ForeverMissed
CELEBRATNG THE LIFE OF
JOOSEP EEDI JUHKAM
22 MARCH 2000 - 13 MAY 2021

You always lived in the moment and enjoyed life in full.

You are in us, you are part of us, you are in our hearts forever Joosu...

Head ja toredat seilamist ükskõik kus sa ka ei viibiks, me oleme sinuga, kallis Joose...

Born a millennial baby on a cold but sunny winter snow-covered day in Estonia and then…..

  • A New Yorker and survivor of 9/11
  • Thailand elementary school, sailing, swimming, boats and beaches 
  • Bangladesh middle school and rickshaw races, tiger searching, python hugger, coral reefs
  • USA high school, friends, football, skiing, camping, biking, boats yards in Rye Neck, New York
  • California Love - the ocean, the air, marine science, boat yard work in Monterey Bay, his close close friends and roommates
Did you know this about Joosep?

  • As a baby had a family nickname of ‘konn’ (Estonian for ‘frog’), and ‘banaani mees’ (Estonian for ‘banana man’, for his love of bananas)
  • Could play the drums, bass guitar, baritone horn, piano and recorder flute.
  • A drummer, guitarist and singer in a rock band from age 11-13 while living in Bangladesh; sang at the boys honor choir with performances in Bali and Hong Kong…. And also suffered Dengue fever not once but twice
  • A sailor and not afraid to manage his own boat, sometimes in rough waters in Thailand.
  • Chosen to be one of two team captains of the Rye Neck football team in his senior year, after having played only one year of football ever, during his junior year.
  • Lighting manager,  then stage manager in Rye Neck High School theatre productions
  • Declared ‘MOST HUGGABLE’ and with the ‘BEST LAUGH’ in his high school yearbook.
  • A brother of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity at Cal State Monterey
  • An excellent cook and provider of nourishment by the best of hugs
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
13 March 2022

One year on since our Joosep departed our world to God’s home in heaven…..

Joosep died on 13 May 2021. Joosep’s memorial service was held on 25 May 2021 at Mission Memorial Park, in Monterey, California where he was a studying Marine Science.

Joosep’s Burial Service was held on 1 July 2021 at Vigala Maarja Church, Estonia where Joosep was baptised. As was his grandfather Haljand. On this day Joosep’s ashes were buried next to his great, great grandparents in Vigala Cemetery.

It has been a journey of endless agonizing grief and disbelief, sadness and tears, questions and coping with the painful reality of the loss of Joosep.

We are profoundly grateful for the prayers, good thoughts, gestures, and support that we have received. Your support helps us to stay strong and get through the most painful times. Our heartfelt thank you to all of you for being there for us!

Joosep asked us to keep him in our hearts, and we ask you to keep him in your memories. We miss Joosep. Three simple words that carry such a heavy weight of indescribable feelings.

We hope that Joosep’s memory page can be a source of joy and inspiration to you. You see, Joosep was a genuine joy. A social, caring person. One who also took on the burdens of others, without complaint, indeed with pleasure and commitment. Keep posting. Tell your stories and share your memories of Joosep.

We’ve put more photos and videos. This site will stay. Do visit now and again, please.

As you visit, we invite you to begin by reading this below Open Letter that we share….
Tiia and Robert


.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Open letter - Tribute to Joosep and the pain we share 

Losing Joosep is not only our family’s loss.

The world lost a young man who would have been a wonderful husband, caring and loving dad, empathetic and strong leader, devoted environmentalist, patriot of freedom and free speech, fun and reliable friend, respectful and helpful neighbor, trustworthy and hardworking colleague, unselfish and compassionate human being.

Joosep was a caring and kind soul who never hesitated to help or protect the others. He always stood up against unfair and unjust. There was no work that he wouldn’t do, no heavy lifting was heavy enough for him and his loving bear hug could heal any sadness. We are certain that Joosep became a guardian angel, a “heaven strongman” to protect us all.

At Joosep’s memorial we said that Joosep, our dear beloved son, brother, godchild, nephew, cousin, and friend…… brought joy and meaning to us. To the world ….

We said we were lucky to be with him here on earth, and that he remains, for us and all living beings, the light that shines bright and carries us forward….

“There are those who bring a light so great to the world that even after they are gone the light shines bright."

Joosep shines bright, in our hearts, deeply in our souls.

------------------
“There are not better or worse times. There is only the present moment.”

Joosep lived his life, with curiosity, with passion, without hesitation…. Always for the moment.

He was a lovely boy and a wonderful young man, full of compassion for others and the natural world around him.

We always trusted him and we now forgive him, just as we ask his forgiveness of us for being so far away, not being able to give him a hug and simply be next to him.

We believe he found his peace and better place to be. We asked that he please does not worry about us and knows that he lives on in our hearts and memory forever.

Over the months we have noticed his presence around us in the form of a butterfly, waving leaves, singing birds, bright fireflies, unexplainable coincidences,

soothing wind, ocean waves, gentle raindrops or warm sunshine and rainbows.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What happened with Joosep?

One year ago, our world came crashing down. Shattered beyond recognition.

We received a late-night call from California to Colombo that our dear son Joosep, recently turned 21 years old, was killed in a car crash near his university campus. Joosep died instantly.

