

I am now honored to tell my own stories about the old guy. There is no doubting the steely, yet honest, intenseness he could bring to a situation. But most people will always remember, as I do, the many laughs we shared together.

My most enduring memories will likely come from the blessing Judy and I received by taking a couple of cruises together with Laurie and Viviane. It was the 14-16 hours per day we spent in each other’s company (we didn’t sleep together but, besides that, if I was going to be with Judy it meant I was with the old folks) that I grew in admiration of pops-in-law. Breakfast, lunch, dress-up dinners, desserts, shows, tours,….and all the other daily ship and off-ship happenings.

Sure, I am impressed by his “classic”, “good-ol-days” traits – hard worker, good money manager, honest. But more impressed I was by Laurie’s relational qualities. He easily conversed with taxi drivers, and waiters, and room stewards, and tour guides, and fellow travelers. He asked good questions and then listened (the best he could) with interest. He held the hand of his 50+ year bride, always making sure she was okay. He continually expressed “I love you” to Judy, without ever actually saying it (true to his era). And he always enjoyed my antics, often directed at him. Everybody liked, and seemed to get a kick out of him.

Legacy – “anything handed down from the past”. One of the most common legacy gifts is financial. The most useful legacy might be a model of personal integrity.

To me, the Legacy of my Father-in-Law Spendiff is that he finished well. There was no pomp. Mistakes of the past were overcome by good choices. And it is the good stories that others, even the single path-crossers, will share about him. Of course, I am a better man and person because of knowing him. But mostly, his legacy, and memory, will live on by evidence in the loving tear-filled eyes of my wife Judy.

On a beautiful day in September of 2011, mom, Gale and I were honored to be invited to dinner at the Red Deer Golf Course by Cecil and Alice Swanson . It was there that we would spread dad's ashes on the 6th hole. This was always dad's favorite hole to play because you teed off at the top of the hill and could look down and see the beauty of the course.

We drove out on golf carts and together we spread ashes throughout the course. The three of us, along with Cecil and Alice said good bye to dad and shared some tears and stories of how much he loved golf. 

This past year has been one of sadness and strength. There hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't think of my pops. I miss going home and him not greeting me. I miss him not being in his chair, and I miss him not calling me chickie. I miss the special talks and walks. The glass (or box) of hochtaler we would have together! I miss hearing about the stupid stock market! I miss that I can't call him when mom is at coffee. I miss the look on his face when I  come home. I miss his jokes and hearing his voice. I just miss him.

He was my hero, my pops, a great dad and a good friend.

In my heart forever, I love you dad!