Here we are again my baby girl. Still missing you like I have been for the last 16 years. Still seems like yesterday. My heart still is empty without you. Your sisters and brother are so wonderful but they miss you so much. I so wish you could know their kids, they would love auntie Shandi.. Cami is so beautiful, she is so grown, so YOU! . Everything about her is you..I know you watch over her.  She is your twin.  You would be so proud.  I love you my angel, I miss you so much.  Until we meet....I love you and watch over all of us❤

It’s hard to believe 16 years have gone by…you are not forgotten!!!

Goodmorning beautiful girl, here we are again, 15 years later, my heart still the same...lost and broken . Your memory etched in my soul. I sit here thinking about you . Your in my heart and in my mind. The what if's have never went away. Every word, every thought, every second of 15 years ago is ingrained in my soul. Some days are better than others but all in all, your on my mind in everything I do or say. "Shandi would have loved that", "shandi would have done this or that".. i know that you have had a part or had a hand in everything that has happened in our lives. You have had a hand in saving your sister and brothers life more than once. You have made sure the others had beautiful lives. As you know, I ask you for help when times get rough. Your always there..❤❤ you give me answers when I am weakening and want to give up. Everyone thinks I am such a strong person.. i can put on a good face because deep down you know how weak I really am. You give me strength, you give me hope. You give me dreams. Your memory gives me all that I need in life to keep going on. My kids are my life❤❤❤ you are my life. ❤ I pray that you are always watching over us, I pray that you are happy, dancing in heaven with Jesus, talking care of the loved ones we have lost. Your daughter Camrenn is so beautiful, she is your twin. Everything about her is YOU❤❤ I AM SURE YOU ARE SO PROUD. We are!!!! I think God gave usCami, just so we could see you every second that your not here. I remember today 15 years ago so well,  sitting at the end of that hospital bed, praying that you could just wake up. Today was the day that man brought me a daisy, telling me that some little girl that he didn't know walked up to him and said " give this to shandi's mom, she's going to be just fine". No one knew this little girl or where she came from. You knew her! It was you!! You were sending me a message i would someday figure out. As you know I put that flower on your chest, it layed there never being touched again until I saw that it was dead. All wilted and shriveled up. I picked it up, and tossed it in a glass of water that was going to be thrown away. I didn't throw it away, I forgot about it.  The next day, I was standing at your side talking to you, I turned away, I needed to look at the sky to take a breath and pray.. i looked down in that cup of water. There was that dead daisy standing tall and beautiful. Standing straight up in the middle of that cup. Nothing holding it up. It was alive, it was standing on its own. It was in full bloom...just like you... You gave me a message that took some time to sink in. You gave me a message that you knew I needed to know.. a message I needed to know to be able to survive this horrible loss. . Even though in our eyes things die all the time but they really dont... they are there, to make our hearts happy, to let us know that even though your body was physically not going to be with me, that your spirit was.... those daisies are now tattooed on my arm. I carry you with me every second. You will never leave me❤ i love you my beautiful daughter. I miss your beautiful EVERYTHING! 

Sissy another year without you. Not a day goes by that your not in my thought and prayers. I miss my side kick and my best friend. God had a better reason for you. I wish you could be here to see me walk this great road finally. Thanks for kicking my butt when I was doing wrong. I love you more than the world its self . One day we will be back together again and our chain wont be apart anymore. Keep flying high sissy and know that I am in hods hands. Love you to the moon and back. Love always and forever sissy.

Happy 32nd birthday beautiful girl.. I can't believe you are 32 years old. Time passes so quickly. Yet time drags on when it comes to being able to see you again. I wish everyday that I could see you and be with you again. Until that time comes, watch over your family and your daughter. I love you and miss you my girl. Mom