Our hearts stopped a second time when we learned of Joosep’s handwritten and personally addressed goodbye notes. We learned the accident was intentional. 

Joosep did not leave us without saying his final goodbyes. He explained his thinking, and he said his peace.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Disbelief, shock and pain took over our lives. 

The depth of pain experienced is very hard to explain in words. These flooded us:
  • Shock
  • Physical revolt…. our own immediate physical pain
  • Disbelief and difficulty accepting the inconceivable
  • Unbearable emotional pain
We have been
  • Confused, confounded, distraught and distressed
  • Disoriented, helpless
  • At times Lost, at times Depressed
We experience
  • Remorse and Regret for what is now, compared to what might have been…. His dreams not fulfilled, our dreams shattered.
  • Unavoidably contemplating whatever failures there may have been on our part as parents over the years.
All turning to
  • Anger
  • Emptiness
  • Sorrow
  • Pervaded by the unending deep deep sense of Loss
We had always lived as family for each other and now there is an empty space, an empty chair, a missing voice

Confusing as it is, conjoined with all of that is our sense of:
  • Hope, understanding, and deep deep gratitude for JOOSEP in our lives, which is the gift and the will to live on….. All the memory of joy and laughs and love that Joosep brought to our lives and lives of so many others.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As said, our son ‘s car crash was not an accident in the sense one normally means. Joosep decided to end his own life. He felt he had reasons.

This is difficult to admit. More difficult to speak about. Even more difficult to accept. 

Difficult enough to lose a friend, partner, or loved relative. Difficult enough to lose a parent. Difficult enough to lose a sister or brother, especially at a young age.

Unimaginable to lose Joosep. Impossible to accept the loss of our child. As parents: birthed, nurtured, raised, supported, and learned from.

Inconceivable to lose our Joosep this way. We know other parents, recently many too many, who sadly have lost their children who decided to end their lives. As with them, so with us…. the emotions and questions are different. Contrary to an accident being caused by some other factor, there is no one to blame, like if someone or something else caused death, to whom a parent could direct their blame and anger and frustration.

We certainly cannot and do not blame Joosep.

As painful as it is to say, we respect his decision, although we still cannot accept the sheer loss. We know it; but cannot emotionally accept it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In fact, there appears no way to reconcile his passing. It doesn’t matter how he died, why he died.

What is most painful for us is that he simply is no longer with us.

Ultimately: a deep yearning for his physical and total human presence, and the wish to see him live all that he hoped for, and all that we hoped for him.

We are overwhelmed by the finality of it.

Difficult to acknowledge, impossible to accept. Yet we learn day by day to cope with the anguish that will continue for us until we too pass on.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From Joosep we have the notes he wrote and left for us. One each to mom, dad, elder sister, younger brother. One to his two best friends at his university.

And a separate note he called his explanation, parts of which we share here. One small page, letting us know why he was to do what he finally did.

He said:

There is very little that can change my mind.” He said, “ever since I can remember, I have had this inkling feeling that I don’t belong on this earth

I have always questioned life and the reason why I am here

More often than not I have a voice in my head (sound like my own) telling me to just go and end it, and I have come to that point.”

He also wrote: “Certain failures and an inability to maintain motivation have also led me here.”

He went on to say:

I want everyone to know that I am not leaving in sorrow or full of regret, but rather happy for the life I have managed to live. This may be still early in my life but at least I get to choose how I leave and without disappointment.”

He said:

“I love you with all my heart.”

Joosep wanted us to know that he was content with his decision.

His only wish for all of us was to keep him in our hearts.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We trust Joosep; that his decision was thoroughly made. He sounded clear and thoughtful. He sounded lucid and in search of meaning. His clear decision, with clear resolve...He was like that.

Joosep chose his pathway to what he must have felt was towards a better tomorrow beyond this world and we have to accept and respect it.

Painful as it is, yet, as parents we respect our son’s decision, and we ask everyone to respect it as well. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

While saying all this, also we wish to point out that, one year down the road, we realise that Joosep may have needed specific support. Nothing concrete in this sense. We had no inkling of concern from him, no unusual sayings or messages from him. Indeed he was in touch, we spoke. In our last conversations he talked of the year and years ahead, we had joint plans for the coming summer.

All parents who raise and worry for their children recognize that people struggle at different points in life. Parents recognize this especially when their own children are facing difficulties, even if small ones…. Joosep too had day to day trials, like all people, with school, or work, or relationships, and even just with day to day.

Yet, with Joosep having clearly decided to take his life, we are confronted with the uncertainty that we didn’t know the extent or depth of what might have been going on in his life and with what thought in his mind. Joosep was the embodiment of positive spirit, with little tendency to dwell on or complain about difficulties. In this sense, we don’t fully know what led to or contributed to his decision.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We’d like you to understand why we avoid using the word 'suicide', and the phrase 'to commit suicide'; a historical, technical, old medical term literally conveying ‘the killing of oneself’. A phrase that somehow also assigns blame to the person.

