Mom, I was driving into work alone today and listening to the cd of songs I made for your memorial service. You left us 5 years ago today and I can remember that day and the day before it still so vividly. I not only lost my mom on that day but I lost my biggest fan and the one person in this world who loved me more than anyone else did, or ever will. I wish I could have one more day to hold you and sing to you and look into your beautiful eyes and let you know how much you mean to me. For me, music has always been a powerful memory trigger and this morning's songs not only erased 5 years, but it brought back memories, happy and sad, of memories I hold of you. I'm struggling to find purpose in my life and I have been since you left. I was sure you were my purpose. To love you, to protect you and to keep you safe. Wishing for things won't make them happen so I keep searching for whatever it is that I am here to do. I love you and miss you so.