ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, matthew james ashby 33 years old , born on April 20, 1975 and passed away on August 20, 2008. We will remember him forever.
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 29, 2020
Hello son x I dont know what's wrong with me today just things keep coming into my head and I'm just start crying for god knows what for x I'm worried about leaving here x leaving Taylor to fend for himself x never seeing the girls again x brandon xleaving the animals x just everything x I think about my childhood and my sister x even me friends from school the funny things we did and places we went x I start crying x is this what happens when the say they saw there lives pass before them x my life and all the bastards that have fucked it up x especially that thing with her selfish lying ways and what shes done x I'm sorry I shouldn't be moaning like this just feel so alone at the minute x so so sorry babe I wish I had you here xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 20, 2020
Happy birthday son x hope your going to be celebrating up there with all the people we have loved and lost x miss you so so much x I'm not going to write a lot as it's all about your day x wish you were here love and miss you son x love mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 9, 2020
Hi son x still not much happening at the moment x fed up of not being able to go garden centre lol x still finding things to do x I wish you were here matthew so horrible without you x love and miss you so much x mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 1, 2020
Hi son x not much to tell we are still in self isolation x its doing my head in not being able to go out especially garden centre x Taylor is still working x so that's about it for now x love and miss you so much x love mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on March 21, 2020
Hi babe x well what a game with this bloody virus x shopping is a nightmare x Taylor still having to go to work x its maceys birthday today x kylahs tomorrow x I bet there growing up fast x poor kids I do feel for them having that hateful x uncaring x selfish bitch for a mother x I think about when she was born and a toddler god she was beautiful loved her so much x how could she turn out to be the evil thing that she is x well the hall stairs and landing has been done x it all looks nice and fresh x little man not coming over for a while with this virus x I sat thinking about all I've been able to afford since she's not taking my money from me and paid cash for it all x I'll be glad when the country gets back on its feet and we can get back to normal again x all for now son x love you x missing you x love mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on February 25, 2020
Hi son x things still the same x poor millie is struggling with her legs worse than usual x I'm dreading the time I have to let her go x zuse is just zuse lol x everything sorted now for April we have her with us permanently now it's all official x yaaaa x so lonely without you son x brandon still cracking me and Taylor up x he's on a new medication so hopefully this will help him x speak to you soon x love and miss you so you xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on February 18, 2020
Hi son x well that's the lads getting older time flying by so fast x nothing much going on here apart from the usual x aunt pat still cussing everyone lol x poor josie is ok bless her x me and your uncle peter have grown closer since aunt pat went in the nursing home x we have a great laugh and cuss x glad her int around or she would be accusing us of being an item like she did with our Patrick the sick bitch x I know I keep saying it but I hate her so much x those poor kids x let's hope they get away from her as soon as they can for there own sanity x they will have a lot of problems to deal with just like Taylor has x I've said it before but she was the one that should of gone not you x miss you son so much it's not fair x all for now mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on January 10, 2020
Hi sweetheart well Christmas and new year has been and gone for another year x Taylor brought me and Brandon some lovely things x had some lovely stuff off Brandon as well x Brandon is now on stronger medication to help him x and it won't be much longer and he will get his compensation for accident bless him at least he will be sorted for life x he wants to start having driving lessons x Taylor starting soon x I can't believe there 18 and 20 now x it's a shame that she is such a cunt as she has missed out on him going from a teenager to a young man with a job and isn't afraid of hard work x but everyone says that if he was still with her he wouldn't be the lad with a job like he is now x well I'm off to hospital for check up on arthritis and next week check up on the holes they put in my eyes x bloody hospital appointments coming in again now year out the way x love and miss you so much son x love mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 24, 2019
Well here we are again another Christmas without you x and the girls x putting on a happy face for the lads and the rest of the world x I won't write to much as i only end up snotting as usual x but I wish you a lovely Christmas up there with all our family and friends that are with you x god bless you son x love and miss you so much x love you always and forever mother xxxxxxxxx❤❤❤
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 16, 2019
Hi babe x well getting ready for Christmas x so so sad you are not here x we miss you so much x missing the girls as usual x but more so as its Christmas time x Brandon is a great help to me with Taylor working x god I want to say so much to you x but I don't think there would be enough room lol love you son xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on November 23, 2019