We don't subscribe to the term 'killing'. It wrongly associates death by 'suicide'—what could actually be understood as self-determined, self-directed death due to possible mental illness or impaired health or a vision or…—with criminal or sinful or dishonourable actions. Thus unfairly stigmatising that personal decision, and the person who makes it. Joosep was, maybe, yes, a victim of circumstances, but he also made his own decision. He was his own agent, who can’t be blamed for doing what he felt needed to happen.

Our Pastor at our church in Vigala, Estonia, has said that God works in ways we don’t always know or may not understand. We do not judge Joosep.

So instead, we say, and we’d like everyone to understand and acknowledge it this way, that Joosep decided when and how to end his life.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We do not want to be misunderstood: do not take what we say about respecting Joosep's decision as generally condoning the idea of and the decision of ending one's life. Maybe because there are a million different ways to live. And living is it.

It's just that, being where we find ourselves now, looking at what he wrote, we cannot judge him. Instead, we respect him and his decision, despite that we would have counselled him as best we knew to consider other perspectives and live on, had we known what he was thinking to do.

We respect him, despite the pain of loss it means for us, and despite knowing there were and always are countless ways to learn to live in our world. And countless ways to seek help and give help to make it easier and always better. Ways that might just have given him the desire to live on.

We only regret that we couldn't have been there over those many many months we were apart—due to Covid, due to his own wish to live and work in Monterey, not remotely from our home or some other place—to help him with such a path and possible realisation. 

We would do anything to have the past back, with a future to look forward to with Joosep. To have more information, more knowledge. A chance to talk more. To have it all back. This is where the pain hits hard. Namely, that maybe one small thought exchanged, one small experience, and Joosep might have decided differently and be with us here today. Struggling maybe, unsure maybe, but still here with us. And finding a way to live life to the fullest, without pain or regret.

It is important to care and to be as aware as possible of what your children, family members, friends and just people around us, are thinking and how they are getting along. To intervene in a supportive way. To support those who it seems may be contemplating ending their lives; to help find whether another path might be right.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So of course, as parents we unavoidably revert back. We think about everything, and absolutely anything at all that is committed to memory, and we look for faults in what we might have done or not done.

Maybe it happens to all parents who lose their children in any way. It’s what is happening to us. We reconcile that this mental process will never stop.

It hasn’t been easy. We cried. We still cry.

We're not crying for him. We're crying for ourselves because he is not here with us now and because we miss him and will miss all those future times together with him that will not come to pass.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bringing us to the many moving and heartfelt condolences that we received, and to the memorializing that many of you carried out …. From Rye Neck to Portugal, from Dhaka to Bangkok, from New York to Colombo, and from the USA to Sweden to Canada and Estonia, across the world….. These literally brought and continue to bring tears of appreciation to our eyes as we read your own remembrances and stories, and look at your photos and videos.

On behalf of Kaalep, Leenu, Tiia and Robert, our most heartful thanks again for your condolences, your words and acts of support.

Your gestures and acts gave us the love and energy to bear the pain and continue on.

As said we cry for ourselves because Joosep is no longer with us.

But we also cry at the pain that others including yourselves suffer. The pain of what you have had to witness. The pain of your own loss of Joosep.

We cry with appreciation when others empathise and express sympathies because it keeps us close to Joosep.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We are changed persons.

We live on and we build back up. We create our new world loving and caring for each other, and for Leenu and Kaalep.

We live on for our family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and in respect of the memory of Joosep, who remains in our hearts.

We want you to understand where we are at as family. The struggle will go on and we ask for your understanding and support.

When we meet, or see you, or talk to each other, don't mind us, do mind us. Ask questions, don’t ask questions. It’s all ok. If we appear out of sorts at times, it is to be expected, so no worries. No need to fret. No need to be shy, and on the other hand, don’t feel you need to say anything or do anything. We will also avoid that we feel we need to say something. But also don’t be afraid to say something, or to ask something. All is good

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you for patiently letting us bear witness to suffering, to pain, to remembering, to celebrating Joosep.

This, in and of itself, helps us to cope.

This also helps us to memorialize and honour Joosep with you.

Posted by Dominica Capozucca on July 3, 2022
Good morning, 
20 years ago a very good friend of mine took the same decision as Joosep. Almost identical situations, kind of personality, unexplainable. I think about her till today. And I think too about Joosep, he is not forgotten.
Posted by roger bradshaw on June 1, 2022
 Again, I am sorry to have learned of this mysterious tragedy but, I am buoyed up by this outpouring of remembrances from people I have never met from around the world. It is truly an impressive expression of fondness and character. 
Posted by Tetsuo Ishihara on May 31, 2022
Dear Robert and Tiia,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the letter.

I will never forget the first time we met Joosep in Vermont for a big 3 family biking trip. It was very dark when we arrived, and Robert and Joosep so kindly helped us unload the bikes and other stuff from the car. Our boys were probably 12 and 14 then, while Joosep was only a year older (but I didn't know that at the time)!

My first impression of Joosep was "Wow, what a mature, kind and polite young man! I wonder how old he is? I hope Hideo and Masao grow up to be just like him!". A few days later that was followed by, "How did Robert and Tiia raise him?", "What an absolutely beautiful family!".

Those thoughts haven't changed since then. And that wonderful trip was one of the best we ever had.

