KEN BARRY DYCHES, (1938 - 2010) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

BARRY

72 years old
Born on December 12, 1938 in Long Beach, California, United States
Passed away on December 29, 2010 in Los Angeles, California, United States

This memorial website is created by Donald Trisdale, his husband, in memory of our beloved:

KEN BARRY DYCHES

Barry passed into eternity on December 29, 2010, after a courageous battle with terminal brain cancer known as melanoma. Barry celebrated his 72nd birthday on December 12, 2010. His passing shocked many and left our world with one less loving, caring and loyal individual. His footprint remains in our hearts. We shall remember him FOREVER.

All memorial tributes are deeply appreciated and can be individually created BELOW these stated red guidelines.

1. "ALL GUEST / MEMBERS CAN CREATE A MEMORIAL TRIBUTE.

2. SCROLL DOWN BELOW ALL OF THE "REMEMBERED DATES" AND CLICK ON "CREATE A TRIBUTE."

3. "REMEMBERED DATES" ARE ONLY CREATED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE WEBSITE.

4. TRIBUTES CAN BE CREATED BY ALL GUEST

Guests/members: Click on the tab "STORIES" located above and add a personal story.

Photos are permitted to be added ONLY if they contain a picture with BARRY. Exceptions for pictures of flowers are permitted. Barry loved flowers. Your understanding is deeply appreciated.

Add photos by clicking on the TAB "GALLERY" OR "ADD PHOTOS" on the right side of the page.

"REMEMBERED DATES"

71. REMEMBERED EVERYDAY OF LIFE. FEBRUARY 14, 2023.

70. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2023. Read our favorite verse this morning, walked the beach in glory with GOD and you, looking out over the ocean knowing you are there, here and everywhere I go. Another year moves us to this day, December 29th that we recognize the day you passed into the loving GRACE OF GOD’S ARMS. You are missed unbelievably not only by me but many, but we are all blessed to know you are now in the LORD’S glory. Truly a blessing we carry in our hearts and souls each day of the year. A light is always on for your presence.

69. REMEMBERED MONDAY, DECEMBER 25,2023. Knowing you live within us everyday of the year; a gift given to us by the birth of Jesus Christ.

68. REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12TH. An 85th birthday of joy. We celebrated many together. You were always shy about your birthday, but I so enjoyed giving you cards and finding that special gifts or trips to celebrate your B.D.  You always loved everything received and were so grateful. The dinners shared and surprise trips taken were awesome. Your favorite was the Concorde to Paris celebrating your 60th B.D. Difficult to imagine 13 more years passed since the last B.D. we shared together, but time is relative and almost like sand in a bottle. It flows quickly. I love each and every day of the year being with you, but on your special day, I am so thankful to our Lord that you came into the world, where our life's fused together, and we shared a loving life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPTAIN, my Barry.

67. REMEMBERED, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2023. Reflecting today is our 55th wedding anniversary. Thirteen years past since our last celebration together. I miss those times, the smiles and laughter, and the sharing of loving moments. Memories are eternal treasures.

66. REMEMBERED Saturday, November 5, 2023. I wondered this evening and you were there in my mind and I wanted you to let you know you are in my thoughts and heart. Yes, still miss you unbelievably because of how much you loved me and how much I loved you.

65. REMEMBERED Thursday, December 29th, 2022. Christ's ascension into heaven on the 3rd day after his death; I know you are with him. Remembering your passing 12 years today as the Lord welcomed you into eternity life.

64. MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVE. DECEMBER 24, 2022

63.  A Birthday to be Remembered:
............................, DECEMBER 12, 1938 on December 12, 2022.

62. REMEMBERED, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2022. Our anniversary - 46..........

61. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2022
I am so thankful for your love, companionship, friendship, and our marriage with the wonderful memories of your life.

60. REMEMBERED MONDAY, JULY 2022
YOU, are always and forever my Sunshine, the light of my life.

59. REMEMBERED MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2022
Always be my Valentine, FOREVER!

58. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2021
GOD gave us a special soul who walked the earth with purpose and always with grace.

57. REMEMBERED SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2021
The day represents the day of your birth. We, (I), miss you and the celebrations we shared on your special day. Today, I give thanks to your life and all the memories you gave me and to others. We were so blessed to have your footprint on our hearts.

56. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2021
The Present, Past, and Future. The years we SHARED. Now, on this day and date-45 years

55. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2021
Thanksgiving Day.
We have so much to give thanks too this year. Yes, we did lose so many, but please join me in knowing they are everlasting life and with others we have loved, cherish, and honored each day in our memories. Your love is everlasting, and lets march forward, knowing they hold our hand wishing us a wonderful day. You are loved! How do I know this? God told me so! I love you all, and know your heart hurts. Turn inward and toward your gift of love and forgiving, and all will be well. Barry touched my hand in those last moments, opened his eyes, grinned somehow, and whispered “I love you”. He walked with GOD’s angels.

54. REMEMBERED MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2021.
The last few days I wandered along our path, holding your hand to reduce the fright of being without you. Your strong hand in mine chased my demons far. You never knew how your strength saved me and others. Soon, I will have traveled 75 years; 11 years without your hand holding me near so I don’t fall off life’s cliff into the deep blue sea of eternal life. Because you loved me, never did you let go of my hand. Now, I remain walking in life’s forest with my hand always trying to put my hand back into yours. Almost eleven years passed struggling, yearning to clasp your hand of strength. So strong it was, the power of your hand continues to give me strength to struggle forward, knowing I will catch up with you soon, and once again grasp your hand again - in your care. I love you and miss you even greater as the years pass more than I ever thought was possible.

53. REMEMBERED TUESDAY, MAY 11 2021.
Some days are more filled with your words, and today you had so many words. Not only did I hear you, I felt your presence as I watched over and beyond the ocean. Why are some days so surreal and personal? I love those days. You and me.

52. REMEMBERED SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2021.
To read this remembrance SCROLL down to TRIBUTES.