Hi babe x well had a good cry yesterday they have started playing xmas songs on the radio x was thinking about you not being here x not seeing the girls x mom x Patrick x and the rest of the family that are no longer here x what a life x finding it difficult to think what to buy the lads this year x Brandon had me in bits as usual talking about college x he misses you so much x love and miss you so much love mother xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on November 21, 2019
Hello my darling x
Posted by Patricia Thomas on November 14, 2019
Hi babe x well it's been another emotional few days x poor Derek passed over the rainbow bridge yesterday x I haven't been able to stop crying x god death is a shit x no matter who or what x I've looked after him since he was a puppy x poor Emma is distraught x its horrible not having someone to hug at times like this x Brandon will be back tomorrow lol x miss you so much xxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on November 7, 2019
Hello my darling x I find it so hard to come on here as I just want to sit and talk to you like we used to x well millie was 15 yesterday I though I was losing her on the Tue x aunt pat is still aunt pat x Brandon will be over again later as usual bless him x he's got a wicked sence of humor has me and Taylor in bits x he misses you so much x we talk so much about you x Christmas will be here before we know it x its difficult to buy for Taylor now hes working as he buys all that he wants now he doesn't have to wait for Christmas x Brandon is doing well at college still keeps threatening to come and live here lol x that's all for now me darling love you x mother xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on October 24, 2019
Hi darling x millie has got more lumps come up I'm so worried that I will have to have her put to sleep x poor Derek is poorly and getting worse x Brandon coming over today bless him he's here every minute he can x oh son I miss you so much x love you mother xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 19, 2019
Hi babe x been having a sort out and found a load of bots an bobs x brought a few tears on x I've uploaded a picture that you did for Brandon x it's not nice here without you x love you loads x miss you x mother xxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 14, 2019
Cant wait till I get a minute to get that bitches photo off here xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 14, 2019
Hi son x just having a minute x the lads are up the fair x how I used to love going up there with you and the grandkids x the excitement they couldn't control x god bless them I miss them so so much xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 8, 2019
Hi babe x here for a moan x so fed up x sad and feeling sorry for myself x wish you were here to talk to x and take my mind off things x had to book appointment to have some different blood tests done x he's looking for diabetes and cancer x not good when your on your own and not having someone to talk to about it x let's hope it's not anything x can you imagine she will be jumping for joy if it was cancer x just the thought that I could have it would make her day x well she's most probably wished it on me x but she's not the perfect person she makes out to people x I wonder if her precious dad knows that the school didn't know if the boy would be starting school as they had been told that social services were thinking of taking him off them x well at least she can't blame me x you x or the lads x I do so hope she rots in hell but i will come back and haunt her x miss you son x love me so much xxxxx mother xxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 4, 2019
Hi sweetheart x for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about you x mom or Patrick yesterday x maybe it was because I was thinking about your funeral x God I wish the hurt would stop x but I suppose that's how you feel when you have lost someone you really love xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 28, 2019
Hi son well weather is changing x garden has looked brill this yr x the boys are doing ok x aunt pat still moaning lol x aunty June had a bad fall down stairs x uncle Peter is as funny as ever x Millie is getting grumpy with her aches and pains x found quite a few lumps on her now x I'm dreading the day she gose x but nothing else has changed x miss you son wish you were here with us x love you babe xxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 22, 2019
Hi babe x couldn't visit on the 20th to upsetting x can't beleave it's been 11yrs x still keep expecting you to walking down the path x to me your still here x i wish you were x love and miss you so much x love always and forever mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 16, 2019
Hello baby x April's shoes came today x it's been lovely buying all her wedding clothes x the dress is being delivered this week x she is going to look stunning x it's been a distraction wedding shopping x you would of got on with her x she is a lovely person x she is a daughter I would of loved to have had x but she calls me mom x and says she is my daughter and that's great Brandon is still here bless him x he's such a love and helps me so much x i wish you were here babe and living life with us xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 13, 2019