My/our thoughts are with you...we are here for you.
Harry Ishihara (now in Japan)
Posted by Sarah Robertson on May 17, 2022
Hi Tiia and Robert, Kaalep and Leenu,
I had a dream about Tia, Robert and Joosep on the night of May 14th (saturday) that woke me at 4:30 am, unable to sleep afterwards. I knew the anniversary was coming up, and you'd all been heavily on my mind. Bruce told me the next day that you had posted on the tribute wall, and that I should share some things. Its been a year of terrific sadness here, knowing how hard this has been for you, and no way to really reach you, much less hug you. Of course I've asked myself a million questions on whether there was anything I ever could have said to this young man we all loved so much, to make him feel differently about his life, and living. I myself had many questions about life when I was his age, and I wish I could have shared with him how my perspective changed and evolved over time. 

I know you are trying to focus on gratitude for having him in your life, and I am trying to convert the sorrow to gratitude as well. If there is anything we can do on our end to create a legacy, let us know. He certainly maintained a legacy of kindness, and I try to let that inspire me to do better daily. I know he knew he was loved by his family and friends, but i hope he knew how far that light reached to the outer edges of his circle...

We love you all and miss you all. I'd love to share a video i found on my phone of a lovely time we all had together, I will post it to stories.

Posted by Kristel Kadak-Rahman on May 17, 2022
Dear Tiia, Robert, Leenu and Kaalep,

Thank you for sharing your open letter. Tears are flowing from my eyes uncontrollably when reading it. I have utmost respect for your entire family, for your choices and mastery to put into words your thoughts and feelings. As was Joosep, so are you incredibly beautiful, brave, warm-hearted and deep. You have been in my thoughts this entire year since May 2021. I feel and share your pain. Yet, I am aware that it cannot even start to compare to yours. Please know I will always remember Joosep, his smiley face and gentleness, the sound of his Estonian - and his drum set in Dhaka :) Please know that your family is very dear to me, even if it takes years before we meet again. With love, Kristel
Posted by Angel Taylor on May 16, 2022
Thank you for sharing your story and Joosep's story. I consider you very brave and courageous and I know as time passes, telling your story will help with the grieving process. There are far too many parents who have gone through what you have and are still going through. Keep sharing. My thoughts are with you. Angel
Posted by Levan B on May 15, 2022
Dear Robert,
It was so nice to see and talk to you in Bangkok. I have just read your anniversary message with tears. Very powerful. I admire you and your family for how you keep the memory of Joosep so alive. He was an incredible young man, who will be missed forever. I wish you the strength to go on.
My thoughts and prayers to you all! Levan   
Posted by Edward Rees on June 2, 2021
Dear Robert and the entire Juhkam Family.

There are no words to properly express my condolences properly. I wish you all well in a very difficult time. What a life well lived. I am sad I never met him. 

Edward
Posted by Jorge Tito on June 1, 2021
We are all very sorry for Joosep tragic situation.
As he was a surfer, and a sea lover, we brought this sand artwork to share our love with him and all family.
Tito’s
Posted by Muradh Mohideen on May 30, 2021
Dear Robert,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, please accept my deepest condolences. Cannot imagine what a difficult time this is for you and your family. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

Muradh
Posted by Emma Brigham on May 30, 2021
Dearest Robert and Tiia,

Words cannot begin to express how truly sorry I am to hear of your loss. The pain must be unbearable and the grief overwhelming. Your family is in our thoughts and I wish you and Tiia strength and courage for the difficult days and weeks to come. With love, Emma & Gary.
Posted by Emily Chakavarika on May 28, 2021
Dear Robert and family,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the untimely passing of your beloved son. The searing pain of loosing a child cannot be explained, and I can only imagine what you are going through as a family. You are in my thoughts and prayers and may Joosep's soul rest in peace.
Posted by Maj-Britt Isak on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert and Family,

We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your son.
Love,
Franz & Maj-Britt
Posted by Rene van Berkel on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert and family
Truly shocked by the tragic death of your beloved son, Joosep. As a parent, to lose your child is an unimaginable trauma, yet it happened in the full bloom of your son’s life. I wish you courage and strength to get through this horrible time. May he be remembered for the love and joy he brought to the people’s lives he touched. René
Posted by hanaa singer on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert, Tiia, leenu and Kaleep, Words don't come easy to me to reach out to you Tiia,Robert, Kaleep to express the deep sorrow we all feel. I cannot imagine how difficult this time is for the four of you, your families & friends.
Your 21 years with Joosep seems to have been an incredible gift—I know you realize that, and will always be grateful for the way he brought light to your family and helped all of you grow, and to expand and absorb your capacity to love.
You have so much to be proud of in Joosep’s life. Reading the tributes on the website, it is clear that he was a young man who was much loved by his peers and passionate about his interests. He was surely a young man of good character, great humour and sense of service having been raised by two wonderful parents. Tiia who i have come to love dearly and you Roberts whom I have come to respect so much. He has touched many lives across the three continents he lived in and you have people from across the world sharing in your pain today.
As they say, parents hold their children’s hands for just a little while and their hearts forever – he will surely live in your hearts and the hearts of many forever.
In this time of sorrow, mixed with gratitude for the great life that Joosep lived, please know that all your colleagues in Sri Lanka are all with you. As you take time to heal , we will be here to support and comfort you.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
Posted by Sahani Dikkumbura on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert and Tiia

We are still deeply shocked and saddened to hear the passing of your beloved son. We hope that the precious memories you have of your son will help you get through this difficult time. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family always. May his soul rest in peace.

