Eulogy

Shared by Christine Zhao on May 3, 2019

I never imagined that my father’s own funeral would be happening so soon in my life, though I know I’m only one of many who lost a parent to cancer so young.I thought when I had gotten to this point, our family would have regrets: things that my dad never got to experience or things we never got to say to him.

But the only regret I have is not able to be with him in my final moments because he unfortunately passed so suddenly. My dad died in peace and his suffering was not so prolonged as it could’ve been his final days. He passed away on Easter Sunday after being well taken care of for those months following his diagnosis, always meeting a friend for dinner or lunch and never needing to be lonely in his last days. He was lucky to have all of you around him, such devoted friends to my close father, and I am lucky that you were able to be with him when I was not able to. He always carried an careless optimism with him that couldn’t be taken from him even in his hardest moments, when he was in the hospital the first time around or even when he lost his sight or ability to move. He was patient when both my mother and I could be short-tempered, always knew where I could find anything in the house, and approached every situation with a thoughtful meticulousness. He would always be selfless when it came to me, his daughter. Even when we were toasting him the night I found out he passed, I knew he would’ve wanted me to take the fuller cup because he was always been thinking of me.

I remembered how much he had wanted to see and raise his grandchildren. He had always been so gentle with me as a child: one of my favorite pictures is of him balancing me on his lap as I played with his glasses, and I’m sure he would’ve been unimaginably happy raising my own as a grandfather. I’m so sad he couldn’t do that, never got the chance to, but I know he is resting in peace now after so much suffering from this disease. He was a good-hearted person and we will always remember him in our hearts.

学军安息主怀 by 长虹

Shared by Xuejun Forever on May 3, 2019

因祂活着我有一天,
会渡生命河,人生苦难,
一一攻克;藉主耶稣,
战胜了死亡,我将看到,
祂荣耀光,见祂活着。
(圣诗节选)


我认识赵学军(EUGENE)一家很多年了,从小孩子4,5 岁起 我们两家就成了朋友。一直以来,我们都很感悟做为一个年轻的移民家庭,我们所面对的种种困境和挑战:感到疑惑困苦时我们深度交谈,适逢喜事时我们相聚举杯;节假日我们两家一起郊游,种菜季节他们总是出现在我家后院,我家门铃不响了,也是学军专程跑来修……他特爱吃我包的饺子,每次赞不绝口,直到吃得心满意足。后因病出门很少了,但曾记得海雁一说MARY包饺子,似乎具有极大的推动力,他欣然会来到我家…我家那后院的韭菜,那香椿树,那梨花,桃花,无花果树,处处都留下了学军悉心栽培的照料……两家都因为孩子上高中搬远了点,仍经常联络不断。

信主以后,我们一直期望学军重生得救,他似乎很少去教会,主内交通也不太多。我常常感叹,期盼着弟兄姐妹们都有灵命的增长,祝福事业与家庭生活健康快乐。

学军病重以来,我们为他和家人一直在恳切地祷告,希望他能真正认识这位又真又活得神,掌管天地万有的神,借着神医治的大能身心灵得自由。自此,一家人得到方方面面,特别是教会主内弟兄姐妹的极大宽慰与照料。

借着大家的爱心与关怀,家人悉心的陪伴和守护,那份恩情与眷爱,如我们那在天上的父无微不至在每日看顾我们,使学军深受感动,每每提起,他都感恩不尽!记得那天我与友人带他一起去吃饭,我看见他眼中噙满了泪水,声音哽咽地说:“一想到大家都随叫随到来看我,帮我,为我祷告,太感动了,我都想哭。”此情此景我深刻领悟到神在借着这苦难使他的灵命在成长:渐渐地他经历了神的大爱!也正如歌中唱到:我知道谁掌管明天,他更有了盼望,更加学会了依靠神!

因圣灵的感动使他再次经历了神,直至他临终,他都告白说,“感恩有你们,我预备好了,虽然就要离开这世界,但我相信有永生,我可以回到主怀中!”