Hi son x I've just been sorting out all the papers from the courts for the girls to read as and if they want to when there older x and I can't beleave some of the sick things she lied about x how can she say how much she loved you and then say you constantly asked her for sex x and me and you and the lads and me making her have sex with boyfriends xfor god sake some sick head x i have never hated anyone so much x needed that moan x those poor kids will be so screwed up in the head x with her and him as so called parents lol there a joke x and as sick as each other x miss you so much our chatting and laughing x that's something I couldn't do with her xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on July 15, 2019
Hi babe x things still going good here x Brandon still here x building a wooden gazibo just been and got the wood x I can't be doing with having to keep putting the other sort up and down over the hot tub x wish you were here to enjoy all I've done with the garden it has never looked so good x all new garden furniture at the top and bottom x Brandon loves the double bed sun lounges x but I'm sure you are looking down on it all x miss you so much son x it's horrible not having my only child no more x god bless you babe x xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on July 12, 2019
Oh babe x I've had the biggest surprise today x I'm on cloud nine xxxxx Brandon still here lol x I've not felt like this for a long long time x I wish you were here to enjoy what's happened x love and miss you so much xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 29, 2019
Hi son x well the sun is out x Brandon is back lol xx he only went home for 2 days x he's been a great help with Taylor working nights x we have put the hot tub up ready for today x he loves it x comes out looking like a shriveled up prune bless him x he loves being here x he would move in if he could x well that's about all x I'm still getting on with life as you have to x miss the girls so very much and so do the boys x and we miss you something horrible x love you Matthew x love mother xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 24, 2019
Hi my darling x I think brandons moved in x he's not been home for weeks lol x x it's good for Taylor has he has no friends thanks to her x I learn a lot about things that bother him as he talks to Brandon x well things are plodding along as usual x love and miss you x love mother xxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 17, 2019
Hello son well things are plodding along x Brandon here a lot of the time x Taylor's doing well at work x Brandon doing well at collage x me I'm just me x keep having my moments were you and the girls are concerned x the lads love me talking about you and the antics you got up to x they talk about the girls a lot x I miss you so bloody much x love you son x mother xxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 30, 2019
I would love to post about the little one I've been fostering for the last 1yr and people would know what lies those 2 told x because if they thought the crap they told was true I wouldn't be doing this x they went through all the paperwork for court they have spoken to her lot that were standing for her and they have had a copy of all the court hearing and here we are xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 19, 2019
Hello son x getting things sorted for your birthday tomorrow x bbq and hot tub x food and drink x Taylor needs a good chill out bless him x he's still getting shit from what that bitch said about him x u wish they would drop dead x lots of good trusting friends coming round x so watch for the glasses to be raised x i know I've got on with my life and it's fucking great with her not in it x no walking on egg shell x frighten to speak in case it's taken the wrong way x but it would be so much better if you were here x love you son xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 14, 2019
Hi babe x Taylor is now working been doing it now 3months x Brandon was talking about you today x we have had a laugh x felt so sorry for him when he was telling me about kids at school that fell out like they do when at that age x they used to say I'm glad your dad's dead x he said let them say it now and I would hit them x he misses you so so much x Taylor misses having you here and misses his sister's x i hate her so much for what she has said and done x but my god when my time comes I'm going to put all the videos all over social media for all to see x social services x schools the lot x I'll show that bastard up for who she really is and him x rant over x I'm playing in the garden as usual x brought a lovely rose for you x god I wish you were here son xxx xxx love and miss you xxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on February 23, 2019
Hello my sweet darling x i don't know why but this morning all I could think about was seeing you at the mortuary at the hospital x i can't get my head round you going x i still can't beleave your gone x i miss you so much x love you forever my little man x God bless you son xxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on February 6, 2019
Hello sweetheart x sorry I've not been on for a while x i just get so upset when I just think about coming on here x god I miss you so much x we had a real good Christmas x the lads were more than spoilt x it was lovely having Brandon here aswell our little unpaid comedian x he's so funny x Taylor no longer call her mom it's always Kelly that's if he ever says anything it's usually if I'm talking about the past before she fell out with and disowned him x it still hurts to know she could turn her back on him x i would never of dreamed of doing that to you to x no matter what grief or trouble i had from you x and I had plenty of that x but I don't know any mother that would disown there child for a bloke x but she's no proper mother x i know I had my faults but I wouldn't of been that selfish x she's dead to me x the girls have suffered x Taylor has more than suffered and still is and I have x but that dosnt bother her as long as she's ok x selfish x nasty x hateful x lying slut x i hope the girls grow up to hate her and they will has they get older and think back on all that's gone on x and I hope they hurt her like she did all us x well that's my moan out the way x nights are getting lighter x still cold x aunt pat was 90 at weekend x she wasn't very good today when I went to see her x Taylor's dog is so funny x you would of loved him x he's off for job interview later x let's hope he gets it x love and miss you my darling son love mother xxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 25, 2018