51. REMEMBERED, TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PASSING, DECEMBER 29 2010
Today, return thoughts and the reality of your suffering in those last minutes until your eternal life. Though many have more pleasant life memories of you as I do, this day seems to never fade those horrific moments of seeing you passing. Our friend Pam held my hand as we both watched in disbelief this was happening. My heart remains in this felt pain but I fight each day for remembering you are no longer in pain, and doing GOD's work. I love you even more if that is possible, and hold on tight to the extraordinary memories knowing and being so grateful for the love you gave me and the friendship embraced to others.

50. REMEMBERED, CHRISTMAS, DECEMBER 25, 2020
Dearly missed, and loved. Ten years made of so many days of reflection of your love, and the times we spent with each other. Not only I, but so many hearts you touched, and still do.

49. REMEMBERED, BIRTHDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2020.
SUCH A DAY OF MEMORIES. TODAY, WOULD BE YOUR 82nd BIRTHDAY. YOU WERE ALWAYS SHY OF ATTENTION, BUT SO WORTHY OF ALL. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEEPLY. MAY THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT BE YOUR THIS SPECIAL DAY, AND IN DAYS / YEARS TO COME.
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENEROSITY, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF-CONTROL ARE WORDS I SPIRITUALLY THINK OF WHEN I FEEL AND REFLECT MY LOVE OF YOU.

48, REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10, 2020.
EACH DAY IS LIKE AN ANNIVERSARY, KNOWING YOUR LOVE, RESPECT, AND CARING WAYS. YET, TRADITION ONLY CELEBRATES IT ONCE A YEAR. THIS YEAR, TEN YEARS SINCE I SAW THAT HUMAN SMILE, THOUGH I SEE IT OFTEN IN DIFFERENT VENUES. THIS DAY IS CELEBRATED IN A SPIRITUAL EVERLASTING LOVE REPRESENTING 52 YEARS OF KNOWING AN ANGEL ON EARTH. FOR ME, IT WAS A MIRACLE I GOT TO WALK WITH YOU AS LONG AS I DID. i MISS THAT GIFT I WAS GIVEN EVER SO MORE!

47. REMEMBERED THANKSGIVING DAY, 2020...TEN YEARS AGO.
OUR LAST THANKSGIVING WITH YOU IN OUR HOSPITAL ROOM/HOME...LITTLE DID WE KNOW IT WOULD BE OUR LAST THOUGH WE KNEW IT WAS EXTREMELY SPECIAL - YOU, HARLEN AND ME, AND YOUR ANGELS. A HUNDRED YEARS WILL PASS, I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER OUR LOVE AND BE SO THANKFUL. WE WERE SO BLESSED BY GOD

46, REMEMBERED SUNDAY, APRIL 12, 2020, EASTER SUNDAY

45. REMEMBERED FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2020. HAPPY VALENTRINES DAY.

44. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 01,2020.....

Begin another year; 10 years without you December 29, 2020! Unbelievable!

43. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 27, 2019.
I am so saddened and sorry for the pain you experienced for me. Nine years later, I feel you, touch you, and enjoy all the memories you created for us. I love you Barry.

42. REMEMBERED WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 25, 2019. CHRISTMAS EVE AND DAY.
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day.....Yes, I love you and yes it is a difficult time even after nine years. The church activities, parties, and sharing time with so many people we enjoyed over the years are such glorious Christmas gifts. Yet, the loneliness and sorrow I feel is helplines and weak as I move to the glorious day without you. Holding your hand in Church, and praying together, and saying to each other “I love You”, hearing that voice of security, warmth, and never ending love is breath taking even after nine years of not hearing your words.

41. REMEMBERED THURSDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2019. ARE YOU REALLY 81?

TODAY, came so quickly, another year. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Alone, yet surrounded by so many loved ones who knew us.  I know we are both here together, where we would have been by now with each other on our island settling back and enjoying the “good life.” I got us here this year. We are all here now — Listening to a song that came out a few years ago, entitled, “ Pontoon “ by Little Big Town; a song made for us drinking a few beers on a special day. Barry, I love you so much, and after 9 years, I can hardly stand it still not being with you, especially on this day. I am trying so hard to accept our faith that life is an eternity, but it is a challenge. I just want to be with you. Life is nothing anymore without you. I promised you I would go on, but I have failed that promise. I am still so mad, and miserable with life without you. Sorry, sweetie. I will keep working on it. Today is a special day and I am so thankful I was a part of your life and so loved by you.. Of course, playing our song tonight, “Sea of Love”. How much do I love you? More than my life or any measurement of life. My heart is so full tonight. Does anyone understand except YOU?  LOVING YOU FOR ETERNITY! ... We are at home, you, the babies and me, and even J.C. You know were I am and you are with me. This will be our final resting place on this beautiful earth GOD gave to us. Took me nine years to get us here, but I never gave up, struggled, prayed a lot for help, and kept focused. We are now home on earth, and we will both be home for eternity in the future.

40. REMEMBERED TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10TH 2019
We would have celebrated our 43rd anniversary, on December 10th 2019. In some ways, it has been a long nine years since we celebrated the moment/day we joined our lives together. It wasn’t enough time to enjoy our togetherness. I miss you so deeply. Still trying to understand the whys’ and what ifs’, but continue to come back to the reality that I won’t see you till we are united in God's house and then it will be for eternity. So my faith will get me back to you and that is all that matters. I love you, miss you, and always thinking about YOU!
u always, especially on this special day, DEC 10, 2019. Happy Anniversary!

39. REMEMBERED THURS, NOVEMBER 28, 2019.
A blessing so many happy full days together giving thanks and being grateful for the love we shared. I will never stop loving you and missing your love.

38. REMEMBERED MAY MEMORIAL DAY MAY 27 2019.
SEE STORIES WHY BARRY IS REMEMBERED ON MEMORIAL DAY - HIS DEVOTION AND SERVICE CAUSED HIS DEATH.

