❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Love you . Nana x

Worst day of our lives …. 4.2.2017 … 10.42pm …

7 years without you
4/2/2017
10.42pm

We both died that day. Except I was still breathing. I don’t think I can do life much longer. Everyday is a day closer to you! X

Where has the time gone … 7 years … Don’t get any easier ! Love you ALWAYS Kody xx

I know it’s late . But merry Xmas my darling boy . I hope you had a magical one with all our loved ones . Pat can finally meet you now she has gained her angel wings . Look out for her . You will hear her before you see her lol . Nanny loves you baby . ALWAYS . Miss you more than words can say … nana xx

Hi Baby, sorry I have not wrote in ages , you know i think of you daily tho ,
I heard a new song today it’s called part of me and the words remind me of you and grandad because they say about memories and that you’ll always be part of me .. it’s such a Lovley song I hope you feel it ? . We are all ok . I hope your with grandad ! Spend Christmas with him obviously.. I was looking at your videos the other week wondering what you would’ve looked like now but I guess in heaven you stay the same right ? I love you Kody . Miss you so much baby boy … love ALWAYS NANA XX

Mummy loves you Kody xx

Sorry I haven’t wrote to you lately Kody, there’s so many reasons why but whatever they are, I’m sorry. I miss you, love you always xx

Wish you was here today more than ever Kody x

Good morning baby boy. I’m sorry I haven’t wrote to you everyday lately. I feel really bad, but I’m really struggling with everything. I wish I was with you Kody. I miss you, love you x

The greatest lesson you ever taught me was the one lesson I never wanted to learn,
How to live without you x

I’ll never stop missing you … nana x

Happy coronation day baby boy. I hope you’re enjoying it up there x

Love you Kody x

Hello baby boy . It’s been a long time since I’ve wrote but believe me when I say I think of you daily ! Miss you . Where has the time gone Kody ? Hope you’re still still watching over us all … love you loads .. ALWAYS in my heart and thoughts . Nanny xxx

“Sending our love to everyone missing someone who should be here this Christmas.
So many families have changed dramatically.
Sending strength to you all just to get through the day.
Thank you to everyone who has acknowledge this for us. It means a lot!”

Happy Christmas Eve Eve x

I often wonder if you’re thinking of me from heaven as much as I’m thinking of you from here!? X

The light in my eyes died when you died.
I see everything through an entirely different lens, as if I were colourblind!!!!!!

I watched you suffer, I saw you die, but all I could do, was sit close by.
You went away, we had to part, god eased your pain but broke my heart!!!!!!!!! X

I’m not stuck grieving my baby, I’m openly loving my baby!!! X

Forever, I will hold on to the memories of you.
Forever, you will be part of me.
Forever, in my heart you will be.
Forever, I will love you!!!!!!!! X

“ Keep going, that person in heaven don’t want you to quit! “

Hi,
It’s me again, your grief.
I know today isn’t convenient, buuut …

The sad reality is that grief is traumatic, life changing and hugely painful. Sadly, grief is something we will all have to experience at some point in our lives. We will all hear those devastating words. So, always show kindness, compassion and love to others. Because one day, you might need the support from someone that’s navigated the pain of grief!

Happy bonfire night Kody, I hope you can see all the fireworks with all the angels xxxx

Losing a child changes who you are at your very core. It is the greatest loss a human being can experience!! Mummy x

Happy halloween in heaven xxx

Yes I am still sad & yes I’m still grieving my baby!!!!!

There are so many things I imagined You’d be for Halloween. But all I really want you to be Is here!!!!!!

I get jealous that you get to do stuff with your baby and I don’t! Xx

Sometimes trauma doesn’t affect you until it’s over.
After the storm has passed.
Once you get a minute to think about what you just went through, it’ll hit you right in the face!!!

My heart just hurts Xx

It’s not just one loss -
• Loss of the loved one
• Loss of self
• Loss of identity
• Loss of self confidence
• Loss of chosen life style
• Loss of security
• Loss of feeling safe
• Loss of known family structure
• Loss of the familiar manner of relating to family and friends.
• Loss of the past.
• Loss of the future
• Loss of direction
• Loss of dreams
• Loss of trust
• Loss of sharing with a loved one
• Loss of ability to focus
• Loss of ability to see choices
• Loss of ability to make decisions
• Loss if sense of humour
• Loss of health
• Loss of inner happiness and joy
• Loss of patience with self.

& LOTS more!!

As loss parents, we are painfully aware that babies die. We don’t have any other options!!!!!!!!!!!

Why is everybody not angry,
Crying out,
Throwing empty bottles at walls!
Why is everybody so happy in the sun, like nothing ever happened at all!!!!!!

Sometimes people become so good at hiding their pain the world assumes they are no longer suffering!!!!!

Pregnancy and infant loss is never being the same person you were before!!!!!!!!! X

I love you!
Can you hear me when I say it????? X

Some people survive and talk about it.
Some people survive and go silent.
Some people survive and create.
Everyone deals with unimaginable pain in their own way, and everyone is entitled to do that without judgement!!!

If you knew me before my loss, you don’t know me anymore!!!!!!!! X

I miss you.
Can you hear me when I say it? X

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear”

Time doesn’t heal everything.
It just teaches us how to live with the pain!!!!!!

Have faith, even when things look impossible!!!!

“Grievers don’t owe you shit”!!!!!

“ just get through today “

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty.
& I could not have described it any better!!!!!!!!

We don’t look the same anymore.
It’s in the eyes ..

My love couldn’t save you, but yours saves me over & over again!!!!!!!