Morning babe x merry Christmas x the boys are still in bed x just been having a bit of a cry thinking about you and the girls x you were always my worry x but you were kind x thoughtful x careing x loving x selfless x all the things that evil lying vile mouthed slapper is x what a life those girls must have x but they will know the truth about her later x I've sent for the minutes from the last court case x so they can read them as Well x one day they will turn on her like she did to me and Taylor x i can't wait x I'm gonna make her life hell when I come back to haunt her x lol xx I wish you were here you are missed so much x love you son x mother xxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 21, 2018
Hi babe x little man here for Christmas x I've been searching for a week for 2 prezzys x if you had been here you would of told me straight away were they were x Minnie the moocher x lol xxx xxx love you son x mother xxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 10, 2018
Hi ya babe x well took the lads to see aunt pat again and David Peter and June couldn't beleave how much Brandon looks like you x as you used to call him my mimi me x you would be so proud of him x he's bloody funny x we're Taylor is reserved and withdrawn they are complete opposite x but they bounce off each other x he's here for Christmas x i will do my best not to cry x love you son x mother xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on December 6, 2018
Hi sweetheart x don't have a lot to say except I miss you so much x aunt pat not very good x i love and hate this time of the year x you loved christmas x the decs the prezzys x watching the kids faces x Brandon is coming to us this year for Christmas x him and Taylor talk about you a lot x and the girls x even Brandon says how much Taylor misses them as he talks to Brandon about how he feels x i won't say to much to me in case I get upset x so pleased he has him to talk to x well you can imagine with all that money I have they have been spoilt rotton and they understand that when it's gone it's gone and we don't care x but it's not been waisted x i wish you were here to spoil as well x love you son and miss you so so much x love mother xxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on November 2, 2018
Hello babe x aunt pat couldn't get over how much Brandon looks like you x she is still upset about being in the care home x it's lovely so much nicer than her flat x well the lads have spent a fortune on clothes for Xmas x so all I've got to get is a few stocking fillers x got to pop and get pixie some fireworks x Brandon can remember the guy you did the last bonfire night we had together x you had dressed it in some of my old clothes and on its head you had wrote Kelly x and danced round while it burnt x and he remembers it all x miss you so much son x it hurts so much you not being here x love you x love mother xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on October 3, 2018
Well I'm trying to get off your site and it just keeps coming back on x bless you darling xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on October 3, 2018
Well I've just pressed a button to play a game and your tribute site came up instead x very strange x i hope this is your way of saying your with me x as I've just been crying and talking about you to kev xxxxxxxx love you my darling son xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on October 1, 2018
Hi sweetheart been a bit of a shit few days x Taylor asked me to think about getting rid of the girls things x he finds it upsetting x so we took the beds down x and I've cleared draws and wardrobe out x my god the amount of clothes x well I hope there going to go to someone that can do with them x Taylor has had new carpet x bed x and furniture Brandon loves it x bless him he's just like you x he's here every min he can x helps his nan x nothings to much for him x Taylor's dog is getting big now x you would love him x poor millies arthritis is getting worse x poor bugger x sat thinking about the girls x and they will know the truth when there older Brandon and Taylor will make sure of that x i still can't beleave how she could of told lies like that about her own family x she is sick in the head x but the truth will be told and everyone that listened to her lies will know the truth x all because she wants to be with a twat like him fuck her kids they don't matter as I will prove with the texts and videos that Charlie sent me x i will put them on social media for all to see what a bitch she is to those girls x bless them x why she stops with him is just selfish x he dosnt love her x oh well I'll have the last laugh x i do wish you were still here x miss you so much x love you always and forever x mother xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on September 27, 2018
Hello my sweet darling x i miss you so so much x i love and miss you love all ways and forever xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 20, 2018