复活节那晚,学军安息主怀中!临终前,他等到了再次握住了太太海雁的手……

学军安息主怀

(藏头诗祭)

家俊杰亦英才
贯中西琢自然
心儒雅温文静
居乐业友善亲
劳不堪悲伤苦
恩赐恵平安度
怀抱真情悟神遇
回路转忘忧归

这就是他用他短暂而又年轻的生命,充满善智地诠释出一新生命的讯息,奏响重得自由的凯歌。复活节当日他虽离去,但已得主的信息,就是“因祂活着,我能面对明天,因祂活着,不再惧怕!”何等的安详致远。

我坚信,学军已安息主怀中,他虽离去却孕育了新的生命和新生活的开始他,我们和我们在天上之父,我们有永生,将有一天会再见面,永远在一起,在天国得享其乐,自由自在! EUGENE, 我们永远怀念你!


2019年5月
MARY长虹之书以祭

​Eulogy for Dr. Xuejun (Eugene) Zhao ‐‐- by ID Osifade

Shared by Xuejun Forever on May 3, 2019

Good morning Everyone!

Thank you for being here. It’s an honor to stand before you to say a few words about my dearest friend and brother – Dr. Xuejun (Eugene) Zhao (Mr. Eugene, as he would prefer I call him).
I thank God for the priceless opportunity of meeting Mr. Eugene for the first time when I joined the Patent Office back in August 2012. And, I am especially grateful to God for his parents (still alive today) – who raised such a remarkable, morally sound & exceptionally brilliant human being in Mr. Eugene, along with his younger brother Xuemin.
While at the PTO, Mr. Eugene generously shared his wealth of knowledge in work‐related matter & beyond (e.g., Chinese teas – types, their origin, use, season(s) e.t.c.). On several occasions, we carpooled to work together, rode on the train, had lunch, and even went fishing together with friends – it’ll be my first and only fishing experience.
Mr. Eugene’s pure, gentle and kind soul made him, arguably, the most genuine & humble person I have ever met. Although very heavily decorated, academically, he never looked down on anyone; he was intentional about making sure that you felt comfortable and welcome around him. He sought to serve & understand, rather than to be served & understood.
His love for his immediate family – his wife & [especially] his daughter Christine, was hard to miss. In conversations, he referred to his daughter (Christine) as “his Christine” and not merely Christine. In turn, if I had to ask about her, I said for e.g., how is “your Christine” doing? Also, his love for his broad community of friends, far & wide, speaks for itself.
While his journey since late 2017 may have been extremely tough, he found the strength & fortitude that he needed to cope with his grueling situation through your love for him, your support & prayers. Through it all, we had every reason to thank God in every step of the way & celebrate the fact that he was not (and never) alone, that his appetite (for food) remained intact, and that God kept him from any prolonged form of unbearable pain.
In the end, it was clear that there was a peace (from God) – a peace that passeth all understanding, resting firmly on his heart; completely replacing any fear of an unknown (life after death) with the joy of life with Christ in Heaven. Christ, in whom he had now grown to believe and love.
On behalf of my family & I, I say farewell to my dearest friend & brother – Mr. Eugene. We love & miss YOU!

Eugene Eulogy from Nanlin Wang

Shared by Nanlin Wang on April 30, 2019

Distinguished guests, dear family member of Eugene, it is my greatest honor to stand here to express our deep miss to Eugene on behalf of his friends and alumni.

I still remember the moment when I met Eugene seven years ago. In the gym of the community, I saw a thin, tall, and kind man in his middle age. He was hale and hearty and brought a teenage girl, his daughter. She now grows up and is a college student in Rice University. He took the initiative to introduce himself. We realized that we came from a same university and worked in a same industry, and started to become close. From then on, we found that we share a lot of hobbies and gradually we become one of each other’s best friends.

Eugene is a man of integrity. He hates the injustice and evil in Society. He actively took part into the social activities where he has the opportunities to fight for the bright and hope.

Eugene is a man full of compassion. He had an enormous capacity to give of himself.  He nurtured and honored his many friendships with a generous and giving soul. He listened and he consoled. He was a friend for many people. He always tried to help those he knew or those he even never met but need help. One of his wills is to contribute to those lovely children who lost their families.

Eugene is a man of optimism. In his last several weeks, although he lost his vision and become severe weak, he never gave up his smile. I still remember two week ago, we talked in the phone and he told me he would appreciate the everyday the god gave him.

Eugene is brilliant and knowledgeable. He ranked second in the college entrance exam in the Hubei province of China, and admitted into the Tsinghua University, one of the most prestigious universities in the world. After he graduated from George Mason University with a Ph.D. degree, he then joined Advanced Micro Devices, an always tough competitor to Intel, where he became a famous scientist in the semiconductor industry. He once proudly told me: Nanlin, guess what, I introduced Steve Jobs to give a speech. He laughed. He then joined USPTO, for the family reunion, and also for severing this country.