37. REMEMBERED MAY 10, 2019 .........
A MEMORY TONIGHT -A SPIRITUAL FEELING.  Tonight, is not a special night for most, but some spirituals swirling about within me, and feeling your presence. More intense tonight than usual, and this spiritual feeling woke me. Are you near? I feel your presence - all day actually. Ended up becoming extremely emotional tonight. Maybe because after nine years, I opened a bottle of red wine we won at a NASCAR Jeff Gordon Auction. Some time ago in the moves after your new journey I broke one of Jeff Gordon’s red wine glasses. Kept the broken one, and it sits next to yours, and I used your glass. The corks are becoming dry, plus I just for some reason wanted to have a glass of red wine - a stirring of feelings for you! You are here tonight. Listening to music, and for some reason, many of our songs are playing. The music is streaming wi-fi songs that are played randomly. Guess you are playing, because one after another are all the songs we listened to as you drove me to work, as we drove watching the world pass by our car windows. A very powerful spiritual evening. Thank you my darling angel Barry. I love you and miss you so and very deeply.

.36. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14 2019.
Thinking of our wonderful Valentine memories of years past. Each were so special. I love you and always will. You are forever my Captain Valentine.”

35. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2018
Though I live with this empty feeling every day, it is more prominent today. In 2023 on this day, 8 years ago you entered eternal life. I would get in bed with you, and kiss a final goodbye. I would play that moment in my mind forever. As our dear enduring friend, Pam stood and witnessed this passing, catching me afterward, hugging me, and then she said a final goodbye as well. Then she left the room to fetch the nurses. We had our last final moment together, but not so fast - we have so many more dreams, and moments I knew you created.. This all plays out in my mind constantly. I love you so Barry. You are so missed my darling.

34, REMEMBERED DECEMBER 25, 2018 .
Christmas 2018. Thinking of you and where we were eight years ago. Time growing short as WE (PAM AND I) watched you sleep peacefully (breathing heavenly) in the hospital bed. You had gone to sleep a few days earlier, and sharing with me it was time for me to make the decisions. You closed your eyes and you never spoke again. A moment in time I shall take with me forever. I knew what you meant, and as I looked at you indefinitely, and I thought.....well, I will keep that to myself, since you already know. I am sure you heared me tell you continuously I will always love you forever, and I do. Enduring moments, and I hope you heard Pam and I talking till the end. You are and will always be my super hero, and the best Christmas present I ever received in my life. "GOD BLESS YOU BARRY" and I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER.

33. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2018.
Happy Birthday!
Today, your 80th birthday, some eight years since your journey after life started. How is this possible? It is so unreal/surreal, and I have such difficulty understanding you are not here. I miss you so deeply, the pain became a numbness. Today, you are so on my mind, not much difference from any other day of the year, but today, I get to dream you were born, and came into my life for us to be one. A glorious gift given by you to me on your birthday. Barry, there is only one like you, and I was so fortunate to be married to you. You gave the gift of life, "your love". and my dearest human being. When you were alive, I could never express how deeply I loved you and appreciated who you were....still words limit my expression and lost of this gift. You were/are the best person in my life that has walked on the earth I live. I pray every day on this earth, I will walk beside you once again. I know you are here. I watch for you, and hear you with those pennies, and dimes you drop for me to find. Oh sweetie, I love you so. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

32. REMEMERED DECEMBER 10 2018.
Our anniversary would have been today, December 10th, 2 days before your birthday. Both dates are difficult times, but always remembered. I love you so much, and miss you more today than those first days you had to say good-bye. I use this day, like many trying to think of our good times, but being weak, slip often back to moments in the hospital and how sick you were. Barry, I know you visit alot, and I truly feel your presence; I love you being near when you can. Never stop being around. I need you more than ever. Only one request, please be there when it is time and reach out for my hand. I love you forever, forever, and forever. Today, our 44th anniversary and I am still here without YOU!. Unbelievable.

31. REMEMBERED NOVEMBER 22 2018.
You are always here and remembered. As we start another holiday season, my love for you is stronger than ever before. I reflect over so many wonderful holidays, and think how fortunate to share so many. Hearing your voice and seeing the smiles you shared with the world brings the reality you walked with us for years. Often I reach out and touch your face just to waken and realize it was a dream, but I am so blessed to dream of a past reality.

30. REMEMBRED SEPTEMBER 10 2018 .
Today, I am 72. My day is filled with memories of being with you, sharing you with no one on previous birthdays. You always took the day off, and you would prepare a lovely breakfast, and we would watch together my favorite movie "The Way We Were", starring Robert Redford. Afterwards, a very busy day ahead full of surprises. Always, we ended with a fabulous romantic dinner, and most of the time attending a play, symphony concert, or a movie holding hands. I missed you, and our together times, laughter, and most of all just looking at you with such pride. I can't help to think today though, when you turned 72, on December 12, you only had 17 days left, and we could only share it together with you lying in bed so sick. At that time time, we did not know why this had happened so quickly, nor why. But, since then, I have found out, that you gave your life for our country being exposed to Agent Orange while in the service. All the ships you were assigned too were exposed to Agent Orange during the Vietnam Crisis/War. A substance many years later recognized by our government exposure meant most often cancer that was terminal. It was for you like so many and so early for the man I loved so much. Thank you for those nine years of Navy Service, and for giving the ultimate, your life. I am and so many so indebted to your sacrifice, and my loss. I love you Liteunant Commander, and miss you every day, but today is extra difficult.

29. REMEMBERED APRIL 1, 2018.
Celebrated Harlen's 38th B.D. We shared memories of past birthdays when you were here.

28. REMEMBERED FEBRUARY 14, 2018.
You are always my Valentine as you have always known. Using this day to remember your thoughtfulness and the love you shared with me not only on this day but each day of our lives together. We truly embraced a living, real fairy tale of respectful love for the days we endured together. Thank you. You gave me a lifetime gift. An everlasting Happy Valentine memory, my darling Captain.

27. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 29, 2017.
Seven years ago, along with Pam, I watched you leave and I shall never forget that moment as I said goodbye to the love of my life. Life without you is unexplainable. I quit trying to understand it because I just miss you so much. Nothing is right. I love you.
26. REMEMBERED DECEMBER 12, 2017.
Today we celebrate Barry's 79th birthday. Seven years have passed since entering the eternity gates. I miss you more than ever as everyone who you touched in life. A true giant void in the universe was created by your passing, but we shall always remember the gift of your birth that was created on this day. We all wish today we could have spent more time with you, but always cherish the moments we endured within your present. May your angel wings spread love and joy to more. You were a true blessing and for me an angel who walked among us.