- Wasanthi and Sahani
Posted by Patrick Keuleers on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert, Tiia and family
We are heartbroken after hearing the news of Joosep’s tragic accident. Our families have shared so many years. Words always fall short in these moments of sadness and pain, but our hearts are with you in these very difficult moments. Joosep lived his dream and his dream will continue to be lived. When we’ll admire the corals in the oceans, he will be there, in the thousand winds that blow and in the peaceful stars at night.

Love

Bo, Farah, Marleen, Patrick
Posted by Brenda Barton on May 27, 2021
Dear Robert, Tiia, family and friends,

Our hearts are with you in this period of immense grief. We have seen what deeply dedicated parents you both are, with a close, supportive family. Your children a clear reflection and wonderful product of that. Sending strength to you as Joseep transitions to his new, beautiful universe.

Brenda, Martin, Enrico
Posted by Enrico Aloi on May 26, 2021
My condolences to your family during this tough time.

I wanted to share the one interaction I had with Joosep. Even if it was just a beer one time in Sri Lanka at Coniston house. He was such an incredibly nice guy and we got along very well. I remember him telling me about his passion for marine biology. I will always remember him whenever I go diving and I hope I can help protect coral on his behalf.

We had similar interests and I wish I could have got to know him better.

My sincerest condolences,
Posted by Andrew Lawson on May 25, 2021
Mr. and Mrs. Juhkam,
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. All of the students and faculty in the College to whom I have spoken about Joosep remember him fondly. In reading the memories and stories on these pages, I am certain he was a special person that brought joy into the world. I hope knowing the impact he made brings you some peace.
Andrew Lawson
Dean of the College of Science at CSUMB
Posted by Kary Parker on May 25, 2021
Heartfelt condolences to the Juhkam Family

There are no words, only the hope and wish that your memories with Joosep will bring you comfort and solace, especially during this incredibly difficult time you are all going through.
This page is a beautiful tribute to Joosep and his life. It’s obvious the effect he had on so many people, whether they knew him briefly or for his lifetime.
Condolences to all Joosep’s friends and family. We send you love and support.

Love, Don and Kary Parker
Posted by Janet Gillespie on May 25, 2021
Dearest Robert, Tiia and family,
Our hearts are breaking for you. Though I only met Joosep a few times when he was younger he had such a kind soul and made those around him laugh. He reminds me of you and your father. He grew to be such an amazing young man so full of life. All of my family and myself send our deepest sympathy. Sending prayers and love. Praying God surrounds you with love and peace.
Love Janet and family
Posted by Kristel Kadak-Rahman on May 25, 2021
Kallid Tiia, Robert, Leenu ja Kaalep,

Ei ole sõnu, mis suudaks kirjeldada seda kurbust, mida me tunneme teie perele mõeldes. Joosep oli kaunis hing ja tema varane lahkumine südantlõhestav. Oleme leinas teiega. Mäletame Joosepit alati - Dhakast ja Pärnumaalt ja jagatud juttudest. See lehekülg siin on imeline austusavaldus tema rikkale elule. Aitäh, Joosep, et olid.

Kristel ja Rajon
Posted by Hannes Astok on May 25, 2021
Kallid Tiia ja Robert, Leenu, Kaalep,
sõnad on sellel hetkel jõuetud.
Meie kaastunne päikesepoisi Joosepi lahkumise puhul.

Maigi ja Hannes
Posted by Mona M'Bikay on May 25, 2021
Dear Tiia, dear Robert, dear Leenu and Kaleep,
We would like to express our sincere condolences to you.
It is hard to find the words to ease the heartache of losing a loved son and brother. I wish you to be guided by Joosep bright vibes. We remember him playing for AISD band in Dhaka.
We send you a lot of light to help you going through these difficult moments.
Our prayers are with you.
Rest in peace Joosep.
Kind regards,
Mona, Kairouan and Yannick
Posted by Calvin Dye Wisner on May 24, 2021
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like Joosep. He was so caring and compassionate. Throughout my early years of college he was always looking out for me. He was everything that a friend should be. I’m so honored to have memories with him. We explored Big Sur beaches together and adventured all the way down to San Diego. I love him and there’s no one I would have rather taken those trips with.
Posted by Sarinda Perera on May 24, 2021
Dear Robert, Mrs. Juhkam and family,

There are no words to express my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved son Joosep. Wishing you great courage and strength to deal with your terrible loss.