He loved to smile, and you can always see a smile face from him when you talked to him. He was never too busy to share his love of life with those around him. He taught me how to differentiate all kinds of red wines. He shared his knowledge with me from an electric circuit to a historical story. To me, he is my best friend, my kind elder brother, and my respected senior.

Eugene taught me how to live with dignity, humor and kindness. When the good lord finally called, how to meet him with courage and with the joy of the promise of what lies ahead.

From him, I learned how to cherish the gift of life, and how to live every day to the fullest.

From him, I learned how to contribute to our community, our society, our country, and those who we love.

From him, I learned never to be defeated by a failure or a disease. He showed us how setbacks can strengthen.

Well, Eugene, we're going to remember you for exactly that and much more, and we're going to miss you.

Your decency, sincerity, and kind soul will stay with us forever. So through our tears, let us know the blessings of knowing and loving you, a great and noble man. 

Eugene Eulogy from Fan Tsang

Shared by Xuejun Forever on April 30, 2019

Dear friends and family gathered here today.

This day is a very difficult one for all of us.

I want to thank Haiyan for allowing me to say a few words about Eugene. Hello everyone my name is Fan Tsang and I am a supervisor patent examiner at the US Patent and Trademark Office.

Eugene and I worked in the same unit in the Patent Office for many years.

I got to know Eugene mostly through work, where he was highly intelligent and a great colleague. However, as I got to know him over the years, he also became a great friend. I know I speak for everyone when I say how much he will be missed.


I am glad to have this opportunity to share just a few of my memories of Eugene with you.

One of the best things about having Eugene as a colleague was that he always had a positive attitude and was willing to give you a hand, something I’ve been grateful for myself on numerous occasions.There have been many times when I needed to ask Eugene for help or assistance in looking for some technical documents, and Eugene would always help and devote his full attention to making sure I was satisfied.

And I know I am not alone in that.

Whatever challenges you had, just having Eugene around made you feel better, and we all got to know his quick smile and ready words of encouragement.

Eugene was also an outstanding organizer.During his work life in the Patent Office, he organized many holiday parties and luncheons for fellow co-workers. So lots of us had a wonderful time during our gathering.

I still remember the fishing trip he organized about four years ago.It was my first fishing trip.We went to the Potomac River with other 10 co-workers.We caught big rock fishes and everyone had a great time.The day after the fishing trip, I asked him how he cooked the fish.He replied, “Fish soup”.Then, I said “it must be delicious and we should go to fish more often”.However, we were both busy and had never to go to fish again.

I am very impressed the way he was fighting against multiple cancers. One day, I asked him how he can handle all the side effects and emotional up and down during the cancer treatments.He told me that a positive attitude toward cancer treatments was as important as the treatment itself.Each time I visited him at the hospital, he was always in good spirits. This was the type of person that Eugene was, and I am very glad I got a chance to know him.

Eugene, we will miss you.

Thank you.

From Chusong Xiao, a friend from Bay Area California

Shared by Chusong Xiao on May 13, 2019

Dear Haiyan and Christine,

There are no words to tell you how sorry I am after I heard your loss. I got to know Eugene (Lao Zhao) back to year 2000 when he got a job in AMD, I were lucky to made friend with him through my roommate Yanfeng, a long term classmate of Eugene. During those  years he worked and lived in bay area, we three always hung around to go hiking, chatting and having dinner together. He was always smiling and talkative every time we met him, and he was always sharing us experiences and interesting stories when he was at school, most importantly  he taught us real american culture from east coast. I learned  a lot from him.  In additional, he always willing to help us whatever we needed.

He always had positive attitude to life regardless how difficult it was. In the last year when he lived in Bay Area, he was diagnosed to have brain tumor and  needed a major surgery. we were so worried about him, however he was so optimistic and told us not to worry, he would survive through surgery, in fact as he said, he made it after 12 hours of surgery and he never felt  it is the end of the world. I was watching him recovered well and got stronger and stronger.   As he told us, he would never give up.

I am so grateful to have such a wonderful friend together during his time in Bay Area California, Eugene's smile, wisdom and passion to life, like himself , will always be remembered forever. We missed him! 

