My Mom was truly a "Lady." That word was repeated to me over and over growing up. While my Mom was growing up, if she got mad or irritated about something, and really wanted to give somebody, maybe a "well deserved, what for," my Grandpa would tell my Mom, above all else, always remain a "Lady"....and she always did. Sweet, gentle, wonderful smile, a second Mother to my best friend Sandy, and most recently, Sherri. I still had my Mom for a very short time after Sandy had lost her wonderful and beautiful Mama. My Mom tried to keep Sandy's spirits up, and go the extra step, and mail her a card frequently, to let her know She was still there for her. Since I was the only one blessed enough to still have my Mom, I felt like I was living on borrowed time with her. She was ill, but not enough that we couldn't go out to lunch once a week, and then grocery shopping. After moving to Rochester, I would just take lunch out to her, or they'd have me over for supper...it got to be a joke, that I'd  just ask what was supper for the next night...and she always made sure I knew I was welcome and there would be plenty for me. While I was growing up in school, most times there was a friend of mine at our dinner table, too. My Mom and Dad always made my friends feel welcome, and they always wanted to come back....even Libby Henderson, who I made laugh during dinner, and she accidentally spit orange milk across the table on my Mom. Libby felt horrible, but my Mom immediately put her mind at ease and started laughing, and of course, blamed me.

     Floats for school were built at my house, friends were brought in to be "bandaged up" from injuries by my Mom. She always wished she could of always had more kids, but she did...with all of them that I brought home. Sandy came into my life in kindergarten, and we have been a part of each other's family since. 42 years is a very long time.

     She went to work at the Courthouse, in the Extension Office when I was 6 years old. She was going to work for 5 years, until she got her kitchen remodeled. 32 years later, she retired. She loved the people, and the people loved her. Everybody seemed to say the same thing about her when they came to the visitation, and that was about her "beautiful smile."  I never felt like I really looked like my Mom, but now that I get older, and I hear people say that, I take it as the utmost compliment. She was my Mom, and my best friend.

     On March 8th of this year, I not only lost my Mom, my best friend (thank God for Sandy and Sherri), I lost the person that loved me "unconditionally" and even if I did something she didn't really like, we'd talk about it, and she still loved me. I miss her hugs, her smiles, the smell of her always cooking or baking, our lunches and shopping trips, her good advice she'd always give me, laying on her bed watching movies together....even if she did have to keep "shhhhing" me through the movies. I will always be grateful to her for everything she taught me. I will always have my love for music, and she started that with me when I was only 2. She never missed a concert I was playing for whether it was the piano or clarinet. She seemed so proud then. I hope I made her proud.

     She became a "Grammy" 6 days before she turned 40, with a 10lbs.,1 1/2 ozs. baby girl, named Melissa Renee. She was so proud of her. That never went away, she was so proud to be called "Grammy" not by only my kids, but by their friends also (which some times made my kids mad, because they were a little territorial about their Grammy),

     She became a "Grammy" again, when Melissa was almost 3 years old. Amber Nicole came into my life and hers, anxiously...3 weeks early, she was my preemie at 8 lbs.,5 1/2ozs., but she was born in Germany. At that time, my Grandpa was sick, and we were called home because they didn't think he would make it through the night, but he did...and lived for 3 more years, with Amber also getting to know him. He called her "Amber-Cadabra," usually when he was yelling at her to get her to get out of the middle of his flowerbed, she would, only to giggle, and be back in the same spot, the next time he'd turn around.

     She became a "Grammy" again, 3 1/2 years later, to the first grandson,         Ross Andrew, 9 lbs. 1 1/2 ozs. She always remarked that he looked like a little man with his sideburns, and long black hair...we have "Indian" babies, he was born in Knox, and we were living in Knox again, so she got to be part of the kids' lives again with us living close and her visiting almost daily.

     Last, but not least, she became a "Grammy" again when Scott Edward, 9lbs. even, came into our lives 17 months after Ross did. Scott was also a beautiful baby. She always loved them all equally, and would also punish them equally, if need be...but they tried to be good for her. I remember coming home from one business trip, and Ross met me and after hugging me, said "be careful Mom, Grammy's on the war-path." I guess we had "Indian babies" and have "war-path anger tendencies" because of the Indian blood from my Grandpa.  She always told me, she'd only babysit for 3 at a time, if I had more, but I called her bluff...and she kept them all, all 4 of them whenever was needed...when I was at work and would be late, or if I had to go on a business trip, she moved in and would take the place of "2nd Mom/Grammy" to my kids...they grew up with more love from her than most kids can only iimagaine or wish for.

     I got an apartment last February in Rochester, while she was still in the hospital. I took the 3 bedroom one, because I had talked to her about staying with me 3-4 days a week. She hadn't been feeling the best, and I thought it might help her,if I took care of her part of the time. I was just going to have another oxygen machine delievered to my apartment. I had planned on giving her the big bedroom, connected to the master bath, that had a walk-in shower with 2 seats in it. She never made it out of the hospital, nor did she ever get to even walk through the door of my apartment. She would always tell me how nice my house looked when she'd walk in, but she never entered my new place, and so it never became a "home" to me. I don't know if I'll ever have that feeling again in my life. Maybe if visits from my kids and loved ones were frequent, and I could be half of the woman my Mom was to everyone...I'd be more than happy, and feel blessed.     

     Right now, I still feel lost without her...and I'm sure I always will, because she is so important to me, and the pain of her being gone is still so fresh, but I pray I can try to fill my days with happier thoughts, as she'd want me to...and I know she would, but she never taught me how to go on "without" her.

     Scott told me one morning, after he invited me to go to the Chilren's Museum with him, Carrie, Brayden and Bella. I wasn't feeling the best that day, and didn't know if I could "pull it off," and he said, "Come on, Mom...you've got big shoes to fill." and I questioned him about what he meant. He said, :Grammy was "always" with us when we went places." I started inviting my Mom when the kids were all very young, so they never knew going places without her...and he said that "now it was my turn to fill those shoes." I got up, got ready, and even though I wasn't at my best, was SO glad I'd went with them, and spent that day with them, seeing all of Brayden's reactions to the dinosaurs...all the things he loved. I hope I get more chances with ALL my grandbabies, to become a special place in their lives.

     My Mom, always being at my house, always sat at the right of me on the piano bench, with my girls singing along with us...if we were lucky, we'd get 4 part harmony going, if not...a solo from each of the girls was always welcome, but Mom, as well as me, if they sang alone...was so beautiful, it always made us cry. To this day, I still cry hearing them, but don't get the chances to like before...maybe some day. We always played "Amazing Grace," which we never had a "music time" wthout singing...was played first at her funeral because it was so important to her. 

     I could go on forever about my Mom....my Friend, She had so many good qualities, it's hard to type, thinking you'll understand how much she was loved. But if you knew her, you knew just how special she was, and how the world is such a sadder place without her in it. I know she's in Heaven with her Dad, and her Mom...and the seven brothers and sisters I should of had...and the five grandchildren of mine we never got to meet. I just asked her to take care of my babies until I got there...and to let me know somehow, if I look or resemble any of my brothers and sisters up there with her. 

     Some day, Mom...I'll see you again, and I hope you're waiting at the Heavenly gates for me...I love you.......always.    Traci