I’ve spent countless nights, with tears as Jude slept at my side, trying to imagine the words to say at this point. The horrible truth is, it feels there is nothing worthy I can say. No borrowed poems, no anecdotes; no sentiments or words that come close to capturing a life so rich and a person so joyful.
But as words fail me and destroy me, Judith – above all – deserves my attempt.
It’s almost pointless to try and describe the Judith we all know, love and admire. That boundless personality - ever loving, fun, no hint of the self-conscious, interesting and caring was obvious in an instant. It was present the very first day we met 20 years ago and I was in awe, and never, ever, wavered. She was gifted, committed and a natural at her work; a terror with a credit card; it felt like she collected life-long friends every week and her long standing friends, well they loved her with a love that was pure. And when it came to her family – well then words fail me and I break again.
Even this cruel disease didn’t come close to changing who she was. In private, there was no denial but her fears could be counted on one hand. I would sit on the landing in our house and listen to Jude singing in the kitchen and simply be amazed. The strength of character it took to maintain that view – the one that decided to put life, friends and family first and to almost relegate this disease - is beyond my comprehension.
In losing you, I – we – are broken. Your absence feels like an abyss we can’t measure. But the joy and love you radiated echoes on. In the colleagues who miss your classroom presence, in the wave of love and friendship from countless friends; from family so true and, most of all, in our two incredible, precious children.
To my darling, beautiful wife: as you said to me a few weeks ago I repeat back to you - you are the love of my life. It utterly tears me apart to say goodbye. You changed me for the better in so many ways, led me to a life more colourful than I could envisage, humbled me with a lifetime of true friends and gave me a family complete and loving.
I will treasure every memory, in your memory.
I – we - will love you every day of our lives.