Hi, Mom. It's been WAY TOO LONG; but you know the circumstances. I'm still so very sorry. I know you've been watching the Hell I've been living through; I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you either. At least I'm in a much better living situation now and brought Josh with me; and as you know, he's having another child in May, this time with Shay. A better option and someone he loves. They've been together a year now, though she chased him for 17 out of the 18 of knowing him. Haha But I gotta say that HE TRULY LOVES HER, and it shows. I'm proud of how he's grown.
Oh, Mom I wish so much that You were here. I could really use a friend; my BEST friend, and I've sadly come to realize that I'm TRULY ALONE in this world since You passed. :'-( I TRULY DON'T have friends; I just KNOW a lot of people. I've seen & felt for quite some time that Irene has had 'Issues' with me for whatever reasons. I know that I haven't done anything except BE THERE FOR HER, so I can only boil it down to the typical envy & jealousy I've dealt with my entire life. Irene can't stand it when others give me compliments, and SHE DOESN'T give me compliments; so what does THAT tell you? You can literally SEE the annoyance on her face and she'll change the subject; usually to HERSELF. But I can sit and listen to HER about ANYTHING & EVERYTHING; to include EVERY TEXT between her & Linda or WHOEVER she was disgruntled with at the time. God forbid I say A WORD about ANYTHING going on with myself. I instantly see the disinterested look, then shortly there after she'll just start talking over me or at least SOMEONE will; even a child will be ALLOWED to. I CAN'T STAND how they all look down their noses at everybody; it sickens me. Where do they get off thinking they even have the right to?
Moving into this house was SUPPOSED to be MY dream; MY ESCAPE FROM YEARS OF HELL. It turned into a move from ONE HELL TO ANOTHER; at least at first. We've been here just about a month, and I'm SOOO DEEP into depression I'm actually gonna ASK for my Cymbalta for a spell; and we all KNOW how I feel about meds. I'm a NATURALIST; EVEN with all of my conditions, I should be on a buffet of meds. NOPE!!! I AM My Mother's Daughter; YOU didn't like meds either, and I ONLY made You take what I FELT was absolutely necessary. Stuff they TRIED to give You in hospitals, or to prescribe You; I prevented. You were at Your HEALTHIEST, Praise The Lord. Well, I'm doing the same for myself, Mom. I listen to doctors to an EXTENT; but I'VE ALWAYS been OUR BEST DOCTOR... Degree or NO degree. I have the 'Mom Degree' & the 'Me Degree'. Haha I also have this flower that doesn't grow in everybody's garden called COMMON SENSE; so I do my OWN RESEARCH about stuff... Like the whole COVID PLANDEMIC. DON'T even get me started on THAT. You're up there, so YOU KNOW that it's about Population Control; that 'The Jab' is REALLY a PATHOGEN, CHANGES your DNA, and that there's NOTHING about it that PROMOTES IMMUNITY, therefore it's NOT A VACCINE; that it was ALL funded BY FAUCCI, GATES & a few others; they took a HARMLESS corona virus (listed for YEARS on the back of the Lysol can) & sent it to a LAB IN WUHAN, CHINA TO MAN-MAKE IT into a POTENTIALLY THREATENING VIRUS. HOWEVER, they've PURPOSELY mistreated patients and THEY DIED. They REFUSED PROPER TREATMENT and they died. The JAB ALONE HAS CAUSED DEATH & ILLNESS, YET THEY MANDATE IT. HOW MANY WAYS CAN YOU SPELL 'AGENDA'??? The ONLY people I know getting sick with COVID ARE THE VAXXED. Let THAT sink in.
Anyway... I didn't mean to go down that road. As you know, I'm an Activist for RIGHTS, Animals, and just anything I feel is RIGHT. If you want change, you can't just sit around bitchin' about it; you gotta have VOICE. So, I've been on TV, YouTube, and all over the internet.
I'm glad I never gave up on Blayze. As you know, he shut me out this last year and a half because of Skie; for whatever her jealous and selfish reasons. But he's talking to us again, thank you GOD for answering my prayers. I never gave up and glad that I didn't. I gave him his space, but I also sent birthday & holiday cards & such. Also some random things in between. I NEVER cut that cord, regardless of HIS lack of communication, response or sense of love for me. :'-( I felt that no matter what, if I gave up... Then I REALLY GAVE UP, and I couldn't do that. He's my son and regardless of the thoughtlessness, the hurt, the selfishness... I love him and I want HIM and My Grandson Wesley BACK IN MY LIFE. <3<3 It's already been too long.
I DO HAVE A LOT to say, Mom; but I'm SO depressed, I need to get out of my own head. So, I'm gonna end for now.
I love & miss You EVERY DAY. Hugging You with my Heart; Always, Forever & A Day... <3