My deepest condolence,

Chusong Xiao 

May 12th, 2019

From LinChun

Shared by Xuejun Forever on April 28, 2019

人和人的相逢相知相守都是缘分,海雁和学军今生的缘分是前世的约定。如果重来一次,在那次相遇的刹那,海雁还是会执手学军,选择陪伴他走过生命中每个重要的时刻,纵然期间有万千苦难和艰辛需要她承担。

爱情最吸引人的固然是在年少的时候享受彼此的青春芳华,而真正持久的是在朴素而庸俗的生活相濡以沫,不离不弃。学军生前多年和脑瘤和癌症抗争,海雁一直都是他身后最大的支持和靠山。给予关怀,给予鼓励,创造最好的让学军修养的条件。无论她在世界哪个角落出差,她的心都时时刻刻的挂记着学军。海雁的母亲前年过世的时候正逢学军癌症确诊之时,海雁五天之内就从国内回来,因为还要赶着回来带学军去看医生,获取其他医生的会诊意见。
学军在生命的最后时刻是牵着海雁的手走到世界那一头。他怀着她最深的爱走到上帝的爱的那一头。虽然他的生命短暂,却真如夏花绚烂,都因为着满满的爱。

忆学军

Shared by Sue Chen on April 27, 2019

      我和学军在PTO认识。那时他来PTO工作不久,恰逢春节,就张罗着邀请PTO工作的中国人聚一聚。那天来了好几十人,还有外面律师事务所的人。他一直跑前跑后,一会儿招呼大家吃饭,一会儿收钱记账,连饭都没有好好吃。

        熟知之后,才知道我们是大学校友;他女儿和我女儿一般大,还在同一所高中。
       此后在PTO的几年里,学军组织过多次聚会。不论身体如何,工作是否忙碌,他都是一如既往的热心。
       学军17年11月突然发病,自此开始了17个月艰辛卓绝的人生最后旅程。纵有千言万语,也难描述他经历的苦痛,仅以此拙文记录下来他去世前一天我们见面的情景。
        4/20我们几个朋友带他去GMU看一看。他之前和炯平打电话,言语中透露很想念自己的母校。小丹是个特别热心快肠的人,知道学军有这个心思就马上行动,提议4/20周六带他去看一看。那天我,陈彬和小丹一家来接学军。学军很兴奋,一直感慨想不到还能回母校看看。我们把车停在靠工学院最近的车库,推着他去工学院楼。学军眼睛已经看不见了,但听力恢复了不少。炯平一路详细介绍到了什么地方。学军记忆力还非常好,每听到一个名字就马上回应出这个地方之前的状况。听说GMU现在发展得非常好,学军由衷感到自豪和欣慰,因为这里也有他的一份贡献。他原来工作的公司有旧仪器要处理,他就去争取来捐给了GMU,给了工学院很大帮助,当时的院长还特地写信感谢他。一会儿小丹大儿子请我们所有人去餐厅吃饭。学军食欲不错,很喜欢吃鸡蛋卷,配上墨西哥风味酱料,连称好吃。还记得小丹告诉学军鸡蛋卷是皮和馅一块吃,学军就用刀把鸡蛋卷切成整整齐齐的小块块。回来的路上,学军感慨万千,他最后的愿望就是见女儿一面。我当时还想,学军状况不错,思维清晰敏捷,即使维持现状安然渡过夏天应该不会有太大问题。没想到这一天与学军在一起的两个小时是我们在一起的最后时光。

        逝者已矣,学军所有的劳苦愁烦都已经卸下,交托主怀。他不论肉体上还是精神上有多大的痛苦,但站在你面前的他永远是笑着的。他的坚强,他的乐观,他的热忱是留给我们的永恒记忆。

From Niraj Subba, a mentee and friend of Xuejun

Shared by Xuejun Forever on April 27, 2019

Dear Haiyan and Christine,

I am sorry to hear of your loss, and pray for the strength to get you both through this. I first met Xuejun in Dr. Ioannou's lab back in January of 2000. He was then finishing his Ph.D and was about to leave for AMD. Later, we crossed paths again when I went to AMD for internship and then as a full time employee. I got to know him well during those couple of years. He was my mentor and a friend, guiding me and helping me during my time there.

I am forever grateful for the time we spent together in California, and have fond memories of his intellect, wisdom and compassion that he showed towards us all. He was an amazing and wonderful person. While it hurts that he left us so early, looking back and now, he has left an indelible mark by shaping my career and making me a better person. He will never be forgotten. 