With deepest sympathy,
Sarinda.
Posted by Rebekah Granlund on May 23, 2021
I wish there was an absolutely perfect set of words to say in order to properly memorialize Joosep. I was lucky enough to have met him at the beginning of last semester, as I was his best friend Ryan's downstairs neighbor. The very first time I met him, I was greeted with a smile and a handshake as he told me his name....not often do college kids shake hands during introductions! It made me smile. I could instantly tell that he had a heart of gold. During a less than ideal semester, a highlight of it was spending time talking to Joosep out on Ryan's balcony, or when he would come hang out with my dog and I (my tiny dog absolutely adored him). Joosep was always happy to share stories of the places he had lived and traveled, always encouraging me to do so if I had the chance. He gave me a new perspective on lots of things, and I will think of him often when I think of traveling or stepping out of my comfort zone. I mistook his quietness when we first met as arrogance, and I could not have been more wrong. He just needed a minute to warm up, and the second he did, he was a friend for life. He gave the BEST bear hugs, and as someone who is big on hugs....I will always miss his. They were the absolute best. To Joosep's parents....know that you two raised the sweetest of sweetheart boys. Joosep's physical presence will be missed here forever, but he will live on in every surfing trip, days spent on the beach, and his friends here at CSUMB will cherish every moment we were lucky enough to have with him. I know I will.
Posted by Rita Paju on May 23, 2021
Kallid Robert ja pere
Mälestame sügavas kurbuses poja Joosepi surma puhul.
Mõtleme teie peale. Saadame armastus ja kalli
Tädi Mea, Rita, Debbie ja Kerry, Kaili ja Tõnu, Karley, Rikki ja Shelly
Posted by Beate Trankmann on May 23, 2021
Dear Robert,
You and your family have been constantly on my mind for the past week and it is hard to find the right lines for this message. There are no words that can provide comfort or ever fill the void that Joosep’s departure leaves. Please know however that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. My heart goes out to you. I wish you courage, strength and faith to pull through these dark times and that hope and light will eventually replace the darkness.

May Joosep rest in peace.

Sincerely,
Beate
Posted by Lianne Kuppens on May 22, 2021
Dear Titia, Robert

From Yuka I heard this incredible sad news of the loss of your son. For ever missed ! To loose a child is unimaginable, is the fear of all parents ..... and yet it happens. There are no words for such loss, for such pain .
I hope that fantastic, great memories will soon take over the deep pain you must feel now. We have great memories of Dhaka.
Sending you all lots of strength and energy.
Yuka and Lianne
Posted by Koh Miyaoi on May 22, 2021
Dear Robert and the family, I am so sorry for your unexpected loss. I am also sorry I have no word of comfort to the unimaginable pain and grief you're going through. I pray that your love and memories shared with your beautiful son will give you courage and strength. May his soul rest in peace.
Posted by Ryan Stanley on May 21, 2021
There’s soo many great and wonderful things to say about my best friend Joosep. He was a rock and a major foundation in my life, and a person that I could count on for anything and it’s hard to not be able to see him again but I feel him and I know that he is still my rock and guiding force towards making the world a better place. Me and Joosep met our freshman year at Cal State Monterey Bay, the past looking back we were soo nieve and just excited to be away from our parents and on our own. Me and him shared that sense of responsibility, we didn’t like asking for money because we both knew there is more to life than being stingy or keeping a grudge because of it. He was my best friend in college and also our friend Calvin, we were brothers throughout college. I met joosep on the first day of college took me a little while with his name but he didn’t give me much hardships, his parents already gave their kids a weird one with the double letter names. But that was something about him that interested me was the uniqueness of his name and being not from America, he was a man that had experience the world and that was something that I wanted to do with him and I know he will be there with me when I go to all the places we spoke about. Me and joosep were also roommates our sophomore year and me Calvin and him had our own hall. It was crazy to be with them it was something that we always wanted, and with COVID this got cut short which is awful, and hard. Me and joosep also took a diving class together at CSUMB, and would wake up at 6:30am to go scuba diving on Saturday morning. Yea imagine that Saturday morning this changed our priorities for the better and he would always drive us because I didn’t have a parking pass. There was soo much to Joosep he was the sweetest person and always cared for me. In life you can let pain lead you towards things that will make the world a worse place but I choose to honor joosep by carrying on our passions and making sure I can make our oceans a better place even through small change I think that would be something he could be proud of me for. You will always be my guiding light brotha rest easy and until we meet again❤️❤️
Posted by Avery Tagu on May 21, 2021
Kallid Tiia, Robert, Leenu ja Kaalep

Meie südamest tulev kaastunned teile Joosepi surma puhul. See on ka shokk meile.

Avery, Maarja, Rasmus ja Tauri
Posted by Renaud Meyer on May 21, 2021
Dear Robert and family,
Difficult to find the words to express how i want to share with you my sadness and how i wish i could help you all to go through this tragic episode.
I recall in Joosep a super active little boy when i visited your house in Bangkok many years ago and i see from the tribute to him that he had confirmed this through his youth and life as a young adult.
May he rest in peace and you find comfort and support from those who love you to go through this.
Posted by Claire Van der Vaeren on May 21, 2021
May you rest in peace, Joosep.
May the memories of your dreams warm the hearts of your family and friends.