25.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2017.
We would celebrate our 45th ANNIVERSARY ON THIS DAY. You are here with me tonight like so many evenings. I feel you.

24. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 23, 2017
THANKSGIVING DAY. The days before and the days after ALWAYS.

23.REMEMBERED: 4 JULY 201723. REMEMBERED: JUNE 18, 2017:
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BARRY.I love you so and miss you.

22. REMEMBERED: February 14, 2017
Another Valentines year without you. I did not write on this year's valentine day because it was more painful than ever. It has taken me until today to write to you, plus a song, plus you visiting me today. Even some TV technicians said there are spirits in the house. Of course, I know it's you. I just smiled and said you are okay. "He wants to make sure you are not going to hurt me." It was not a good year, but they are never are even great things do happen. I just miss the love of my life, and my life is no life without you. You are always my Valentine each day. A day does not go by without you being my first and last thought. Your love still touches me as it always will till I can no longer touch your love, and then I will be with you again. Thank you for your eternal love Barry.

21. REMEMBERED: FEBRUARY 14, 2016
VALENTINES DAY...Five years after receiving a wonderful and loving messages of your love. You were the most wonderful writer of special love messages. Thank you, and I miss them so dearly. I have one of the first photographs you and I have together, and what a wonderful Valentine's gift. We can thank Francine for this great gift.

20. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2016
SIX YEARS (DECEMBER 29, 2010 @ 8:28 PM) since we said our FINAL goodbye to each other. A difficult day, because of remembering how ill and how much pain you ended life. I tried everything to keep your pain away. I am so sorry and miss you each day of the year.

19. REMEMBERED CHRISTMAS 2016.....DEC 12, 2016 Birthday....
Loving you always, and forever!. You are the first, the last, and my everything.

18. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 10, 2016 - ANNIVERSARY...
As our song tells us, "You're my first, my last, my everything. The only one like you, there could not be another like you." I love you. Where did the time go for us? Missing you more than ever, and our tradition of having breakfast at the Bel-Air Hotel to kick off our special day. Remembering the anniversary that morning at the Bel-Air when we met our favorite actress Meryl Streep. She hugged us both!

17. REMEMBERED: THANKSGIVING DAY 24, 2016
Tis the season again, and difficult times of the year without you. It is coming up six years Dec.29, 2016, since I last saw you; of course, I see you each day in my memories and talk to you daily. I miss you and am so lonely without you! It is not a real life without you. I travel often, but the reality wherever I go is without you, and knowing that makes it so sad. Still, in disbelief, you are gone.

16. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10,2016
My birthday. ON A GREECE TRIP PROMISED TO TAKE ME ON. I DID IT.

15. REMEMBERED January 19, 2016.
-Misty, our beloved BOSTON TERRIER, the LOVE OF OUR family passed at the age of 10.

14. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14, 2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

13. REMEMBERED: SEPTEMBER 10, 2015.

12. REMEMBERED: NOVEMBER 26, 2015
ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY WITHOUT YOU...Found OUR SONG: "SEA OF LOVE"...How many times did we think of these words when I was at Berkeley and you in Nashville - separated by distance? We both thought the week would never end till one of us flew toward each other. We purchased American Airlines those three months.

11. REMEMBERED: December 10, 2015
42nd anniversary. Our birth...Its been five years, and I am still in shock without you, sometimes not believing you're gone, and other times realizing reality. Guess you know how much I miss you; of course, the hardest day is near, your birthday. But, today, it was our day, and we had so many special memories of this day. Never forget the morning of our 35th anniversary when we had a loving morning at the Bell-Air Hotel, relaxing outside having the most extravagant breakfast one could think of eating; setting in our round booth overlooking the beautiful swans in the pond, and then looking around to see one of our most famous movie stars, Meryl Streep, who looked up at us, hosted a glass and toasted to us. Our waiter who we had known for years, had shared with her we were celebrating our anniversary. She sent us a note, telling us congratulations. What a morning - a never unforgettable moment absolutely loving, a celebration day. Thank you, darling. I love you then, now, and forever. Thank you for everything, but most of all, your unconditional love for our entire life together.Your Sport, Donald.

10.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2015
Anniversary. LOVE YOU, CAPTAIN.

9.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 24, 2015
My best gift ever was YOU! Have fantasies of the door opening and there you are standing with your loving smile, and telling me, " I'M HOME!

7.REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2015 - MEMORIES:
FIVE YEARS WITHOUT YOU...Like yesterday in so many ways. Where are the days, I KNOW NOT. Each day I watch for you with the flag, the hummingbirds, and often feel your presence. In MY HEART I know you are near. I love you for eternity.

6. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 14,2015
Your still my loving and FOREVER VALENTINE.

5. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 29, 2014
4 yrs now passed. Sad memory!

4. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2013
Another year, again, thinking of you the day you were born. Love YOU ever so much!

3. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12, 2012
As long as I live without YOU.........I love you, Barry...Thinking of you the day you were born.

2. REMEMBERED: DECEMBER 12,2011
Where does the year go? Thinking of you on the day born.

1. REMEMBERED: JAN 1, 2011.
Started a new year without you. I can't stand it.

Tributes

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December 28, 2018

As I dream of our together life, I realize today will be eight years since I last actually physically saw you (December 29, 2010 - 2023hrs). I see you every day, and definitely in my dreams if they are dreams. I hope they are NOT dreams. You are everything I dreamed about, and still, do, and you made me complete. Thank you for such love you gave. It sweeps me on the magic carpet toward YOU!

December 21, 2018

CHRISTMAS 2018.
GRIEF:
I had My own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But, I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through,
But rather,
There is absorption,
Adjustment,
Acceptance,
And grief is not something that you complete
But rather endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on
But an element of yourself.
An element of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.