Hey baby girl, Here i am again 13 years later, with the exact same feelings as back then. Life has changed so much as you already know.. so many more people have come in and out of our lives. Your sister and brother battled with demons and overcame them..I knew all along you were by their sides keeping them alive.. A new man came into my life, but as you know me... a person that never really needed anyone to make me strong,,, I let go... but I know, you being you, knew what and who I really needed in my life, You put us back together... I tell him all of the time that he would have loved you so much because you are a lot like him in the humor Department and in the heart Department. I only wish you were here for him and his children to love you like we do. Your brother and sisters have grown so much.. they are all such beautiful loving people, and they all have such beautiful children. Braydun remembers you and still thinks of his Auntie Shandi.. I believe that is why he draws to auntie shi as much as he does is because she is just like you. Cami has grown up to be such a beautiful strong girl. She really is your twin. It is really hard to look at her some days without crying because it is just like looking at you and hearing you. She has your same voice your same walk, your humor..Everything about her is you. I try so hard not to cry everyday, just like you tell me to do in my dreams. You tell me all of the time you are okay and not to cry, but there is no stopping These Tears because I miss you more than any words could ever explain. This hole in my heart can never be filled again. I look forward to the time that we can be together again which makes me not fear death anymore. When this time comes every year I remember every single second of what was said and what happened 13 years ago. It is etched in my mind and it just hits replay over and over. My life is very good and I am thankful for everything that I have and I am sure that you have had a hand in it all. Always making sure that my life was happy. My life would be much happier if you were in it but I know that is not possible ...Please stay in my dreams. I love you so so so much.  Dance with Jesus.. Mom❣❣

I was there on the other side of things. Helpless and watching. Holding my daughter as she grieved for your daughter. So many tears she cried for Shandi. My daughter had to stay away from your family when all she wanted to do was hug you and tell you she hurt inside and how sorry she was what happened to Shandi. She was helpless. The whole thing made me sick inside. I really liked Shandi. She was a very giving and loving girl. I feel for her daughter not growing up with a mommy. Most of all I feel for you Connie. I can only imagine what it is to loose a child. No mother should have to go through that. Someday I hope you reach out to Kimberly. She would really like that. There is not a time that we do not think of Shandi. She will be missed. Hugs to you and your family xx.

I love you to the moon and back..

Today us no different than12 years ago. I miss everything about you. There is never a day that goes by that I don't shed a tear thinking about you. Your daughter Cami is a twin of you. She is beautiful, just like you... She even sounds like you. I can't wait to see you, to hug and

I love you my angel. Another year is passed and I still hurt the way I did when you left me. Keep dancing with Jesus. Watch over me and your family and your baby girl Camrenn. She is as beautiful as you are. Live you to the heavens and back.  Mom

Connie I remember that day u brought shandi home. I was on Canyon Ferry Road when the ambulance passed me. Was it last year we were in your garage talking and a feather fell out of nowhere! She's still with you and Cami from heaven! Love ya lady!!!

I never met you, I know that you are loved a lot. Your mom is such a devoted mother keeping your memory in everyone's hearts.

I am so so sorry!!!!!!!! I love you... peace and love from lea

It's hard to believe it has been ten years. The last time I saw Shandi was Christmas Eve in Helena at the little convenience store adjacent to McDonalds off North Montana, the year before she left this earth. What I do remember about that brief encounter is that she was happy and that her life was going good. I didn't recognize her at first. She approached me and wanted to share with me. Looking back, I wished I had spent more time visiting but it was late and I was driving back to Great Falls. Not much comfort in these words now I know. To her family, I am thinking of you today and always.

It seems like only yesterday you came to see me at my work Shandi, it's still hard to believe your gone. 10 years it's been since you left your wonderful loving family and friends, it still weighs heavy. I've seen pictures of your daughter, although I've never gotten to meet her in real life, she seems to have the same fire in her that you always did. I miss my childhood friend, the friend I used to build forts with and sing to songs on the radio. I will always remember the wonderful times we had and I'm hoping one day we will meet again my friend.

Very sorry Connie

I love you my angel.... Until we meet again...  MOM...

