My O-P-Lay-Lee
Tabitha Lee (Thibeault) Merchant
9/13/1984 to 3/30/2007
I have tried so many times to describe the feeling of loss and despair that followed the death of Our Daughter Tabitha 6 years ago today , but I don't think I will ever manage to completely convey my true feelings. No Parent should ever have to go through this, there is nothing worst than caring for a child, loving it and dreaming of its future only to have it ripped away from you. The Pain of losing your child is so incomprehensible to those who have not experienced it.
Our daughter Tabitha was born September 13th, 1984 at 6:38 pm at Concord Hospital in Concord New Hampshire. She weighed 5-lbs 14-oz and was 19” long. She was a breached baby and had to be brought into this world by cesarean section. It was such a joy watching her grow from her first steps to potty training, her first day of school to learning to ride a bike and then driving a car and to becoming a wonderful Mother. I was very proud of the young lady she was becoming. Tabitha had a fascination with Butterflies and white tigers. She enjoyed hanging out with her friends and spending time with her best friend whom happens to be her Mom. She enjoyed chats and long drives thru the country side with her Daddy. She was a shy child but had a heart of gold and would always do for others before considering her own needs. She fell in Love with her soul mate Terrance John Merchant in 2002 and Married November 11th, 2005. Her greatest moment of happiness was on January 25th, 2005 when she started a Family of her own with the birth of her little girl Jazmyn Marie Thibeault and again on March 15th, 2007 with the birth of her little man Jayden John Merchant.
Tabitha passed on March 30st, 2007, at approximately 6 am as she was getting ready to feed her newborn son, Jayden, just 15 days old. The last time I saw her was around 8pm the night before, while brining her home for the evening as she loved spending her days with her Mom whom was also her best friend. I can remember helping her up the 3 flights of stairs to her apartment with her newborn son Jayden and 2 year old daughter Jazmyn. I kissed them all goodnight and told them I would see them the in the morning.
The next morning around 830am Tabitha’s husband Terrance called from work to say he could not get a hold of Tabitha by telephone and wanted us to check on her, My wife Tammy tried to call Tabitha and could not get an answer. I was just getting out of bed. My wife asked me to go and check on Tabitha as she usually called by then to see if her Mom could pick her up and bring her to our house for the day. I remember thinking that Tabitha was probably just sleeping in because after all she was a new Mom and was very tired. I leisurely finished my breakfast and got dressed and proceeded to go to my daughter’s apartment a little down the road.
As I was driving to my daughter’s apartment I remember silently laughing to myself as just a few days prior Tabitha had inadvertently got locked out on her balcony by her 2 year daughter Jazmyn. My silent laughter suddenly turned to concern as I drove up and did not see her on the balcony. I buzzed her apartment and could not get a response, As a tenant was coming out I hurried and got the door and started to run up the 3 flights of stairs as now I was starting to panic that something was wrong. I heard some children crying and was hoping it was not my grandchildren. I got to the door and confirmed that it was Jazmyn and Jayden crying. I proceeded to call for Tabitha to no avail, now being scared I loosened the screws to the plate over the lock and opened the door to find the chain attached. I continued to call for Tabitha and still got no response. I proceeded to push the door in and ran into the apartment.
I remember seeing Tabitha lying on the floor in the hall with the babies’ bottle in hand as I shook her to see if I could get her to respond. I noticed Jazmyn holding Jayden on Tabitha’s bed as if she was protecting him. They were both crying. I called 911 and started CPR on my own child as I kept telling her she had two children to raise and could not leave them. I remember it seemed like forever for the paramedics to arrive as I so desperately tried to get some kind of response from her and cried for help. The paramedics finally arrived and knocked on the door; I hurried and went to the door. The paramedics took over for me and tried to revive my daughter as I tended to the children. I called my wife Tammy and told her to come over as something was wrong. She came over and the paramedics advised us that Tabitha had passed on. They told us that she had been gone at least three hours. I remember Tammy asking why does’ God hate me so much. I tried to comfort her as I was trying to comprehend the severity of the situation. I remember becoming nauseas and sick to my stomach, I felt as though I must have been dreaming a horrible dream, and all I wanted to do was to wake up, it just didn’t seem real.
So many emotions consumed my thoughts since this dreadful day, Dealing with guilt that maybe we could have done something to prevent her death. I started to blame myself and others for not being there when she needed us the most. I became angry at Tabitha for leaving her children and all her loved ones too soon. At times I still feel a complete sense of emptiness because she is no longer physically present.
I cherish her memories, some good and some bad, some make me happy and some make me sad. I am reminded of her through words and through songs, I miss her more and more as the days go on. I do take comfort in knowing that in Gods wisdom he has called Tabitha home and released her from the bonds of sin to welcome her into his presence, so that she may enjoy eternal light and peace. Although Tabitha’s life on earth is done, her journey to eternal life has begun; we love and miss you every single day. May God bless and keep you until we meet again.
From the Family of Tabitha Lee (Thibeault) Merchant We would like to thank all our family friends and the community, although there are no words to express the heartfelt gratitude we feel for your overwhelming thoughts, prayers and support for our family during our darkest hour. Our hearts will never forget the things that made it feel so light. It will keep in loving memory your smiles so warm and bright. The words of real encouragement that kept us from despair, the little deeds of thoughtfulness that softly say you care
In Our Hearts
We thought of you today, but that is nothing new, we thought of you yesterday and days before that too. We think of you in silence, we often speak your name. Now all we have are memories, and your picture in a frame. Your memory is our keepsake, with which we’ll never part. God has you in his keeping. We have you in our hearts.
Tony & Tammy Thibeault & family