December 14, 2018

Hello Barry, sorry I am late, but even I was overseas I remembered your birthday, as you are in my heart every day. Will always remember your laughter and the love you had for Donald and friends. Donald is doing ok but will never be whole without you. Can you blame him? You remain our #1 hero.. Love you forever my friend.

December 14, 2018

Happy 80th Barry!
Thinking of you and all the fun Donald and I had with you and Bob on our trips. Such great memories we'll always treasure.
Love, Pam

December 13, 2018

My thoughts and prayers go out to you Donald as you celebrate Barry’s 80th Birthday. He truly was a gentle giant who is loved by so many, especially you. His kindness for others was beyond compare. His goofy laugh was infectious and it always made me enjoy whatever we were doing, that much more.
He was taken from us much too soon but hopefully all of the wonderful memories you have of him will carry you until you finally re-connect with him in the afterlife.
Love,
Joe

December 12, 2018

Happy birthday Barry
in heaven, forever hea!ed
Our Donald still loves and misses you
But your presence is often revealed.

December 12, 2018

Happy Heavenly Birthday, dear Barry. It breaks my heart to see how much your precious Donald misses you. You were a wonderful man, who lives on forever in the hearts of those who loved you---who love you still.... God bless you, Barry, and your beloved Donald and Harlen.

December 12, 2018

Happy Birthday Ken. Heard so many great stories from Donald.

December 12, 2018

Wishing my dear friend, whose memory will remain with me forever, a warm and sincere wish on this day, on what would have been his 80th birthday.
I pray for Barry's continuing place close to God especially during this Christmas season and for health, peace and happiness to Donald & Harlan now and in 2019!
With Warmest wishes,
Irwin

December 12, 2018

Thinking of you today, dear Barry, on our shared day, when you would have turned 80. You were a gift to our world. Rest in peace, my friend. Continue to look after Donald, whose love for you lives on.

December 12, 2018

Barry,
One of my own fears has always been that after I die, I might be forgotten. Then you realize that when you are loved, you never ever leave people’s hearts. Such is the case for all of us who survive you.
I will be in Piedmont and Berkeley for the holidays - the area our old haunts. Do you remember the ice cream shop with all the unusual flavors? Dinners at your house? And the conversations about children?
...like yesterday.
Love u

December 12, 2018

I hope the following helps YOU with the lost of a love one:
GRIEF:
I had my own notion of grief
I thought it was a sad time
That followed the death of someone you love
And you had to push through it
To get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through
But rather,
There is absorption
Adjustment
Acceptance
And grief is not something that you complete.
But rather you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
And move on,
But an element of yourself -
An alternation of your being
A new way of seeing
A new definition of self.

December 12, 2018

DECEMBER 12, 2018........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY CAPTAIN!
Missing u on your special day. Wanted to send you a birthday message of how much I love you and miss you.
I will love you forever, forever, and forever.
My heart is so broken. Love Donald, your sport.
Your card from Birthday Alarm: (not sure how to create a link?)
https://birthdayalarm.com/sendcard/mycards/edit?ccid=1&csid=55625296&card_id=1268
"Dreaming of a life of yesterday". My taste in my mouth is of your love. We fell in love so naturally, and I don't believe it was mysterious, but meant to be. We had looked for each other for so long, missing each other my seconds several times, and then a magical time occurred, and our lives finally intersected. Unknown it would be short even though we enjoyed our journey together for 42 years. But it seems like only no more than a few. Life and time are so difficult to understand, especially TIME.
Every moment I spent with you was a treasure. Never wanted to close my eyes, because I did not want to miss you for even a moment. I wanted to stay in the moment forever, never sleeping. Now, my dream is gone, and when you were here, I never missed a smile, a hug, and the desire for it never ends. I hope it was not just a dream. Now, I seldom close my eyes or sleep because I want to make sure I am alive, believing it happen.

December 7, 2018

ANNIVERSARY DECEMBER 10 2018
You were always such an optimist. Always positive, and showing your feelings and emotions who you loved. I was so lucky to have you love me so deeply. You shared your love so many ways, but on our anniversaries you made sure I would know the extent of your love. You would plan a wonderful day to share together - the best gift but always were more. A beautiful day guarantee, flowers, not one card, but sometimes up to five, and then there was dinner, a very special moment in our life. But some years included a surprise breakfast at the HOTEL BEL-AIR.........WOW is still the experiences we enjoyed. There is nothing that can top those experiences. Okay, maybe the supersonic Air France flight to Pairs, France. We did live a magical life together because of YOU! Forever, Donald Trisdale

November 22, 2018

As the California wildfires rage this year, it brings back so many horrific saddened memories and trauma we experienced on October 28, 1996, when similar fires destroyed our house and another 483 houses in Laguna Beach. I had forgotten why I had not used more pictures of your youth and our life, but everything was destroyed on that day. Our lives spared but life pictures gone. My heart aches for so many today, and so many lives lost this time. We along with everyone else survived our fate with the firestorm. We were blessed.

November 22, 2018

Woke this morning and there you were in my soul and mind. Another Thanksgiving, and the wonderful memories we shared over the years. It has not been easy, but my thoughts and reflections keep me together. I miss you so much, but ever so grateful we had each other as long as we did. I love you so and never ending missing YOU!

April 8, 2018

HELLO,
Just dropped by to tell you how much I love you, and miss you as I do each day. Harlen came by and stayed a few days to celebrate his 38th birthday. As usual, we were quiet, but we enjoyed our time together. He looks at your picture a lot, and I often wonder what would he ask me if he could. I find myself telling him," I know, we miss him. It is not the same as it was when Barry was here." I think he understands. He hugs me a lot more these days than in past, and most likely thinks what is going to happen when I am gone. As we talked many times, and never came up with a resolution that satisfied us both, I still don't have the answer. I am still hoping we will figure this out before I come. He celebrated his 38th B.D. We had a nice dinner and I shared some funny memories of all three of us. Hope you heard me. Harlen left today, headed back to Los Angeles, and I feel so alone without either of you, but I know you are near. I love you, and so miss you. Watch over him as I know you do each day. I know when you are here.Forever, I love you.

