Q & A
February 9, 2021
by Ruth Abbott
Yesterday one of my schoolmates (whom I haven’t seen in over 50 years) asked me, via Face Book, to describe my husband. I replied that would take a whole book… but then in reply to her specific questions, I began to explore “the time before”-- discovering wonderful memories and old photos to accompany some of them. Life for us changed considerably after Tom’s first stroke at midnight on what was his official retirement day. What followed were years of our “long farewell”. It was healthy for me to remember the days when we were both active and “driven”. Yes, the memories were washed by tears, but then it was just a visit.
Q: What was your husband like?Outgoing or introvert? Funny or serious? Musical? Athletic? What attracted you to him?
A: He was an engineer-- serious, introvert, over-thinker; good provider, a GREAT "Dad" to our exchange students and doting "Poppie" to our grands. Good questions! He was "comfortable" to be around. He inspired confidence. No, not musical or athletic. He did ENJOY music but not creating it. He was an able handiman. His athletic activity was walking... He was the family dog-walker.
Q: What was a favorite thing the two of you liked to do together? (Not counting Mary Kay!)
A: Actually I didn't get into Mary Kay until I retired which was after Tom had both of his strokes. We did do Amway together for several years in the early 80s. We both loved to travel. We did a lot of road tripping within the US. In 1984 we traveled to Europe and toured seven countries. In 1987 we went to Canada together for the Prairie reunions and then took the train to Victoria. We toured Butchart Gardens on that trip and at some other point we were there another time. In 1993 we travel to South America and were in three countries. I got to pretend I was the "Girl from Ipanema", walking on the beach in Rio de Janiero. This morning I have another mental photo from that trip (oh! There are SO many “photos” in my head!) but this one is of Tom at Itaparica doing his version of the Samba. I’m sure I have photos somewhere in a box… but I’m just savoring this one!
Q: It sounds like you and Tom had a good life together!
A: He was very definitely a special guy, and I do miss him. I created a memory page for him on Forever Missed. The link is with his picture at the top of this thread. There are a number of photos on that site, and I keep adding to them. It is like a walk down memory lane for me. I appreciated Jan asking questions because it gave me a reason to think back over our years together. I don't think all of that information is recorded anywhere and I am not a particularly analytical person. One thing I did not include was the amount of volunteer work Tom and I did together. We were active in the Chamber of Commerce and some of the spin-off organizations such as Superstition Mountain promotional Corporation, and Lost Dutchman Days. We were active in our church, and other community groups.