. I don't know where to begin.. I've been crying all day ..my heart aches like it did 4 years ago, it just doesn't stop there is no end to the pain,despair ,loss, emptiness,wishing ,hoping,praying, and a million other sad lonely feelings ,can't name them, all.. I just miss you so very very much, sometimes I can't go on this tribute because all I do is cry cry and cry. I keep remembering how you would pretend you were feeling fine ,so that I wouldn't cry, I cried anyway when You could not see me .today I am so empty in side,crying all day, could not get to go to the cemetery, Lyn working .Robin hurt her arm and could not get here.... I have beautiful flowers all ready to take to you ...I can't get those words you yelled at me that day
I told you to get up to go to the Dr,, you didn't want to go.. you (said Adeline I am dying I'm dying, what's the use of going to see the Dr )
I can't get that sound to go away,those words, I refused to believe.I yelled back to you."" Stop saying that ,you are not dying , don't ever say that again ""and you didn't ,you think you hid it from me. But it is etched in my mind and pierces my heart.. because you would not say what you wanted to say those last days ,because you didn't want to see me cry...Fred if only we could have said the things that are now gone, left unspoken till we meet again.. please know I have so many regrets,I more or less made you stop saying what you felt inside because I Told you Never! To say it again and you didn't ..you left me wishing I bit my tounge that day, and I will regret it the rest on my life...The flowers I have ARE from my Pets rehearsal dinner ..a day before his wedding...YOU were there I took you with me his wife is precious she shares your birth date 9/19. I had a very special dance with Michael and all I could think of was you.....big Michael waved your handkerchief
When the Bride and Groom walked down the dance floor .....he gave it to me and I gave l
It to Rick to treasure......... I must say see you one sunny day because I will never say Good by.....hold my hand keep me strong help me to adjust I try ,try try, so hard but at times I slip into that place I left you ,so dark and cold.. but I will love you only and always .high as the Ocean and As Deep as the sky that's eternal ..after all these years.........❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️