I was extremely surprised and saddened this week to learn of Chris’s passing. With each day the news has become more of a burden, more of a focal point.
On Saturday my wife and I attended the Celebration, with so many remembering Chris. It was fantastic – hats off to Laura and Paula! There was a small PA system, and had I been able to form these words, here is what I would have said:
I met Curly (yep, Curly) while we were in high school. We had almost nothing in common: he played tennis – I had no idea we had a tennis team; I went to the vocational school to learn a trade – he had no idea we could do that, etc. But we both played guitar, and sometimes it got loud. I recall being recruited into a band he was in. Someone talked the school into letting us play at the annual, outdoor movie showing. We practiced hard. Twice. We played loud. It rained. We ran. What a blast! Having played together 3 times, it was as good as a recording contract in 1987: we will jam. In the coming months I turned 18, and then we had a second thing in common: Beer. (we of course did not drink underage).
Curly went to college – I did not. When I came to my senses after one semester I joined him at CSU. We jammed. We drank beer. We went to concerts – a lot of concerts. He had found a way to get great seats at Red Rocks by donning crutches and a leg brace to gain early entry. Brilliant! We both were super-fans of Stevie Ray Vaughan, following him to Red Rocks, Big Mac, and the State Fair. Other concerts were attended, none compared. My time with Curly was always fun. Always loud.
But at some point during these college years, I began to notice something strange: Curly had other interests, other people in his life: Roommates, Photography, Travel, Family, more photography, more travel, Hockey, more and more and more. And speaking for myself, he would make me feel as though I was the one and only when we were drinking beer, being loud. So many discussions during the Celebration yesterday echoed this very thing: Curly is a renaissance guy: Dogs, Volunteering, Gardening, Making Beer, Drinking that beer, drinking other beer, Cooking, spending real time with his family, traveling DEEPLY (which is so different than see-if-we-can-squeeze-in-another-Disney-day!) Breadth and Depth. The early 90’s rolled around, college began wrapping up, and we went separate ways but stayed in touch by phone.
In 1994 I sent Curly a tape with 3 or 4 song starts on it that I recorded. It was loud! Once he received, he reciprocated and we created some music while he was in Tucson, I in Denver. I will be (hopefully) converting those to a digital format and sharing some time soon…But in 1994 I starting working, I was married, and things got busier. In 1995 my son was born. In 1998 my daughter was born. Things just sort of progressed and I spent more time on less things. And I lost touch with Curly in this timeframe and there was no one to jam with.
In 2012 I got a call from Curly. His house is 9 minutes from mine. Let’s have lunch! We met several times, eating, catching up – did not get a chance to get loud. When my wife asked ‘How was Curly’ I had this to say: It’s a little strange – he has not really changed that much. And now that I am looking at the teeth-end of his passing, and clearly hearing how he was a renaissance guy right up to the end – DEPTH, BREADTH, Deep relationships – I am reflecting a bit and realizing what on earth was I thinking?? I did not get loud for 30 years and I did not drink beer.
I was lucky enough to come away from the Celebration with some great new Curly stories, a piece of Curly art, having met some of Curly’s friends, and some of Curly’s doo-dads to help me get loud (my son is a rocker now and loves one of the homemade pedals!). Trying to learn from past inaction, I reached out to 3 blokes we went to college with to share the sad story…. And maybe reconnect after 30 years.