Remembering Stephen
by Dr. Orin Smith - Klein United Methodist Church
Spring, Texas, Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Friends, Stephen has brought us together today. From work and play we come together to celebrate the good we have found in him. Surely we would give almost anything to hear his voice, to see his smile, to touch him, but that’s not going to happen. Death always comes as an intruder, and takes away those whom we love the most.
Kevin, you said it so beautifully and briefly in your post on Facebook:
“The world lost a beautiful soul yesterday. Stephen Griffith, I love you more than words can describe. You were an amazing brother and it hurts so bad to let you go. I will never forget your kind and loving heart. Rest in peace.”
There is no way to soothe the pain of saying “Goodbye.”
Anne Lamott, a fine writer, put it this way: “You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
I have known Stephen since he was about eight years old. I have seen him grow, been aware of him struggling, known of him making mistakes, I have also been charmed by his smile and I have been made aware of his compassion, his ability put his own interest aside for the sake of another.
Some of us have reflected on that over the past few days. We have thought about his keen mind, the way he could focus intensely on something that he was interested in. He might spend hours tinkering with something like a, like a guitar chord, a note until it felt just right. Once, when one of his brothers was having trouble with a math problem, Stephen looked at it for a few minutes, and then the answer came to him. That keen mind was at work.
Some of us have said to ourselves and to each other, Stephen had such potential. Why couldn’t we have had him for many more years. When we lose someone so young, we sense that it’s just not right.
A friend of mine some years ago experienced this first hand. His son, 21 years old; a quick collision and his son was gone. My broken-hearted friend said some time later: “It was too soon for Bob to die. And then I began to think, Maybe God’s timetable is not the same as ours. The most beautiful flowers last but a season, Even God’s son Jesus was with us for a little over 30 years. .I guess some lives are fulfilled in a shorter time than others.”
Stephen’s brothers have shared some thought with me. I offer them to you.
From Kevin:
“Stephen was a great younger brother. I felt like he looked up to me throughout most of his life. As a boy I took advantage of that by talking him into performing ridiculous stunts. That might be the reason why my mom chose to pursue a nursing degree. As we grew older, though, I really came to appreciate him for the good person he was. I included him in activities with my friends and he fit right in. He got along with everyone. I loved to see him when he was happy. He lived in the moment and made the most of the good times.
Being in a family with four boys promotes a competitive atmosphere. I typically had an advantage over my brothers because I was older, but it didn't take long to discover just how talented Stephen was. We shared a lot of the same passions: art, gymnastics, soccer, music, video games, and motorcycles. I think the only one I had him beat in was soccer, but I believe he could have surpassed me in that if he really wanted to. I'm sure most people that met him saw that raw talent as well. He was physically and mentally gifted. He was truly special.
I miss Stephen dearly. He was always up for a good time when I visited. He knew that our time together was limited and I could always tell that he treasured the moments we shared. In May, I traveled to Houston for the first time in over a year. I took Stephen and my father to the brewery where I previously worked. We spent half the day there and had an amazing time. It didn't matter what else was going on in our lives, we just embraced the moment and enjoyed each other's company - so thankful to have the loving, caring family that we have. We were two happy sons and a happy father that day, and nothing else. It is a memory that I will never forget.
When I think of Stephen, I think of a beautiful soul. Pure and innocent. Compassionate and caring. He was one of the good guys. Love, Kevin”
From Alex:
“I had the unfortunate position of riding directly behind Stephen at his first major motorcycle accident in 2007. He misjudged his speed approaching a sharp corner, and I could do nothing but watch it happen. After he and the bike had come to rest, it didn't even occur to me that he could be severely hurt. He can't be hurt. It was just some major but fixable damage to his bike. That's all it could be. After pushing the bike off the road I then shamefully noticed Stephen wasn't moving. Much later, at the hospital, after some minor patching and a brief surgery to remove a small pebble from his taint (we loved that word), he started smiling and chuckled childishly. He then confidently said, "Guys, I had my first period."
That was Stephen. Just pure innocence and silly humor. He didn't want life to be more complicated than that. More importantly, he didn't want to inconvenience or disappoint anyone. He tried to help in his own way. Back in 2007, while lying on that empty road, he was obviously in a lot of pain. Covered in blood, he couldn't move. I moved him to safety off the empty road and managed to get his helmet off, all the while he repeated, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I began to realize the tears he had weren't from pain but from another place. Through my own adrenaline-filled tears I told him to shut up, but he wouldn't stop. He just kept repeating, "I'm so sorry."
Stephen didn't worry about himself or anything material. He just wanted everyone else to be happy.”
From Daniel:
“My brother Stephen was truly a gift to this world. It was impossible to be next to Stephen without having a smile on your face. He had the biggest most caring heart you could imagine. If he could help someone even in the least amount, he would make sure he helped them. For many years throughout our lives, there were so many situations where we realized that all we have is each other. And that bond for the past ten years has grown so much. Stephen wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend who came everywhere I went and had me next to him wherever he went. Just last Thursday(27th), Stephen and I were so excited to be able to hang out for an hour before we went to bed, because we both have been so busy with our lives that we really thought about each other and missed each other daily. So Thursday really meant a lot to have his beautiful smile next to me. The legacy that he leaves behind will never be forgotten. I can feel his soul following our family and his daughter Savannah. Although it breaks me down to not have him physically with me; He is never without me.”
Just the other day, on Sunday morning, Miss Savannah Griffith, age three, was in her place at our church in a class with other 3-year-olds. Michael, her grandfather, was walking out the church door with her when class was over. As they stepped outside, Savannah looked at the sunlit sky, the gorgeous flowers on either side, and asked. “Pawpaw, is today Easter?”
Maybe you know that when we gather in churches on Sundays, we regard every Sunday as a little Easter. We gather to celebrate the coming into the world another young man. He did his best to teach us that the whole world is alive and alight with the presence of God. His Word often comes to us through the wisdom of a beautiful young child.
Romans 6:9. Paul, the mighty one, tells us “We know that Christ being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.”
Or, as another has said, “Jesus, the Christ of God came to show us that death is not the end of the road, but a bend in the road.” (Ernest Campbell)
“Pawpaw, is today Easter?” It most certainly was, is for Stephen…… Griffith
Do you hear that? It deserves to be heard. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.