Here we are once again. A Place that I visit every year. A place that never in a lifetime I would have thought would be how where I would have to talk to you. As of tomorrow it will be 10 years since I have seen your beautiful face, heard your voice, smelled your beautiful perfume.. Part of my life ended that day and nothing has ever been the same..Yet I had 3 more days to watch you slowly slip away and there was nothing I could do to save you.. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think about you.. something you did, how you made us all laugh and even the times we cried together. There is never a day that goes by that I don't question God, with no answers... I question myself every day of how I could have changed things to prevent this from ever happening. There are no answers.. Just more questions and constant tears.. I don't think this will ever end. I have found that the "what if's" eat me alive sometimes.. I know that you send me little signs to show me that you are here.. but I just want MORE... I want you here.. Here to see what your family has become.. Here to see your beautiful daughter growing up. Here to hug her and tell her its all right... I look at her and its like looking at you. She is more like you that you could ever imagine.. She needs her mommy and I cant help... I try to make sure your memory is never forgotten with her. Its very hard hiding the tears when I look at her and imagine you and what could have been. You would be proud of her.. You would be proud of your brother and sisters and how their lives have progressed and what they have become.. I had to realize that your passing has a lot to do with how they are now and what they have become. We have all learned how to love deeper and not take life for granted. I think back on the very moment I got the news you were shot. My friend that had to inform me, told me that the color drained from me. I know now, that was the life in me.. My life was taken when your life was stolen from you. I never imagined in a lifetime that I would have to watch you take your last breath .. to feel your last heartbeat.. No mother should ever have to endure this.. Its not supposed to happen this way.. Although nothing can be changed I still wish and pray it is nothing but a mothers worst nightmare,, I still wake up and its real, nothing will ever be the same.. I have seen other mothers go through the same and it brings it all back because I know what that mother is feeling.. I know how her heart is hurting and I know her life will never be the same.. If I could just take it all away for them.
I pray that you are happy in Heaven.. I know that you are dancing just like you danced here on earth. I know you are making people happy and have them laughing just like you did here.. They are so lucky to have you.. I only wish it were me.. Love you with all my heart my angel.. Missing you more and more. Save a place for me right next to you as someday my wishes will come true.. Love, ALWAYS AND FOREVER... MOM..

I miss u shandi. Can't believe u been gone.

Welp, another year has come and gone, and like last year, missing u hasn't gotten easier, I'm just one year closer to seeing u again, I don't want to cry to much so I will finish my post with a memory, I remember the time you and I were in helmville and we were riding the riding lawn mower and the steering wheel got stuck on my belly and we went up the side of the hill and tipped over and then told dad we ran out of gas because it wouldn't start, or the time you and I painted the Helmville bar and wrote our names on the wall inside, or the time we drove thru East Helena with the dome light on so that hot guys could see that we were chicks, or on Easter when we were doing our hair at grandmas and I asked u if the blow dryer got hot and you said "I don't know, feel it, so I stuck it to my cheek only to get burned and still have scars to this day in the shape of a blow dryer!!!

Well it's that time of year again... I still miss you like it was yesterday.. I see you every time I see your daughter.. She acts just like you to! Love you so much baby sister!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ANGEL IN HEAVEN. We miss you more than words can ever express. As I sit here wondering what life would be like if you were here with us, I can imagine you smiling and laughing.. Making us all laugh with your crazy humor. I could imagine you playing with your daughter, We Miss you my angel.. Until we hold hands in Heaven watch over us Sweet Angel. Love you. MOM

Shandi, today marks the eighth year that we have had to move on in our lives without your beautiful smile! Oh my god what I would give to have you in Nikaylas life, she would love you! I die a little more every September knowing that it's just another year without you, it way have been 8 years ago but it feels like just yesterday! Honestly you feel like a long lost friend! I love you!

Love and miss you Shan!!! We think about you everyday!!!

Thinking of you today as usual. Shiann came across the woman that took you away from us so many years ago. I knew you had to be watching over Shi by helping her to walk away without making a big mistake that could change our lives forever again. We all knew this day would come. God helped us through it and I know you had your hand in on it. We love and miss you every minute. MOM

I hate it when this month comes... Knowing it will be 7 years since we lost you. God gave you to us on loan and wanted you back.. As hard as we all fought... God won... I hope you are dancing in heaven.. You loved to dance and you danced your way there.. We love and miss you more and more each day. I so wish you would visit me in my dreams every night.. I love you my angel... and miss you

Sis, My heart is left with emptiness without you. I always wonder where you are and want to hold you one more time. I need my little sissy back. It has been 7 years when god called you home but you took a piece of my with you. I miss you everyday and hope that you are in a good place, and that you check on me from. I still wait for your phone call just to say I love you. I miss you sissy.