Niraj

From Xingwei

Shared by Xuejun Forever on April 28, 2019

只见过学军几面,没有深聊过。大街上偶遇,恐怕一时半会想不起来名字。总体来说,老赵看起来是个厚道的人, 也是个智者。

相反,对海雁就熟悉多了,因此知道老赵十多年来的病情。可贵的是,海雁十多年来不离不弃的陪伴着老赵,毫无怨言;同时在工作上精益求精,对女儿的教育一丝不苟。另外,跟老赵一样,她也热心公益,曾经担任过好几任的校友会主席与基金/世行的中国职员协会主席。几年前,海雁成为基金职工委员会的首位中国籍委员。自十七个月前学军疹断出肝癌晚期之后,海雁几乎尝试尽了所有中外可能的治疗方法;好几个人在追悼会上都提起过这些疗法。如果没有这些努力,很难设想学军能够支撑十七个月。

老赵的一生是不幸的,也是幸运的。我想他最大的幸运也许就是娶了这样一位近乎完美的老婆。天道虽然无常,老赵一生的幸福总量却并不比我们这些苟活者缺斤少两。

安息吧,老赵。

写给赵学军哥的纪念词 by Xiao Liu

Shared by Xuejun Forever on April 30, 2019

我搬来DC的时间很短,和学军哥接触过几次。每次回想起来,总是那么鲜活生动,犹在昨日。

记得那次我去送东西,海雁姐出差不在,于是我和学军哥约在地铁站见面。本想只是几分钟打个照面,没想到聊得一见如故,在地铁站就聊了快一个小时。有件趣事也许海雁姐不知道。我发现学军哥嘴边有黄色的印记,便提醒他。他狡黠地一笑:“刚刚吃了芒果,忘记把嘴抹干净了。别告诉你海雁姐哦,因为我对芒果过敏,她平时不让我吃。”说完哈哈大笑。好一个可爱又直率的大哥!我也哈哈大笑,亲切的感觉油然而生。这是我俩第一次见面。

之后我们又见过几次。学军哥和海雁姐都是社会活动的积极分子和热心义工。2017年9月,RUC组织烧烤校友迎新活动,其他学弟学妹们在嬉笑打闹,谈天说地,学军哥全程为学弟学妹们烧烤,默默付出,任劳任怨。若我们需要一片绿叶,我知道他一定是朴实无华、踏实靠谱的那一位,一定是舍己为人、“化作春泥更护花”的那一位。

最后一次见面,是学军哥癌症确诊之后。他面庞消瘦,却眼神依然闪闪发亮,情绪依然乐观积极,不变的依然是爽朗大方的笑声,言语间依然透着对生命无限的热爱和希望。

这几天我思考了参加葬礼对我的意义:生的纪念,死的安乐。学军哥,祝您一路走好,在天堂平安喜乐。臧克家的诗送给您:“有些人活着,他已经死了。有些人死了,他还活着”。

Shared by Justin Hua on April 27, 2019

今天在群里看到武建平同学转发的消息,知道高我们一届的学军师兄走了,非常震惊和惋惜!在清华读书期间,我和学军师兄同住一个楼层,过道水房活动室,常常见面,有一年暑假还一起去校外参加学生活动,印象中的“老赵”是一个很智慧而厚道的人。来美国后,可能是03或04年,又在硅谷一次聚会上见到师兄,听他谈起在DC地区的中美交流与社团活动,感觉师兄十分活跃,没想到那一别竟成永诀…… 愿学军师兄在天堂安息,愿师兄的家人节哀顺变,保重身体。师兄一路走好!

学弟 华军

2019年4月26日

缅怀学军学长

Shared by Jianping Wu on April 26, 2019

我与学军学长在学校时并不熟识。几年前初到DC地区时,经费燕文介绍后,与学军学长有几面之缘。有一次是学军学长送美国专利局的同事移居佛罗里达,几人在一起吃饭。再有一次是学军学长牵头组织同事和朋友新年聚会,我受到邀请。第二年时,又逢新年,我因工作忙,没有参加学军组织的聚会。之后从微信群里看到学军学长发的消息,告知大家他正在同癌症作斗争,感谢大家的支持。前日噩耗传出,终成永别。学军学长在梅森大学读书时,曾任学生组织负责人,热心为中国同学服务。他的女儿学业优异。衷心祝愿学军学长在天国得到永远的快乐和安宁。

学弟 武建平
二零零九年四月二十六日

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