February 13, 2018

This eight year of missing you continues to be difficult, and especially on this day - Valentine's Day, February 14, 2018. We used this day to share a moment in time that would become a lifetime. Some years we shared dinner at home, others in a special place, in an LA restaurant or fly to San Francisco to dine in a restaurant.This year like the last seven, I will spend this day without your physical presence and alone. However,, I will have you in my heart, mind, and soul, and your spiritual love. I know you are near. I love and miss you do much.

January 8, 2018

Just to let you know and everyone else, I wore your CLEMSON T-SHIRT for the first half the night Alabama and Clemson played 2017. CLEMSON was the defending champion. Of course, as you know, I had to wear my Alabama shirt the second half, and Bama won to move on to the championship game with Georgia. JoAnn and I tried to yell for Clemson, but you know how I am about BAMA. I could see you with the Clemson band, and I pointed out to myself, there is the man I love so much.

December 30, 2017

Love you always and remember our times together. Give Donald the strength to continue his brave journey in 2018. You will be forever in my heart.

December 24, 2017

THINKING of YOU and the many times we shared Christmas Eve across the world. Tonight, Harlen and I are home reflecting those times and your outstanding smiling face. We miss you so much; As you know, I still not sure what I am doing without YOU.

December 15, 2017

A bit belated but still no less sincere, I am remembering my dear friend Barry on his birthday. Our previous celebrations come to mind, particularly when visiting with his wonderful parents and brother Denny in Donalson, Tennessee at the outset of the Christmas holiday time. Eating at Uncle Bud's Catfish restaurant on Old Lebanon Road (not sure if it's still there?) was a treat for this Yankee from New York City! I can feel Barry smiling down at me as he, laughingly, told me to take the flashlight to find my way to the restaurant's "privy/head" in the back of Uncle Bud's. Continue to rest in peace my friend. :-)

December 14, 2017

Dear Barry,

I know that you are in Heaven smiling down on your loved ones, especially Donald and Harlan. I know they miss you terribly everyday. Sending a hug to you in Heaven....

December 14, 2017

I don't really feel you have passed on to another life... I have so many memories of our years together. Because our work was so challenging and difficult, we both to pulled hard on the oars. And by doing so, we formed a bond AND a friendship borne of trust and mutual respect. And not surprisingly, a deep affection. You were one super individual. I just wish you still here. PS. You looked so handsome in your TR7. xo/Judith

December 13, 2017

I learned that Barry loved to make martinis and boy were they strong!
He probably learned from Heaven that I dumped mine in the kitchen sink when he wasn't looking. He was so sweet.

December 12, 2017

Thinking of you today and wishing you a Happy Birthday Barry.

Love Pam and Bob

Brrrr. It's snowing here!

December 12, 2017

Thinking of you with love dear Barry on this day we share....Happy Birthday!

December 12, 2017

"I love you Barry and you are in my thoughts today and always. You will never be forgotten. Always in my heart..

December 6, 2017

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING
79.........

Barry is remembered on this day for his birth - December 12, 1938.

Your parents and family were joyous on this day. They were blessed with an angel. So many milestones experienced and gifts given during your life. Fortunately for me, a miracle occurred two days before your birthday, I met the angel of my life.Your birth I soon realized would be the greatest gift I would ever receive "HALLELUJAH !".

I will celebrate this gift each day of my life and always remember this date.

To reflect my love for you on this day, I honor your special day with special Christmas songs you enjoyed for so many years and I celebrate so many wonderful memories of your birthday by reading special written love cards, and messages so elaborately were written.

The only gift I can honor you with is the memories you gave of yourself. This gift is greater than anything I could ever purchase, create, or engineer.

I shall take a trip down Memory Lane today like I often find myself doing to celebrate, reflect, and enjoy the gifts created by your life, and enjoy all the memories of your life, and our life.

Each day is a treasure chest of your love - REMEMBERING WE ARE STILL ONE!

November 27, 2017

DECEMBER 1O, 2017
Our anniversary; yes, it would be our 45th. It was like yesterday and yet the journey over the highway has been so long and difficult since you left. But, I love this day and will always because it was the day we gave birth to our never-ending love for each other. You were/are the greatest person I ever met in my life. Of course, you know that, and I knew I was loved like no one else. You knew how to give, and you gave it all. I know that, and will never, ever, forget that love. I remember it each day of my life, not on this day only. How could I ever forget. You etched it in my soul. I love YOU!

November 25, 2017

Thinking of you and thankful for the days we spent together.

Love, Pam and Bob

November 20, 2017

ON 23 NOVEMBER 2017:
THANKSGIVING DAY

I see the joy and pain of so many people our age. I see why so many are so lucky to have each other at this stage of life. We were not that fortunate like so many. Won't deny it's not tough being without YOU because it is, and the hardest part of living life is to continue my journey alone. Days are empty no matter my life involvements, and what is so difficult nothing can, nor anyone do anything to resolve the emptiness except the ending. We had the one-lifetime love and there is no cure for this type of pain. One of us had to face it alone to endure.

This year has been another horrific roller coaster ride. Now, I understand why I had to learn to ride the roller coasters with you and Harlen. Tried some major life changes, and unfortunately, all ended with a crash. However, at least I tried

The year has almost passed again, another age year, and my eyes awaken to the thought it is soon to be the seventh year (December 29, 2010) without you. Still, I think this is a very long nightmare. Could it be? Wish we could both awake and it would be over. Unless some unexpected event occurs, guess this nightmare will continue. No matter the outcome, my love for you is never ending, nor the hurt of NOT having YOU in the PRESENT.

Went to a memorial service in San Diego for a flight attendant a few days ago. A lovely celebration and beautiful day to be out to sea. I see again why we enjoyed the sea and its solitude. Of course, I could see you on your Navy ships in uniform hustling about doing drills. The Navy needs you for sure this year like I need YOU every year.