Hello my darling x well 10yrs x still dosnt feel that long babe x apart from not seeing you it dosnt feel like it ever happened x to say I miss you is an understatement x what o would give for you to still be with me x Taylor and Brandon x poor Taylor got beat up the other night by a lad on a motor bike still to do with what that bitch told people x she's got a lot to answer for x she won't remember what today's date is x because it's not about her x i hope she rots in hell x well son I know Mandy will be remembering you x she never forgets bless her x even with all her things going on with her health and the youngest suffering x she's got a heart of gold x oh god I love and miss you so very much x but I don't need to tell you this you know x love you son xxx xxx  xxx  xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on August 9, 2018
Hi my dear son x poor millies arthritis is getting worse x it's such a shame x but I just can't bring myself to have her put to sleep x i know I'm being selfish but the thought of doing it makes me feel so bad x i just think of the day you took me to see her and that was it she came home with us x and she has been a big part of our family since x i know if you were here you would tell me I was being selfish x i just don't want her to go she's another part of you going x aunt pat is doing ok but her memoir getting bad x she hates the home x i do feel sorry for her x me Brandon and Taylor were talking about it being 10yrs this month x it's great to hear him talk about you and his memories of you x love and miss you my darling dear son xxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on July 17, 2018
Hi my darling x all done at aunt pats x off to visit her in a bit x she likes to talk about you and how you looked after Patrick x I'm so proud of the way the family talk about you x God I miss you so much x love and miss you my dear son xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 29, 2018
Hi ya darling x nearly finished clearing out aunt pats x feel so sorry for her x well new car coming today x could of done with you yesterday couldn't walk x hands and feet were killing me x poor Taylor didn't know what to do to help x love you babe x miss you so much xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 8, 2018
Hi babe x poor Taylor's head is still a mess from all that's gone on x he has finally realised he dose need to see someone x he's so alone he said he still wants to kill himself x i keep telling him it's not his fault all this happened x such a shame x she is so evil doing this to him x love you xxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on June 3, 2018
Hi my dear son x took aunt pat to her old place yesterday to pick some bits up x but she wants to take everything x but she hasn't the room now x she keeps talking about when you were looking after Patrick x and what a great job you did x the nursing home is oppersite Patrick's flat x i know I say it every time I come on here but I miss you so so much x love you son xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on May 25, 2018
Hello my dear son x can't stop thinking about you again x thinking of all the crap we have all gone through because of that mad bitch x you were right we you asked if she had 3x6 on her head x you obviously saw what I didn't want to x I've been looking of photos of her when she was a baby she was so pretty x i loved her so much x and to see her now the evil has turned her ugly x she's your typical council drug slag scum x and they arnt just my words they have also been said by people that she think are friends x anyway enough of her for now x Taylor's dog is learning well x he's so chuffed he's got him sitting and giving his paw x he needed him xxx xxx mother xxx love you xxxx
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Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 29, 2020
Hello son x I dont know what's wrong with me today just things keep coming into my head and I'm just start crying for god knows what for x I'm worried about leaving here x leaving Taylor to fend for himself x never seeing the girls again x brandon xleaving the animals x just everything x I think about my childhood and my sister x even me friends from school the funny things we did and places we went x I start crying x is this what happens when the say they saw there lives pass before them x my life and all the bastards that have fucked it up x especially that thing with her selfish lying ways and what shes done x I'm sorry I shouldn't be moaning like this just feel so alone at the minute x so so sorry babe I wish I had you here xxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 20, 2020
Happy birthday son x hope your going to be celebrating up there with all the people we have loved and lost x miss you so so much x I'm not going to write a lot as it's all about your day x wish you were here love and miss you son x love mother xxxxxxxx
Posted by Patricia Thomas on April 9, 2020
Hi son x still not much happening at the moment x fed up of not being able to go garden centre lol x still finding things to do x I wish you were here matthew so horrible without you x love and miss you so much x mother xxxxxxxx
Recent stories

matthews poem that was read at his funeral by paula perkins

Shared by Patricia Thomas on October 4, 2010

 

 LONELINESS   

LONELINESS IS A STATE OF MIND

ISOLATION, BOREDOM,ALONE

SAT IN A ROOM ALL ON MY OWN

 

NOTHING TO DO BUT LISTERN TO SILENCE

DEEP IN THOUGHT LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE

YOU LISTERN AND LISTERN, THERE'S NOTHING TO DO

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A VOICE BREAKS THROUGH

IT ASKS ME WHAT DO YOU DO

I'M SAT HERE SAT ALONE LOOKING FOR YOU

IF YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH , YOU MITE SEE ME

BUT STILL YOULL WONDER WHAT I BE

I WAS ALONE ! I LOOK AND I CANT FIND

YOU WONT FIND ME HERE I'M IN YOUR MIND

NOW I HAVE FOUND WHERE I SHOULD BE

AT PEACE AND REST IN HARMONY