Dear Robert and family
You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Claire
Posted by TIINA VASKA on May 20, 2021
Kallid Robert ja Tiia,

Sudamest kaastunne teile Joosepi surma puhul. Ei oska ette kujutatagi teie kurbust ja tuhjust.

teie peale moeldes,
Tiina ja Marcus
Posted by Andrea Berardo on May 20, 2021
Dear Tiia and Robert,
We heard about the tragic loss of your son. Elisa and I are deeply touched and our hearts are with you in your time of sorrow.
Elisa and Andrea
Posted by Steven Miron on May 19, 2021
Dear Robert, Tiia, Leenu and Kaalep,
I was deeply shocked and saddened to learn of the passing of Joosep. My niece, Leanne, who was Joosep's classmate, told me the tragic news. 
I have been grieving for your family since I learned about this, and as a parent, my heart is further shattered. And still, I can't imagine the depth of the pain you must be feeling.
I have seen the beautiful photos and tributes to your beloved son, whom I met in NYC when he was an infant.  My niece Leanne was very fond of Joosep. She recently saw him on zoom, and they said they would get together soon. Joosep will be dearly missed. I hope you find some solace in your memories of him.
Jonathan and Achong are also grieving. 
We send you our deepest condolences and love,
Steve, Achong and Jonathan
Posted by Besian Xhezo on May 19, 2021
Dear Robert and family,

Heartbroken to hear of Joosep's early departure. What a light he has shined - so much passion and how much accomplished already. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sincerely, Besian
Posted by Diana gao on May 19, 2021
Dear Robert and family,
I am so shocked at the passing of your beloved son, Joosep. I see such a warm, lively, bright young man coming out of these photos, memoir. My deepest condolences to you and your family. My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care.
Diana 
Posted by Jaak Ranniste on May 19, 2021
Kallis Robert ja pere,

Meie südamlikud kaastunned.

Temast nüüd lugedes on kahju et me Joosepit ei kohtanud.

Helve ja Jaak
Posted by Maret Tamme on May 19, 2021
Kallid Tiia, Robert, Leenu, Kaalep, Klaara ja Maie!

Sügav kaastunne kaotuse puhul. Oleme mõttes teiega.


Ka sisaliku tee kivil jätab jälje,
kuigi me seda ei näe.
Iga mõte, mis tuleb ja läheb,
jääb kuhugi alles.
See, mis sa naeratades kinkisid,
võib kunagi otsa saada,
aga naeratus jääb.
Rõõm, mida sa kinni püüda ei teadnud,
jääb igavesti ootama.
Isegi ütlemata jäänud sõnad
on mõttes öeldud
ja kuhugi tallele pandud.
Kuidas muidu meie lühikeste päevade arv
saab täita aja määratud salved.
Kuidas muidu üksainus silmapilk
võib kivi paigalt veeretada.


Viia, Tanel, Mari, Ada, Maret


Posted by Dominica Capozucca on May 19, 2021
Tere,
After we left Bangladesh, you and I communicated with each other once or twice. I always find it difficult to communicate with people who are not present in my daily reality. Maybe this is my way of interpreting the nomadic life we lead.
This does not mean that I forget people. Some of them are very present with me, I think about them a lot and constantly. The Kask Juhkam family is one of them.
Two weeks ago I went to Maastricht to visit Bruno, I went with Lorenzo in the car. And I always ask them about their friends, the current ones and those from other places. That time, I asked Bruno about Joosep. I don't know, it came to my memory and like a very big desire to see him, as sometimes happens to me with Fahmid or Hang Seung, for example, just to name a few.
In February 2020, Lorenzo and I went to Talinn. Not just because it's in front of Helsinki, but because it IS Talinn. The capital of Estonia. ESTONIA. The country of Tiia, Robert, Joosep, Kaalep and Leenu. Walking through the streets, I remembered when the kids had a t-shirt with the handmade flag. At the international fair in Dhaka, we shared a international stand together, and made a t-shirt combining our names. Joosep was with me selling empanadas, helping all the time. A kind and gentle boy, with a great willingness to help, to support others unconditionally.
That same year there was a football tournament at a French school, and Joosep was not part of the team. However, he came to all the practices and was always by my side, not saying much but supporting his friends. Bruno showed me a picture of that moment, Joosep is there with his cap, the greatest fan. And that's why the team photo is with him included, even if he didn't play.
Joosep was a sweet, polite boy. We all have not so good things about our character, I can't remember Joosep's, there are none. Cheerful playing drums, eating like you want to eat what he was eating at the Nordic club, going by rickshaw to Gulshan 1, jumping in the pool, singing with an angel voice with his choir and always a smile on his face.
I don't know how one copes with the loss of a child. It takes time. I send you strength, calm, time and my message that I am thinking of you and hugging you. Ma armastan sind väga ja olen kauguses koos sinuga.
Dominica
Posted by Sripalee De Silva on May 19, 2021
Dear Robert,

Deeply saddened to hear the loss of your beloved son. Eventhough he left at such a young age I am pretty sure he had a joyful and a well-lived life.

I offer my deepest condolences to you and your family at this difficult time. May the outpouring of sympathy, the kind acts of friends and family help you through this difficult time.

May he attain the supreme bliss of nirvana.

Sripalee
Posted by mohamed Muzain on May 19, 2021
I am saddened by the news of your beloved son, Our heartfelt condolence to you and your family. May God rest his soul in peace.  No words can comfort you and your family during this difficult period, Our prayers are for your family.