As her remains were given back to the earth, the sun glowed slightly above the water line with fiery reds, oranges, and blue colors. Just at the moment, her ashes touched the sparkling ocean water, a rushing wave hit the boat, and above me were awesome heavenly flatten, silky clouds that zig-zag across the sky. I could sense your whereabouts, and felt you; I totally forgot I was on the boat and could not hear any sounds. The flatten whiten fluffy cushion see-through clouds were like angels who had spread their wings visibly above us. I know you gave us that moment.

I felt you had taken Ann's hand to ensure all is well. I became so spellbound not realizing I did not hear anyone even losing my whereabouts. I gazed into the sky and then back into the deep dark crystal sparkling ocean water feeling I was the only one on the boat floating, rocking, and watching the every growing wave sweep a life away into another time. Hence, I see how this nightmare I endure each day will finally end for all of us

All of sudden I heard cries of my name and finally realizing someone was yelling my name from the other end of the boat. I turned, and the moment I had felt was swept away into the breeze - gone. But, the moment was somewhat captured with a friendly photograph and then I felt some arms wrapping around me with an enduring hug. Then the tears gushed like a casting waterfall as I turned back into the wind looking beyond the horizon and listening to the rhythmic ribbon sound and a smell of the boat's engine. My eyes glazed with a shield of swelling tears as the waves swept you both away.

I love you so and you know how much I miss YOU!

July 5, 2017

4 JULY 2017

Hey Sweetie,
Just thinking of all the times we shared with the fireworks, and how scared our babies were. We would put them in the car and turn on the radio, and drive them around for two or three hours. We would stop have enjoy the lights, with the radio on so loud, so they would not hear the fireworks sound. We would laugh what we had to do to keep them from freaking out. Harlen thought we were crazy. Maybe we were, but we had fun. Oh, how I miss you. Why is it this way?
I love you,
Donald

June 18, 2017

Remembering what a great person, great husband, great son, great best friend, great manager, and great loyal individual with super being traits as human integrity, honesty, and fairness. I miss you so much everyday, but today on father's day as well.. You were also legally my father. We did whatever we needed to do, to not let anyone or anything interfere with our lives. I love YOU, MISS YOU....HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
Donald

May 26, 2017

Thinking of you! Playing some songs that remind me of you and me!
I love you, but you know that. Wow, I am tired not being with you.

February 18, 2017

FEBURARY 14, 2017
Always my Valentine; more than ever. One of my students gave me one of her roses from her boyfriend today. I took it as a sign that you sent it to me. I tried to give it back to her, but she insisted I keep it, smiling at me. I did. I knew it was from you. Thank you my wonderful eternal love. I love you so much. Your sport, Donald

December 30, 2016

You are always in my heart, and near each day. Its so difficult to realize its been six years since I last touched your hand, and kissed your cheek. You are such a wonderful loving angel. Dec. 29, 2016.

December 29, 2016

Barry was a wonderful person,with a kind heart and loving soul.His presence is sorely missed.

Bill

December 29, 2016

Dear Barry,
Such fond memories of you and Donald. I love the way you loved one another.
Miss you today and always!

December 29, 2016

Barry, you are always remembered by those who loved you and those whose lives you touched. Rest in peace.

December 24, 2016

Approaching another Christmas (2016) the fifth one without you. I cannot express in words how I miss you. You gave me happiness, peace, and most of all you're enduring and everlasting LOVE. A truly Christmas gift forever. I love u Barry and miss u so. Life is just not right without you.

December 23, 2016

Oh Barry, I just sat here at the computer reading all the wonderful tributes posted by dear friends & family and listening to all the special songs and tears are running down my face as I think about how fortunate I am to have had you in my life.
I loved & admired you ever since we first met..
Donald, I'm crying for you too. I know the pain in your heart is overwhelming. I wish I had the right words to help. Try to thrive on all the many years of love & happiness that you & Barry had together and know that the two of you will someday be together again.

December 12, 2016

Dear Barry,

Where has this year 2016 gone? I know you are in a comfortable place and from your perch, you watch over Donald... would it be so sweet if you were here on your SPECIAL day. But alas, no. Yet you remain in the hearts of so many...sending warm thoughts to Don. Lots of love, Judith

December 12, 2016

Thinking of you on this, our shared special day. Happy Birthday, dear Barry. I know you are smiling down on me and especially on your dear Donald. You are always in my heart.

December 12, 2016

Dec 12, 2016--Happy Birthday...My prayers will be answer in time. This can never be the end, but only the beginning. We had so many wonderful friends and who miss you. You made such a difference in their lives, and change mine forever. Thank God, he sent us you! I thank you GOD each day for Barry.

December 11, 2016

Just me....Today, our birth together, our anniversary. Of course and as always thinking of you. Having a harder time understanding where time is going and/or gone. I love your visits. I love you. Donald

P.S. I am up so late, the computer recorded Dec. 11th because it is 1:45am on the 11th. Our anniversary was 10 Dec. Guess I better go to bed.

December 4, 2016

THINKING of YOU as everyday. Worked some on the website. It helps when I am so lonely. I love you so much! You are so missed, I find myself non functional at times. But thinking of the great life we had brings be back; I just miss that, and it is what it is. Forever, Donald

November 22, 2016

Oh my, here I am again, that season I have come to dislike so much. I know you would not like that, because it was one of our favorite seasons, but then it was two, and then three. Harlen unfortunately does not like it either. I try so hard to be happy for him, but he is a lot smarter socially than we ever knew. He has been so wonderful this year, doing things we thought he might not ever do. I am so proud of him, and you would be so excited. To bad, he was never included in the entire family, but I wasn't either. They would loved him so.

May 8, 2016

I wanted you to know our Misty jumped into your arms after a two day painful battle with pancreistis on JAN 19th, 2016. She was a very special angel that came home to you.

Remember, she knew when you were a block from the house in the afternoon, and be at door or waiting at the front gate. In the morning she would watch you until the car was out of sight. Another, and very unexpected heartbreak blow. She was only 10 years old.

And,as you know after your sudden departure she became my entire life. I only left her three times after you left and it killed me each time. She was unbelievable living with us daily in the hospital and lying between your legs when you started your journey. Once you left she jumped off your bed and jumped into my arms. I knew you were on your way. Whe went home soon afterwards and Misty never slept in our bed again, always remaining at the side in her bed on the floor. She always let me know when you were near. I find comfort knowing you met her over the bridge were she ran in circles around you as you clapped your hands in the beautiful flowing grass. Can't wait to see you guys. So lonely here even as I stay busy and work everyday.

February 13, 2016

Barry, there are a lot of people that loved you andwill always miss you, and I am one of them. You & Donald have such a beautiful love story which carried on through all aspects of your life------------your love for people, your love for life, your love for animals. You were always such a loving, caring person. I'll never forget the day of your dad's funeral when you took my arm and escorted me down the isle to say my last good byes to Ken. You'll never know how much that meant to me. Of course, that is just one of the many fond memories that I'll always have. All I can say, God sure knew what He was doing when He created you and now He has a wonderful disciple with Him up in Heaven. I hope I make it there so we can meet again. But for now, I'll just enjoy the memories of having a super brother-in-law who showed me what love & compassion is all about. Love & miss you, Sue
PS My love goes out to you too, Donald & I hope you make it to Florida to visit with all the Dyches girls.

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March 8

Sitting here today, enjoying the thoughts of you and the reflection of what a wonderful individual GOD gave us to be loved by. The joy, kindness, and love you brought me and others. We were given such treasures there is no way we (I) could ever forget that love, kindness, and respect. My prayers are others find such in their lives. I miss you deeply, but I still have your love, and kindness for eternity.
Always thinking of you my LOVE,
Donald

December 29, 2023

To my dear friend Ken you where a lovely person I will never forget your kindness we Chloe Ilse and I will never forget you also Donald may god bless is heart for feeling is life with out you

December 29, 2023

A day doesn’t past that your presence isn’t near, but today thirteen years ago, GOD took your soul into eternal peace and forever love where pain and hurt is no more. We miss you so, but our hearts are glorified by GOD’s gift of peace and protection of everlasting love. We remember this day in your honor of walking with us before your journey with GOD.

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So touching. What a wonderful, kind, generous and loving man Barry was.

September 20, 2023

The title says it all! Thanks Donald for sharing all those lovely pics! You should post some of the gang from the gay tennis Federation. There’s a really cute one I sent you of Barry wearing an Indian feather on his head sitting on Tom Neville’s and my lap. His laugh was infectious and so, so so cute! A gentler man I’ve never known.

My heart goes out to you as you continue to suffer his loss.

Hugs,

Valentine's DAY 2023

February 3, 2023

Living with Barry was Valentine's every day. Why? Firstly, each morning was greeted with a smile, a warm robe from the dryer, and the words " I love YOU". He had already brewed a pot of coffee, and he was ready to make up the bed even if I was not out of the bed. That was the Navy in him. Then our walk with Harlen, and the babies (some call them dogs). They were the humans, we were the dogs. Off to work, and school. The afternoons were treasures. Barry's arrival, a homecoming, with a briefcase in hand, and his suit on, broom in hand immediately, sweeping the sidewalk, and curb. Neighbors come by and say hello, and sweeping continues till every piece of dirt and paper is removed. Then, in the house, glasses iced for drinks to come, and change of clothes to more of relaxed one, and then the biggest hug one can ever imagine and the smile from GOD. One was in his arms with that hug. Now, the mixologist at work for that perfect cocktail and a quiet time sitting with the Koi. It was finally our time. You know, that special moment. A Valentine's moment.

LOOKING THROUGH THE MIRROR

December 24, 2021

When you were born I was not there nor born. Born in Long Beach, CA., and I in Redding, CA., faith would bring our lives together in years to come. You raised by your grandparents in South Carolina, and I near Nashville, TN by my mother, her mother and dad, uncle, and aunt. How would I lives interwind into one? That story will be told on a different day. This story is about you from the time I knew you till your passing.

Your dad, a lifetime career in the Navy, and your mother, often left alone as wives in the military are to raised their children. Often left with an uncle and aunt due to your dad being relocated by the Navy. A most difficult hardship that many endure to this day. Our lives parallel in many ways. I, lived with my grandparents because my mother, a single mother worked.You and I both so loved by our parents, yet yours could never accept you unless you did what made them feel proud. Mine, always wanted me to be happy. You strived your entire life to be what your parents desired. You were successful in your achievements, and they rejoiced in your success. Their plans for you were to be a successful and accomplishment lifetime Navy Officer, marry and have children. But, you came to reality and at a crossroad and left the Navy. With your Dad’s assistance, the state of Tennessee provided resources for you to attend George Washington University where you obtained a Master’s degree in Hospital Administration. Afterwards, you were appointed hospital administrator for Tennessee Eastern State Hospital, a mental health long term care institution near Knoxville, TN. After meeting your obligation to the TN Department of Mental Health, you secured a position with the TN Hospital Association in Nashville, TN. During this period you came to realization you were gay, and started relationships with men both as friends and sometimes romantic. On one occasion, both you and Donald were invited by a mutual friend to a Christmas party. Neither of you attended, but both of you later that evening just happened to visit the same Nashville nightclub, and were introduced to each other by the mutual friend. Immediately, both were attracted to each other and bonded like “love at first sight”. That night was magical for you both, and it was the beginning of our life journey together.

Denied love by your mom for who you were, you marched forward with your life and all the challenges of family acceptance, professional life, self acceptance being gay and living a life as a married man. Never being accepted by your parents for being gay, the strain caused great emotional stress and often no relationship with your parents. The hurt was continuous, sparkling out of control at times, and finally to the point of no communication with you mother. The damaged relationship ended unrepairable, and your heart was deeply hurt to the end.

Your journey continued with Donald for forty two years, and ended with in Donald’s arm that December 29th night 2010. Both of you were fortunate to adopt Harlen, and you had your family so desired. You always maintained such dignity, love, and grace for all. Admired and loved by many, and dearly loved by Donald and Harlen. You are so missed and loved eleven years since your passing. The forty two years was a blink of an eye, and the laughter, love, can still be heard and felt today. An everlasting love and journey.

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