Muzain & Family
Posted by Kelly y Fabrice Cavallin on May 19, 2021
Dear Tiia Robert & Kaalep, our heart and all our love with you in this terribly hard moment.
Kelly, Fabrice, Giulia & Santino.
Posted by Papia Chatterjee on May 19, 2021
Dear Tiia and family

I am so so saddened to know of the passing of this beautiful human being I used to know as an ever smiling energetic young boy. My heartfelt condolences to all of you. May you find strength to bear this loss. I believe those who love us, never really leave us.
Lots and lots of love
Papia
Posted by Sabrina Lee on May 18, 2021
To the family and friends of Yoosep,

I can’t imagine the pain everyone is going through and I wish you strength to get through this painful time.

I was Yoosep’s Residential Advisor for his 1st year at CSUMB. I was the one watching over everyone who lived on my floor and was basically their big sister. He was such a positive individual and was so full of light. His energy is truly contagious! When other residents would walk pass me without saying “hi” he would be the one to always address me. We bonded, we talked, we laughed. He was always supportive in showing up to our community events. I remember every weekend he would always go out and just have fun! Seeing him and his friends walk in my hall and the small talks we would have about the fun things they did made me so happy. It crushed me when CSUMB sent the email today with this heartbreaking news. I couldn’t believe it. Though this is a painful time, I can honestly say that Yoosep has touched so many people, including myself. He is truly an inspiration and will be a reminder to myself to live life to the fullest! His light will live on!
Posted by Kanni Wignaraja on May 18, 2021
Dear Robert, Tiia, Leenu and Kaalep,

Your UNDP family and friends across the Asia-Pacific are with you through this period of deep loss. Looking through the photos and reading of Joosep's adventures, it brings to life an amazing, warm young man who was a gift to all who knew him. As Joosep loved nature - the skies, winds and oceans around the world will carry his memories, his laughter and his spirit, and always keep him close to you.

We are here for you, Kanni
Page 1 of 5

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Dominica Capozucca on July 3, 2022
Good morning, 
20 years ago a very good friend of mine took the same decision as Joosep. Almost identical situations, kind of personality, unexplainable. I think about her till today. And I think too about Joosep, he is not forgotten.
Posted by roger bradshaw on June 1, 2022
 Again, I am sorry to have learned of this mysterious tragedy but, I am buoyed up by this outpouring of remembrances from people I have never met from around the world. It is truly an impressive expression of fondness and character. 
Posted by Tetsuo Ishihara on May 31, 2022
Dear Robert and Tiia,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the letter.

I will never forget the first time we met Joosep in Vermont for a big 3 family biking trip. It was very dark when we arrived, and Robert and Joosep so kindly helped us unload the bikes and other stuff from the car. Our boys were probably 12 and 14 then, while Joosep was only a year older (but I didn't know that at the time)!

My first impression of Joosep was "Wow, what a mature, kind and polite young man! I wonder how old he is? I hope Hideo and Masao grow up to be just like him!". A few days later that was followed by, "How did Robert and Tiia raise him?", "What an absolutely beautiful family!".

Those thoughts haven't changed since then. And that wonderful trip was one of the best we ever had.

My/our thoughts are with you...we are here for you.
Harry Ishihara (now in Japan)
his Life

One year on, thank you and remember...

One year on since our Joosep departed our world to God’s home in heaven…..

It has been a journey of endless agonizing grief and disbelief, sadness and tears, questions and coping with the painful reality of the loss of Joosep.

We are profoundly grateful for the prayers, good thoughts, gestures, and support that we have received. Your support helps us to stay strong and get through the most painful times. Our heartfelt thank you to all of you for being there for us!

Joosep asked us to keep him in our hearts, and we ask you to keep him in your memories. We miss Joosep. Three simple words that carry such a heavy weight of indescribable feelings.

We hope that Joosep’s memory page can be a source of joy and inspiration to you. You see, Joosep was a genuine joy. A social, caring person. One who also took on the burdens of others, without complaint, indeed with pleasure and commitment. Keep posting. Tell your stories and share your memories of Joosep.

We’ve put more photos and videos. This site will stay, visit now and again, please.

As you visit, we invite you to begin by reading the open Letter that we shared on the about page….

Tiia and Robert
Recent stories
Shared by Nancy Pereira on May 16, 2022
I think of Joosep often, and pray that you all find comfort in each other's support.
One of my all time favorite memories of Jossep is of course Spain!!! He was a protector, yet had this kindness about him that was so serene. It's as if you could see this "blanket of love" just wrapping his family and those around him. Especially Tiia, you could see this connection of souls, as if they were one. He's with you all in the most powerful sense!

We love you all,
The Pereira Family

Shared by Åsa Vestersköld on May 14, 2022
❤️
Åsa perega Stockholmis


Shared by Steven Miron on May 13, 2022
Dear Robert, Tiia, and family,
It seems that Joosep was known by so many for his beautiful, big smile...and his beautiful huge heart.  Thinking back to both times I saw Joosep, when he was still a baby, that's indeed how I remember him.  
I still can't imagine the loss you've experienced...I think about you all, so often, hoping for your well-being.
Steve Miron, Catskills, NY